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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by ScorpionWins on Sat 15 Jan 2011, 2:17 pm

Of course not. Grandpa just recited the wrong spell, is all. I'm sure Agent Mulder will be here soon.

Hey Dad, a werewolf asked me if you had that sacrifice you promised him.
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Sun 16 Jan 2011, 4:37 pm

Tell him I ran away to Mexico.

Hey dad, do we still have that silver chainsaw?

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by The Wicked Xen on Mon 17 Jan 2011, 2:23 am

Nope. I sold it so that I can pay for man-hookers.

Hey Dad, you didn't mess with a spell did you? Because you look a little bloated and you've been complaining about a sore back, swollen ankles, strange cravings, and morning sickness for the past five months.
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by ScorpionWins on Sat 22 Jan 2011, 2:06 pm

Of course not. That's your MOTHER, dear. Poor girl, you and your amnesia.

Hey Dad, why did you lock uncle Fred in the basement?
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Sat 22 Jan 2011, 2:14 pm

Cause uncle Fred has, sadly, become a danger to himself and others. He's so far gone, he thinks that Vehicle Voltron is cooler than the original, and that Twilight is a wonderful novel with a likeable main character.

Hey dad, Fred's gone completely batshit insane on us since he saw that thing you summoned yesterday....

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by Tom on Sat 22 Jan 2011, 2:43 pm

Look, it was just a video of me plowing a couple of... girls whilst I was drunk. He needs to get the hell over it.

Hey Dad, I must be the grandfather or something, so I'm talking to a dead person. Aren't I delightfully insane?

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Mon 24 Jan 2011, 12:01 pm

No. You're delightfully sane. Ghosts exist.

Hey dad, Big Foot kidnapped mom...

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by ScorpionWins on Tue 25 Jan 2011, 5:15 pm

Well then, we must go fight to- waitaminute, I'm single now... excuse me while I find a bar.

Hey Dad, is it wrong if I find my cousin hot?
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:00 pm

That depends how distant the cousin is.

Hey dad, my kid needs serious mental help.

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by ScorpionWins on Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:51 pm

HE needs mental help? I'm still not over that I'm a grandfather at 35. Seriously, I told you to use a condom.

Hey Dad, it looks like that businesswoman you invited for dinner is actually a nudist.
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Thu 27 Jan 2011, 3:18 pm

And that's a bad thing?

Hey dad, mom called. She said she's been kidnapped by a giant gorilla. Again.

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by ScorpionWins on Thu 27 Jan 2011, 5:07 pm

*Sigh* get the hammer. I'll go put on some overalls and a cap.

Hey dad, the giant gorilla called. It's been kidnapped by mom. Again.
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:50 pm

Ok, you call the family lawyer, I'll go rescue that poor gorilla.

Hey dad, my roommate tied me to a chair and said something about us being "united forever". He's holding a knife.

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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by The Wicked Xen on Tue 01 Feb 2011, 4:44 am

If I was religious I'd pray for your safety. Sadly, I am not religious so I won't pray for your safety. You're on your own.

Hey Dad, I was accosted in an alleyway by some sparkly dude and he bit me in the neck. Now I have this weird craving for blood and killing. What do I do?
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by GenericSpider on Tue 01 Feb 2011, 1:45 pm

Well, unfortunately, you've been bitten by a sparkly vampire. I'd advise suicide, but I don't believe in it, so, um....just try to resist the urge to fail at everything and chase teenage girls; and try to act as much like a REAL vampire as possible.

Hey dad, I'm trapped in a room with no weapons with hordes of demons outside.

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Go Team Godzilla
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by The Wicked Xen on Tue 22 Feb 2011, 12:02 am

Well, to me its seems that you have three options. 1) Get killed by the hordes of demons outside, 2) Stay in the room and starve to death, or 3) Swallow your tongue. Whatever you choose you're dead. Your choice.

Hey Dad, would you still love me if I'm gay?
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Re: Hey Dad...

Post by Whitepulse43 on Tue 22 Feb 2011, 2:11 am

Son......I am disapointed, i would have loved you still if you would have been Bi.

Hey Dad, what are the best choices to get a girl?
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Re: Hey Dad...

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