Conspiracy Wars: Finally Posted.

In a world, where several conspiracies fight over the pieces of an ancient device....no, that's not a good beginning. It implies that that world is not, in fact, our world.

Under our very noses, several very secretive groups have been at war for dominance since before most of you were born. They were involved in almost every major war. And almost every major event in the last century or so; though oddly enough, not the Kennedy assassination.

The Illuminati...

The MIB

The Lizard people

And some crazy Cult.

Each group has one piece of a strange, ancient device; and each piece grants different kinds of powers to those who touch it. Noone knows what will happen when the pieces are brought together; each group has a different belief.

Which group will gain all the pieces? What will happen when they are brought together? Who will win the Conspiracy Wars? Only time will tell....

Jen returned to the MIB headquarters, walking into their secret base having just completed a difficult mission. A man ended up in the hospital due to the enemy actually expecting them, so she wasn't exactly in a good mood.

"Fucking Cultists," Is all she said as she walked in.

(So yeah, I have no clue what kind of headquarters we're talking about here. I wanna imagine the one from the movies though)

Dana Thompson also wandered in to the building, having just returned from a mission.

"Fucking Illuminati, fucking Lizardmen, fucking Cultists, and fucking fifty xanatos pileups," she muttered.

She headed towards Jen's office to give a mission report.

Jen saw Dana walking to her office looking pissed. Oh goodie, that's what she needed right now. She sighed.

"Hello, Ms. Fearless leader!" said Dana, cheerfully. "I'm here to give my report!"

"At first, getting to the Illuminati-supporting politician was easy. I was able to get past the civilian security detail he hired, and was able to distract the two illuminati members guarding him. However, it turned out that the politician had already been 'replaced' by a lizard person without the Illuminati knowing; and that he had three more fucking reptiles with him,

"Apparently it was yet another ambush planned for me by the lizardmen; and I ended up having to team up with the two Illuminati in order to fight my way out of there; but the moment I was out, the Cultists managed to capture me; as they ALSO had some kind of plan involving this clusterfuck of a mission.

"Luckily, I managed to escape with a clever plot involving a banana; and managed to return here to report," she finished.

She sighed.

"May I have a vacation now? This is the fifth trap you've sent me into this week! You owe me some time off!" she said.

Leon sat, head down, at a bar, having given his report on the recent mission. "Fucking bitch..." He muttered. "Still feels like there's banana in my ear canal..." He slammed down the last of his beer and ordered another one, loudly.

'I just know I'm going to get another mission by tomorrow. I totally need a vacation...' Thought Leon.

"Relax, will you, Mikey?" Sam waved off his protests in a failing attempt to act cool.

"Sammy, you do realize you aren't old enough to drink, right? Plus, I'm a recovering alcoholic." He stared at the bar uncertainly.

Sam sighed. "Please don't call me that," she muttered. "Also, you don't have to go in. I'll go in for a little bit. Don't worry, I'll be fine!" She laughed and put on some sunglasses. "I can handle myself."

Michael groaned. "Sam, no offense, but you look-"

She looked at him with sparkling eyes. "Look cool?" she asked hopefully.

He put his hand on his forehead and muttered, "Yes, that's what I was going to say." She grinned and adjusted the glasses. He let out a sigh. "Alright, but I'll be back in about twenty minutes, okay? Try not to get in any trouble?"

She saluted him. "Got it." He nodded nervously and walked off. She smiled and stepped into the bar. She noticed a rather angry man sitting alone and decided to go and cheer him up. "Hey, mister. Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked, indicating the seat next to him.

"Fucking go for it. Doesn't matter to me." Leon grumbled loudly. He then knocked back half of another beer, and slammed the bottle on the table, groaning.

Sam looked at him strangely for a moment. 'Hmm..' She sat down and quietly ordered a glass of water. She sipped it and glanced at Leon out of the side of her eye. 'I wonder if he'll get mad if I try and talk to him.' She turned towards him and asked,"So, what's got you down?"

"Work. Had to go to a... business meeting... and met a real bitch there." He gulped down more beer. "If I ever see her again... I just want to rip her head off, and feed it to the lizar- buzzards!" He proclaimed, catching himself at the end.

"Oh, that sucks," she said. 'Was he going to say lizards? Hmm. Maybe he's just too drunk to get his animals straight.' She frowned a little at all of the beer he was drinking. "Um.. don't you think you've maybe, I don't know, had enough to drink?"

"I've NEVER had enough to drink. EVER." Leon slammed his head down on the counter. "Stupid fucking weak human liquor..." He muttered.

Sam was surprised by his yelling. "Okay, okay. Sorry.." She hesitantly reached over and patted him on the back. "It'll be okay."
'Remember, just act cool,' she told herself. She took a deep breath and said, "I mean, you're better than that lady anyways, right?"

"Yeah... yeah I am." He looked up at her, and grinned. "Say, you know what'd cheer me up? A night drinking with such a lovely lady as yourself." He said, leaning his head on his hand, with his elbow on the counter.

She blushed. 'Lovely? Pssh.. what is this?' she thought, though she was secretly flattered. "Sounds cool. I'm not much of a drinker, though. I haven't really tried it. I've only ordered water here, anyways." She took another sip of her water.
---
Michael looked at the seemingly endless shelves of bread at the grocery store he had entered. 'Dammit.. I don't know which one to pick..'

"Oh come on, one drink won't kill you." Leon said, still grinning. His thoughts, already slightly muddled, now were almost entirely divided between 'Please be a lightweight Please be a lightweight Please be a lightweight Please be a lightweight Please be a lightweight...' and 'Don't use my tongue on her Don't use my tongue on her Don't use my tongue on her Don't use my tongue on her Don't use my tongue on her...'

Sam thought for a second. "Hmm.. I suppose you're right. Alright, I'll drink one, but I don't know what would be good."
---
Michael reached for a random loaf with his eyes closed. He opened one eye and sighed. He didn't want that kind. 'Well.. I don't know what to do,' he thought hopelessly.

Leon ordered something loudly. The bartender gave him a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses.

"To you, my lovely lady." He grinned widely and poured both of them shots, passing one to her. "Cheers!" He gulped down his own shot.

"Cheers," she said back. Sam stared at the glass. 'Eh, it'll be fine.' She brought it to her lips and tilted her head back. She coughed after she drank it all in one go. "Ah, sorry. I should have drunken it slower." She laughed nervously and wondered where Michael was.

"Nah, it's fine, my lovely lady." Leon's grin never left his face as he poured each of them another shot. "Ah, I feel like we've known eachother a long time already!" He downed another shot, still grinning.

Sam smiled. "Really? I hope we can be friends then." She drank the next shot and then looked at him. "I don't really think I should drink any more. I feel strange."

"Strange? Heh, it might feel like that. Don't worry, drink some more and it'll get better." 'Hangover's a bitch though...' Leon finished mentally, still smiling, and poured her another shot, and then poured himself one.

"Oh, okay then." She smiled and kept drinking. She really did feel strange. It was a mixture of dizziness and unexplained anger.

Leon's grin turned into a satisfied smirk as he gulped down another shot and began pouring more. 'Soon, my lovely little lady... soon I will fuck your brains out.' He thought to himself.

After drinking some more, she placed her head on the counter. "Stupid Mikey. He didn't come back for me like he said," she muttered. She didn't understand why, but she was getting more and more angry by the minute.

Leon's neverending grin returned as he poured more shots. 'Yeah, pour your heart out... then I'll be the nice understanding guy and we'll go bang bang bang all night long, baby. He thought, barely hearing her muttering.

Sam sat up and turned to Leon. "And he said I wasn't cool! Am I cool?" she asked with a hiccup. She continued to drink the shots without even realizing it. She stared at his grin and wondered what he was so happy about.

"You're very cool, my dear..." Leon chuckled. Despite his impressive alcohol tolerance, he too was getting tipsy.

Sam smiled at his answer. "Thanks."

Michael sighed and entered the bar. 'I hope Sam isn't too angry with me.' His eyebrows raised when he saw her sitting next to a strange man. 'Is she drinking?' he wondered in alarm. He walked over to them. "What's going on here?"

"Going on? Not much. Just havin' a drink with this little lady." Leon threw an arm around Sam, and turned to Michael, still grinning. "There a problem with that?"