Sayaka: Hi, anyone who happens to be reading this!

Kyoko: Today we'll be riffing a country song. I'm guessing it'll be about Jesus, hometowns, or drinking. Or possibly all three.

Homura: Gee, what a bold prediction.

--

In my home town

Kyoko: CALLED IT!

For anyone who sticks around
You're either lost or you're found

Sayaka: Only a country singer gives an absolute.

There's not much in between

Homura: That must be the motto of their police department.

In my home town
Everything's still black and white

Kyoko: "Cause we're all colorblind,"

It's a long, long way from wrong to right
From Sunday mornin' to Saturday night

Sayaka: What do days of the week have to do with wrong or right?

Kyoko: I'm guessing Saturday = fun. And fun is of the devil.

Everybody just wants to get high

Sayaka: Then they can chill with the Grim Reaper; and eat large amounts of Cheetohs.

Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives

Kyoko: "and cheatos; Omigod, do we have any?"

We follow the roads that lead us
To drugs or Jesus

Kyoko: Once again...CALLED IT!

Sayaka: I don't know who the heck this Jesus person is. Does that make me a drug addict?

My whole life, I've tried to run, I've tried to hide

Kyoko: "But that dope from the draft board keeps following me!"

From the stained glass windows in my mind

Homura: Hiding from imaginary stained glass windows is definately not a sign of insanity.

Refusing to let God's light shine
Down on me, down on me

Kyoko: "Bitch, shine that light elsewhere! It's getting in my eyes!"

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
There's not much space between us

Homura: Only a few lightyears. Relatively speaking; that's not actually that much.

Drugs or Jesus, yeah


Everybody wants acceptance
We all just want some proof

Kyoko: I could use some proof that non-christians are drug addicts. I'm not seeing alot of evidence there.

Everyone's just looking for the truth

Sayaka: You can't handle the truth.

Everybody just wants to get high
Sit and watch a perfect world go by
We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives
We follow the roads that lead us

Homura: Wait, is this song implying that we don't even get a choice?

To drugs or Jesus, to drugs or Jesus

Sayaka: I choose neither.

Kyoko: I choose drugged-Jesus. The best of both worlds.

Oh, I need you Jesus

Kyoko: "Yeah, Jesus, I'm low on drugs. Can you turn this water into weed or something? Or cheetoes. OH MY GOD DO WE HAVE ANY?"

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Homura: Halleluja, the song is finally over.

Sayaka: Well, you were wrong about one thing, Kyoko: it didn't have any drinking.

Kyoko: Damn. I was hoping to get three cliches in a row.

(The song lyrics belong to Tim McGraw. And he can keep them)