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Assorted Humor

Post by NazrinTsunMouse on Sat 05 Jun 2010, 9:53 pm

Had a funny joke in mind? Found a hilarious video on youtube? Post them here. As long as the jokes are tasteful and you are sure it won't offend anyone on this forum.

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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Dr. Phazon on Fri 02 Jul 2010, 4:13 pm

Okay, here's one:

Three guys are all hanging around the construction site where they work, on their break. They get into a debate about which of them is the strongest, and eventually come to the conclusion that the best way to decide is by a contest. They each take a brick and throw it as high as they can.

The first man grabs a brick off the ground, and says "Just try and find the spot where this brick lands!" With that, he pulls back an arm and hurls the brick as hard as he can into the air. It goes flying up and over the construction's site's crane. The man dusts off his hands and sits back down.

The second man gets up, grabs a brick, and says "Don't bother trying to find this brick; it's going to burn up on re-entry!" After making his claim, he winds up his pitch, before chucking the brick up into the sky. It sails up and over a nearby skyscraper. The man dusts off his hands and sits back down, laughing at the dumbstruck look on the first man's face.

The third man gets up, finds himself a brick, and says "You won't be finding this brick, 'cause it's not coming back down." Then, he flings the brick up. And up. And up. And the other two men stay their for their whole break, waiting for it, but the brick never comes back down.


Last edited by Dr. Phazon on Fri 02 Jul 2010, 8:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Shiroame on Fri 02 Jul 2010, 6:42 pm

Um....I don't get it....
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Dr. Phazon on Fri 02 Jul 2010, 8:34 pm

You don't? Okay, another one then.

A woman is riding on an airplane, and not enjoying her ride much at all. Aside from the usual problems associated with air travel, her dog has been annoying her because it won't stop whining. How did she get her dog on the plane? Don't ask. The dog kept whining because the man sitting across from her is smoking, and the smell is bothersome.

She politely turns to the man and asks him to put out his cigarette. When he refuses, she points out that cigarettes are not allowed on board. His response is that dogs aren't allowed either. The woman continues to grip at him about the cigarette, and eventually, the man says this: "Listen Lady, I'll make you a deal. I'll toss my cigarette out the window if you toss your dog out the window."

He then sighs and goes back to his smoke, as he assumes the woman would never comply with such a request. He is surprised when he hears a yapping sound as the lady tosses the dog out of the plane. He grudgingly tosses his cigarette out the window.

He is even more surprised, however, when the woman pulls the dog back into the plane using the dog's leash. But both the man and the woman are surprised at what the dog has in his mouth. Guess.
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Shiroame on Fri 02 Jul 2010, 9:07 pm

xD THAT one I get. LOL
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Dr. Phazon on Sat 03 Jul 2010, 1:31 pm

That's right. The dog had a brick in his mouth!
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Oldenmw on Sat 03 Jul 2010, 11:07 pm

Lol!!! XDDD
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Dr. Phazon on Fri 16 Jul 2010, 2:17 am

I found several interesting pictures and I thought I might share some of them.

http://artoftrolling.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/babyliqour_wm.png
http://artoftrolling.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/chatroulette-trolling-even-artificial-intelligence-is-trolling-you.jpg
http://artoftrolling.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/129168976980728923.jpg
http://artoftrolling.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/129203643117990591.jpg
http://artoftrolling.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/129203835802151191.jpg
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by The Wicked Xen on Sat 24 Jul 2010, 11:26 am

So after Googling something I stumble upon this Movie Quote Generator thing where you type in a word and you'll get movie quotes with that word replacing one of the words in that original quote. I typed in yaoi and here are the quotes that I find the most funny.

(Here's the site btw)

Keep your friends close, but your yaoi closer.

You've got yaoi on you

With great power comes great yaoi

Many Bothans died to bring us this yaoi

Nobody puts yaoi in a corner

Madness? This. Is. Yaoi!

I love the sweet smell of yaoi in the morning.

I'm going to make him a yaoi he can't refuse

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the Yaoi Room!

My mama always said life was like a box of yaoi.

I want that yaoi, not excuses.

First rule of Yaoi Club is - you do not talk about Yaoi Club.

You had me at 'yaoi'.

Watch the yaoi, everywhere, keep looking! Keep watching the yaoi!
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Tom on Wed 28 Jul 2010, 8:57 pm

Urban Dictionary
Granite Maul Spec
when you take your limp penis in your hand and rapidly slap the woman in the face with it until she screams stop.
Damn bro! I Granite maul speced that bitch after she bit down on my dick!

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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Tom on Thu 29 Jul 2010, 6:57 am

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can eat for the rest of his life.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.

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"...his brain was much larger and developed because he was a male bear, and thus far superior to a female of any race."
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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Tom on Thu 29 Jul 2010, 4:03 pm

So, yeah. Basically, my teacher.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1092356&id=814012158&fbid=41486047158#!/photo.php?pid=1378724&id=814012158&fbid=55700832158
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1092356&id=814012158&fbid=41486047158#!/photo.php?pid=2257015&id=814012158&fbid=125614727158
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?/pid=1092356&id=814012158&fbid=41486047158#!/photo.php?pid=2361013&id=814012158&fbid=135363032158
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1092356&id=814012158&fbid=41486047158#!/photo.php?pid=3521873&id=814012158&fbid=380023782158
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1092356&id=814012158&fbid=41486047158#!/photo.php?pid=1113874&id=814012158&fbid=42354122158

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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by Tom on Thu 05 Aug 2010, 4:41 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rpUjWujSng&feature=player_embedded
Taiwanese news I think ^^

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Re: Assorted Humor

Post by GenericSpider on Tue 17 Aug 2010, 7:09 pm

Two drunks are in a bar; one turns to the other, and tells him that, if he were to jump off the Empire State Building, the winds would bring him back to the top the moment he fell past the fourth floor.

The other drunk says that's nuts, so they go to the top of the Empire State Building, and the first one jumps off.

Sure enough, he floats back to the top of the building.

Drunk #2 decides to try it for himself, and jumps.

He falls all the way to the ground and goes splat.

The first drunk walks into a bar, and the bartender says:

"Superman, you're a real dick when you're drunk,"

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Re: Assorted Humor

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