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Madoka MST Experiment: Stardust the Stupid Wizard

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20120208

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Madoka MST Experiment: Stardust the Stupid Wizard Empty Madoka MST Experiment: Stardust the Stupid Wizard




Sayaka: Hi whoever is reading this! I'm proud to report that my brain made much healing...I mean is fully healed.

Kyoko: Careful Sayaka; wouldn't want that tiny brain of yours to get damaged again.

Sayaka: Aw, you do care. Don't worry; Mami told me all about how hopeless you were without me.

Kyoko: Sh-shut up! That's not true!

Sayaka: And that you couldn't even snark properly while I was gone

Kyoko: Can we just get this riff going already?

Mami: -clears throat-

Kyoko: Oh, yeah, forgot to mention: Melon-y here is going to be in all future riffs. I'm sure it'll nice to have such a....talented riffer with us. She'll know doubt bring LARGE ASSETS to the riffing process. It'll be like a double whammy of...

Mami: Kyoko, they get it, I'm talented.

Kyoko: Yeah, "talented". Anyway, we were going to riff the next chapter of that silly Bible Fanfic today; but we discovered a comic that just had to be riffed. It's called "Stardust the Super Wizard"; and someone was nice enough to put all of the pages online.

Homura: Lets get this over with.
--

Spoiler:

Beware of his interplanetary science! It far exceeds our puny planetary science!

The description of that crime fighting equipment sounds naughty.

Who exactly are the fifth column? Sounds like the name of a rock band.

This comic makes conquering South America sound easy.



Spoiler:


Mami: Now he has television rays and... whatever "tubular spacial on accelerated supersonic light waves" is?

Asia and Europe are...aggressor nations? Where do I even begin?

Every factory in America? How many people are even in this organization?

Probably all the people. The invasion will end when they find out the population of the United States consists entirely of Fifth Column agents.


Spoiler:


I didn't know demons came from Mars. Or flew around in space ships.

Well, these aren't regular demons; these are SKY demons! Completely different thing.

And now his powers include mind reading and random space vapor manipulation.

His plan seems to require these "sky demons" to be unable to distinguish between the Earth, and a giant ball of gas. I seriously doubt it's going to work.

Spoiler:


Shadow transfer rays? Seriously? Well, at least it looks like Earth now.

Now his idiotic plan is totally going to work! Long as they don't do something SILLY, like try to land; or make contact with their totally-not-Nazi allies.

Don't worry! he probably has the magical ability to decrease the intelligence of his enemies.

"the South American nations" that the author didn't even bother to name sure fell quickly.

They must all be Fifth Column agents as well. Cause everyone is. Speaking of which, whatever happened to that Sixth Column he was going to make? He said he was going to form one; then ran off to go play around with magical moon gas.

Spoiler:


At this point, I'd be more suprised if he didn't have the ability to fling people into space.

So after carefully crafting a decoy Earth out of moon gas and bullshit illusion powers; his solution to the Fifth Column is... just fling 'em into space? Well, it is the most simple solution.

Yet for some reason he apparently only flung the spies into space, and left the actual invasion force untouched. Even though he seems perfectly capable of flinging them into space too.

Maybe he forgot about them? I mean, he seems to have already forgotten about his "sixth column" idea. Clearly he has a short attention span.

Spoiler:

When did Stardust set up a "ray screen"? I'm sure he didn't do it on-panel.

Is it just me, or does setting up the dead bodies of the fifth column members to be shot to pieces by their allies seem needlessly cruel? I mean; wouldn't they already be dead from being flung into space?

Oh god, what is he going to do to those poor children?

Judging from their faces; he's turning them into freakish monsters from the depths of the uncanny valley.


Spoiler:


"Hey kids; I'm some stranger you've never seen before! Heres some godlike power; now go kill people for America!" "Sure! sounds like fun!"

This page reminds me way too much of the magical girl system. Except that magical girls at least get a choice rather than just being drafted into service.

Why are all the kids he picked blond, white children?

Yeah; I thought the people he was fighting were supposed to be Nazis?



Spoiler:


I wonder how those children are going to explain this to their parents?

"Oh, hey mom and dad; that mysterious new club I joined? Oh that's, um....a fishing club. Oh, the lightning bolts coming from my hands? They're, um...puberty powers! All the kids are getting them these days!"

And of course, Stardust flies off into space instead of facing the consequences of his actions. If the comic didn't end where it did; we'd get to see what happens when you give children with sociopathic tendencies; and ridiculous super-powers.

...what happens?

They take over the world; rule it with an iron fist; and steal all the world's candy. Good job, Stardust. You are truly an idiot the most remarkable man that ever lived
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