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Rachel 'n Pals Continue Noel's Assignment: BlazBlue Fanfic Riff

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Rachel 'n Pals Continue Noel's Assignment: BlazBlue Fanfic Riff

Title: BlazBlue Divine Trigger Next Phase
Mood: Bored

Hello, simpletons. I am Rachel Alucard, and someone thought it would be a good idea to send me documents of some silly girl overreacting to a piece of fiction. Then reacting much more understandably to some perverse comic, though the catatonia was still a bit much. Anyway, I have lots of time and loops to kill, so I might as well take a look at this story - or more specifically, its sequel.

Set a few years after 'Divine Trigger'... that's pretty much all the plot given. I suppose Terumi's plotting something and Kazuma's working on stopping said plot. You can already tell just how fulfilling a read this will be. Ready your tea, this shall be painful.

Thetrueazure: Well guys guys after God knows how many months Blazblue Divine Trigger - Next phase is coming back

And already I'm bored of this. Nago, Gii, take care of it.


G:Why us?

N:Um. Well, anyway, I suppose it's up to us, Gii. We cannot let our princess down!

Kazuma: Awesome!

Ritsu: 'bout time

G: Question! Who's Ritsu?

N: Someone from a completely different story, I believe.

G: Oh. Why's she commenting here?

N: Why is this segment here to begin with?

Thetrueazure: Well anyways, if you guys have new character ideas, you know the drill.

G: Uh, what? Drill?

N: It would seem this author makes a habit of making others think up characters in his place, then placing them in the story regardless of whether or not they fit or how much plot relevance they have.

G: Oh. That can't be good, can it?

Name, age, description, personality, nox nyctores, fighting style, backstory, (Also a new thing: Ally or enemy.)

Thetrueazure: If any of you guys had already sent me an OC just put their name in the reviews. Until then this is Thetrueazure signing out!

G: Do you think if we suggested someone stronger than Kazuma, we'd be rejected?

N: we should probably wait until the author actually returns to this story before we try.

N: Well, not much much of a captivating 'chapter', now was it? Hopefully the actual story will make up for this lacklustre beginning.

G: I kinda doubt that...

Thetrueazure: Hey guys here is the first chapter of BBDT Next Phase (Rewritten I might add)

Kazuma: Yeah because of a plagiarism incident involving our prequel from one of our reviewers we had to pull this story off.

N: Oooh~ A plagiarism incident? Did ASW call the author out on his blatant recycling of the True End?

G: Huh?

N: Next lines, please!

Thetrueazure: Yep, and after about 5 months we've decided to put this story back up.

Ritsu: So without further ado the first chapter of Blazblue Divine Trigger-Next Phase.

Disclaimer: Same thing (Come on seriously if I really owned the franchise there would be alot of changes.)

G: For the worse, no doubt!

N: Such a lazy disclaimer. If he were in actual danger of copywright breach, he would laughed out of the executioner's room!

G: Huh?

N: Courtroom.

It has been a few years since Hazama revealed himself to be Terumi, one of the Six Heroes who betrayed them during the time of the black beast. After the confrontation Kazuma decided to become a vigilante in order to find out more info on what Terumi is planning, so far he's been hitting dead ends. Little does he know...Terumi's plan involves him too.

N: Oh, how positively chilling!

G: Would being a vigilante really help much in trying to figure Terumi out?

At the NOL Research Department

Inside the Research Department, everyone was hard at work doing diagnostics on what happen at the NOL base in Kagutsuchi one person in particular was looking over some of the reports. The man had long flowing silver hair, and extremely feminine face, sapphire blue eyes, he wore a silver shirt with a scientist coat around it and wore long jeans.

N: Mm, it appears Sephiroth became a scientist~

"Um...Excuse me sir." The man turned to see a female scientist who had green eyes and blue hair with a clipboard in hand "You have a visitor, Hazama, head of the Intelligence Department. Shall I bring him in?"

The man smiled "Of course, bring him to my office." He looked at her with a confused look "I haven't seen you around here. Are you new here?"

G: I think the pretty boy had more description. I at least know what he's wearing!

N: I sure hope these OC's will prove to be very interesting and likeable characters. We all know the current roster is severely lacking...

The scientist stood up straight and saluted him "Yes Sir. Miharu Fujimoto, I just transfered here yesterday."

G: Oh hey, I never knew scientists saluted each other!

He waved his hand at the scientist "Is that so? Well It's a pleasure to meet you Miharu. My name is Slifer Anderson, Head of the Research department."#

G: And who goes around with the name 'Slifer', anyway! What kinda name is that?

N: A rather godly name that few humans are gifted with.

Slifer said as Miharu started to relax"Now that we are properly introduced, can you please escort Captain Hazama to my office?"

Miharu slightly blushed "O-Of course sir!" Miharu ran off to escort Hazama to Slifer's office.

G: Hey Nago, why's she blushing? What did he say?

N: Don't you remember? Whenever a human male says they are 'properly introduced', the human female treats it as unofficial engagement.

G: Humans are silly.

At Ronan Gai

Kazuma was walking around the village taking in it's beauty "Finally I'm able to relax from catching criminals for a day." He then stopped and looked around "Then again, if Rachel's watching me, she'll make sure I can't relax. Well I guess I'll enjoy it for awhile."

N: Nice to know milady diligently shows this fool his place.

Kazuma was about to start moving again until he caught something move really fast out of the corner of his eye. He went to go look at what it was but it was already gone, he shook it off as nothing and continued to walk in the direction of the lake.

G: Oh look, an incredibly obvious sign that he's being followed yet doesn't notice!

N: Despite recognising a much stealthier character was watching him from within a crowd.

However, hiding in one of the trees was a man who looked to be 18 but was a lot older.

N: All the young looking ones are always really seven hundred years old. It's like a generational defect.

He had shoulder length brown hair, jade eyes, he wore a black sleeveless thigh length top that reveals his upper back, two diagonal scars on his back, black elbow length arm warmers, a crow tattoo on his right arm,a long white scarf around his neck, black bondage pants with white stapes and black combat boots.

G: ..............W-what...?

N: Oh my~

G: Nago!

N: Let me enjoy the picture a moment longer before we mock his casual dress attire, okay?

"It can't be him." The man thought "Kuro?"

G: Kazuma, actually! If anyone, that should be your name!

N: That, or Bond.

G: ...

At the NOL Research Department

Slifer was typing on his computer until he heard a knock on his office door "Come in."

N: You can tell he was blogging his displeasure of this story.

G: Actually, seeing as he would have specifically applied, I think he would blog about his displeasure at not being the main character or something...

N: Why can't he just be happy with his looks?

Hazama walked through the door thanking Miharu for escorting him. When he closed the door, he took off his hat and bowed at Slifer "Ah Slifer it's been too long. How is your sister? Is she doing alright?"

N: "Oh yeah, I forgot she was kidnapped as your home burned to the ground AHAHA- Ah, sorry, wrong person."

G: ...None of you readers can hear this, but Nago's Hazama impersonation is the scariest thing I've ever heard!

"She's doing fine Hazama now what do you want?" Slifer was getting really irritated "I know you didn't come here just to socialize."

N: Poor Hazama. Can't even greet someone without pissing them off. No wonder he became so mean.

Hazama chuckled "Hehe, as perceptive as always Slifer." Hazama said "That's what I like about you. The reason why I'm here is that I have some info about Ragna The Bloodedge." This caught Slifer's attention.

"Go on."

N: "He has a long-lost sister who was kidnapped when his home was burned to the ground AHAHAHAHA"

G: Please stop it! Your making milady's treatment look easy to take!

R: Is that a challenge, Gii?

N&G: Mila-

"It appears Ragna is in Kagutsuchi. He is looking for something or someone." Hazama said "However that's all the information I have. Now, I have a favor to ask."

Well, that information is incredibly useless. I'm almost suspecting that you're slipping up in your effort.

...Oh, I suppose the slow minded among you would like an explanation for my return. I was bored.

"What is it?" Slifer hated what Hazama does, he gives him useful information and then he gets him to do favors

'Useful'? Ragna hasn't left Kagutsuchi at all, and he would have been spotted by people eventually. Honestly, doesn't the internet exist right now?

Hazama's expression suddenly became serious "I need you to get rid of someone for me." Hazama handed him a picture of Kazuma "His name is Kazuma Ishimaru. The reason why I want you to get rid of him is-" Slifer held out his hand signaling him to stop

"I honestly don't care for the reason."

Let us congratulate the author on not bothering to find a reason to want his character dead. After all, it's not like he wields a fake grimoire, so why have him replace Ragna for these specific events?

"Then you'll do it?"

Slifer sighed "As much as I hate to, yes."

Let's not expect a reason for his accepting of this assignment. Perhaps looking like Sephiroth makes him the strongest person ever?

...*Chuckle* I must admit, I'm quite good at making jokes.

"Excellent, and don't worry, I'll send my assistant to help with the matter." And with that Hazama walked out.

Outside in the hallway, Hazama took out what looked to be a communicator "Hello...yeah it's me Sergei...it looks like you'll be able to exact your revenge."

And here's the second character with an apparent grudge against Kazuma. Lovely.

Back to Ronan Gai

Kazuma was over at the village lake under a tree staring out at the water thinking about what happened that day

"Power that threatens mankinds existence." Kazuma thought "What did Master Hakumen mean by that?"

That your sue-ness will destroy this world as you twist it around your very existence. Why is this hard to figure out?

He then heard something move in the tree above him. When he looked up he say someone falling, he didn't have time to react and the person landed on top of him.

"Huh? That didn't hurt as much as I expected it to." The female voice said

Feel free to pray that this character isn't another needless addition to pander to some person who can't understand that any role they play here can be better done by someone else.

"M-My back." The girl looked down to see that she landed on Kazuma "Can you please get off of me?"

The girl shot up quickly and started to bow furiously " I'm sorry, I didn't realize that there was someone underneath me when I fell!"

And she is clearly poor of vision.

"That's OK, it wasn't your fault anyways."

Excellent logical reasong there, Kazuma.

Kazuma got a good look at her

I suppose the absence of that weak little girl must mean you ditched her and are now free to ogle girls as you please. Good for her, really.

she stood around 5'1" with blue eyes, black hair and clothing a lot similar to Bang's "Who are you?"

Clothing similar to that smelly, sweaty man? So her chest is completely exposed? How uncouth.

Thetrueazure: Wow! First chapter done in one and a half days! That's a new record!

And far from impressive, but it is an amazing indicator of quality.

Ritsu: Your full of it.

Thetrueazure: I can pull you from the tournament.

Ritsu: touché

I commend you on your choice to reference events readers may not know because they choose not to read stories from a particular work of fiction.

Kazuma: Well anyways, we want to thank you guys for supporting us on this story. Truth be told we thought this story was a lost cause, but with your support we were able to put it back on fanfiction and for that we thank you.

What fools went and convinced this master fool he was not, in fact, a fool?

Kazuma: Next chapter: So much for my relaxing day! I now got pulled into a sparring match with Bang's apprentice, this'll be fun. (Someone kill me...)
Next time: The Gravity of the Situation

"Phoenix Flame Activate!"

Because end-of-episode segments that sounds like it was ripped from a children's show works amazingly well in a literary medium.

Well, that was exceedingly dull. I tire of this story. Nago, Gii, take care of it.

N&G: Y-yes, Princess...

N: Ow... Okay, here we go...

Thetrueazure: I forget how long have I ignored this story?


Asuka: Only if you get past me! Thetrueazure does not own Blazblue, only Kazuma and Miharu. Other OCs belong to their respective owners.

G: I sure hope he keeps on ignoring it. It's been how long since this story updated?

Ch.2 Gravity of the Situation

"Wait, say that again." Kazuma stood up and looked at Izumi who huffed at him

"I'll say it again." Izumi pointed at herself again "My name is Izumi Nomura, Bang's loyal apprentice!"

N: I thought the Kaka and the cute little boy were his apprentices? Where did this chest-baring girl come from?

"I kind of figured." Kazuma muttered to himself

"Huh? Did you say something?" Izumi asked Kazuma as he smiled

"No it's nothing, but may I ask what were you doing?" Kazuma asked as he rubbed his back in pain.

N: Is he supposed to be implying an insult? Where is the insult?

G: Bang's apprentice, maybe?

N: But his chest! Oh, wait, he thinks this Izumi girl is weak because he defeated Bang in one attack, doesn't he?

Izumi laughed nervously "Well, I was training with Master Bang, and I kind of got carried away. Hehe."

Kazuma was about to say something when he heard rustling in the tree behind him, he looked up and saw a familiar face.

"Bang?" Kazuma said as Izumi's face brightened

G: How big is this tree, exactly? What were they doing in that tree?

N: Maybe Izumi's chest is exposed because they were-

G: No!

"Master Bang!"

"Ah, Izumi, what happened?" Bang landed in front of her.

"I was practicing the technique like you said, but I slipped and fell on that man." Izumi explained and pointed to Kazuma.

N: What technique requires you to hide a tree?

G: Aren't they ninjas?

Bang turned towards him and was surprised to see who it was "Kazuma?"


"What are you doing here?" Bang asked him

"Well I was taking a break from my vigilante work when she landed on my back." Kazuma explained

"Wait, master you know him?" Izumi asked as Bang laughed loudly making Kazuma cover his ears.

"Of course I do! I met him a few years ago! He's a great fighter." Bang said

G: "Some may go as far as to call him 'overpowered'!"

N: Gii... your voice... can I marry it?

G: Um... why don't you have the real thing?

N: Don't mind of I do!

Izumi looked at Kazuma "Really?"

"You could say that." Kazuma said

"Wow!" Izumi yelled "You must be really strong if Master Bang said you were a great fighter! Can we have a sparing match!"

"Say what?"

N&G: I concur. What?

"A sparring match, I want to see how strong you are!" Izumi started to hop around and punch the air

N: Is that what she said last time?

G: I dunno...

"I don't know." Kazuma said as Izumi appeared in front of him, making him jump

"Oh come on, Pleeeeaasse!" Izumi begged him

Kazuma sighed "I'm going to regret this." Kazuma looked at her "Alright."

N: What is there to regret? It's just a sparring match, right? And he's so stupid powerful it shouldn't take more than a millisecond!

Izumi couldn't contain her happiness as she jumped up and down "Yay! I can't believe I'm going to spar with a strong opponent!"

G: This sounds exactly like another OC girl I read about. Now all she needs is a secret love for yuri and the power to turn her hair blonde and voila!

N: Sounds like a very silly character.

Kazuma started to chuckle "You're a lot like your master."

N: "Your chest is just as manly as Bang's!"

G: My mind's eye. It burns. Why, Nago, why?

"Hey, can we start now?" Izumi asked

"Sorry, not right now, I have to do a couple of things first and then we'll have our match." Kazuma said as he started to walk away. He turned his head to see Izumi following him "Did you hear me?"

N: This interruption had better be important, hm?

Izumi nodded "I heard you; I just thought I could help you. You know, as payment for falling on you."

Kazuma sighed "Alright fine."

G: I wonder what she would do to repay the impossible event she kicked his ass?

Over at Miss Litchi's health clinic

"It's been a while Kazuma, how have you been?" Litchi placed a cup of tea in front of Kazuma and Izumi.

N: Oh, not too bad. I've just been effortlessly beating people up and yelling about phoenixes and Ragnaroks and stuff."

"I've been alright." Kazuma drank his tea "Oh, that's right, Litchi, this is Izumi." Kazuma introduced Izumi.

"It's nice to meet you, my name is Litchi."

"It's a pleasure." Izumi bowed towards her

G: So why wouldn't Izumi know about the woman her master constantly stalks an obsesses over?

N: Real manly ninjas keep their private affairs a secret from everybody!

"Kazuma." Litchi said "How's Noel?"

N: Oh yeah, they were in love for some reason, weren't they?

Kazuma remained silent for a few minutes "She's back in the NOL, she insisted that she return so that I would be safe." Kazuma took another sip of his tea "I worry about her, guess it can't be helped." Kazuma smiled slightly

G: Um... why does that girl returning to the NOL magically make Kazuma safe, again?

N: We need some love drama in this story, Gii!

"It's alright to worry." Litchi said "That's just what makes us human."

G: I worry for my safety 24/7 and I'm clearly not human!

N: Ssh, Gii!

"Yeah your right." Kazuma finished his tea and set the cup down and stood up "I should be heading out; I know you have people to help."

Litchi smiled "Don't worry about it. Come and visit again." Kazuma and Izumi left the clinic and were walking through Orient Town.

G:... So, um, was that it? This is what Kazuma needed to do?

Izumi decided to break the silence "Who's Noel? Your girlfriend?"

N: "If by 'girlfriend', you mean 'girl I interacted with for a total of half an hour over two days', then yes, we are most definitely boyfriend/girlfriend."

Kazuma chuckled a bit "You could say that. You see, when we first met I had no idea where I came from, heck I didn't even know my own name."

"You had amnesia?" Kazuma nodded "Wow."

"Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable isn't it?" Kazuma said "Well then, let's go do our sparring match."

"Yay!" Izumi yelled as they headed back to Ronin-Gai

G: I still don't know why Kazuma had to talk with the doctor for five minutes in a separate area of Kagutsuchi before fighting. I think it might have been quicker the other way around.

"Ah! You returned!" Bang said as Kazuma and Izumi walked inside.

"Yeah, I just had to talk to someone. Now we can have our practice match." Kazuma said

N: "You wouldn't know her Bang, just a Chinese doctor with massive jubblies and a bug fetish."

G: EW!

"OK, meet me in the sparring room." Izumi said as she started to run towards the room, but tripped on her own feet and fell on her face.

N: Hahaha random clumsiness!

"Uh, are you OK?" Kazuma asked as Izumi shot up and dusted herself off.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you at the sparring room." Izumi said before she walked off

Kazuma arrived at the sparring room where Izumi stood there waiting for him.

G: Well that was necessary!

"You're here." Izumi said

Kazuma smiled "Like I had a choice." Kazuma took his battle stance "I hope your ready, because I don't plan on holding back."

N: Kazuma's quite the meanie. It's just a simple sparring match against someone who's probably inferior to her master. Whom you can defeat in one hit.

Izumi smiled and took her battle stance "That's what I want!" Izumi jumped in the air and delivered a flying kick towards Kazuma who brought his arms up in an X shape, blocking the kick. As she landed Kazuma attempted to do a roundhouse kick, which was blocked by her gauntlets.

"Not bad." Kazuma said

N: Here comes the flaming critical attack thing!

"I learned from my Master!" Izumi pushed his leg off of her and delivered a right hook which connected to his face.

G: Fuh Kanji GET!

N: But seriously, why is she so much better than Bang? Does exposing your breasts really make you so powerful?

G: Litchi was onto something, after all!

Kazuma became dazed which gave Izumi a chance to kick Kazuma a couple of times in the stomach.


"Huh, come on! I want a good match!" Izumi pouted as Kazuma shook the pain away.

N: Let's hope there's an explanation for Kazuma's sudden drop in ability. Not that it isn't welcome, but inconsistencies are terrible!

"Alright then." Kazuma cracked his neck "Here I come!" Kazuma ran towards Izumi and threw two quick punches towards Izumi who blocked them. Little did she know, Kazuma kicked her in the stomach, sending her back a couple of steps.

N&G: ...

N: She... didn't notice getting kicked in the stomach and staggering backwards?

G: Even Tager would notice something like that!

"OK, I'd say we're even." Izumi laughed a bit

N: Inexplicably.

"Alright, let's- Guah!" Kazuma fell to his knees, his body felt like it was on fire "Wha, what's going on! My body feels like it's on fire!"

G: Thank you Kazuma, we needed the fire-like feeling established a second time!

Izumi ran over to Kazuma "Kazuma! Are you OK!"

"You are growing weaker!" A voice said inside of his head "You must get stronger!" Kazuma couldn't bear it anymore and passed out.

"Kazuma! Oh god, Master! Help!" Izumi shook Kazuma in an attempt to wake him up, but it was no use.

G: Geez, all this guy ever does is faint and pull power-ups out of his ass!

N: Indeed. More characters should strive to be like this man if they seek true power.

Kazuma slowly opened his eyes and saw Izumi sitting at his side with a worried look on her face.

"You're awake." Izumi said "What happened?"

"I have no clue." Kazuma wondered why he just suddenly fell to the floor "I was fine one second and then I just fell to the floor."

N: "It's just something I learned to deal with. It's a daily thing, really."

"Well at least you're OK." Izumi smiled at him and stood up "My master said that you're welcome to rest here for a couple of days."

"Thanks, I appreciate it." Kazuma smiled at her.

Izumi blushed slightly "I-It's nothing. If you'll excuse me." Izumi bowed and walked out of the room, leaving Kazuma deep in thought.

G: Does every female human have to blush whenever a man thanks them?

N: We already established humans are silly, Gii.

"What the hell happened back there? It was like my body was thrown into an inferno." Kazuma wondered as he smelt an overwhelming scent of roses in the air "Care to explain Rachael?"


N&G: Ah! M-milady! Why are y-


N&G: ...

Could you please move aside so I may finish this?

"My, no hello? How terribly rude of you." Rachael said with a sly smile "To answer your question, I have no idea what is going on. All I have to say is that you must not use your power too often."

Yes, of course I have absolutely no idea. That's why I shall recommend not using your power, even though none of it had been used when you collapsed -again-.

Oh silly me, I misread, this 'Rachael' is simply another random person.


"I have a feeling that Terumi's plan involves you as well." Rachael said as Kazuma stood up.

Brilliant deduction, Rachael. Next you'll tell me Relius will conduct a science experiment on his cousin next.

"What do you mean!" Kazuma asked as Rachael giggled

"My, your temper reminds me of him. Even back then you still have a temper, this one is just more…controlled." Rose petals started to surround her "I must take my leave now, please remember my words." Rachael vanished in a flurry of rose petals.

Oh Rachael, your attempts at being cryptic are still unrefined and sloppy.

Ritsu: A short chapter, you guys are wondering where Azure is. He's hiding from an angry Kazuma

Thetrueazure: Pst! Is Kazuma around?

Ritsu: No.

Thetrueazure: Phew! OK, well I'm sorry for the long wait. I was just updating my Yugioh fanfic and never got a chance to work on this. Anyways, stay tuned for the next chapter.

And these segments are still very unwelcome.

Kazuma: Hey guys, I'm still wondering what Rachael meant about me being apart of Terumi's plan. Argh! I never really did like her vague explanations ,Anyways, As I leave Ronin-Gai, I run into someone who mistakes me for someone else.

Next Time: Winds of Destiny

"I'm sorry, did you just say brother?"

Also, more childish next episode previews.

Well, that's all that has been written so far. No doubt we are all wallowing in our despair at this, but I'm sure it will be finished at some point. Not that there's anything to see, Divine Trigger has evolved from a mere hijacking of the plot to a giant pretty boy convention.

N: Actually, I think I can see the upside to that... ow!

G: I thought it was a terrible story too, Princess!

Quieten down. Now, finish this, I'm bored.

N&G: (I think we get that, milady...) of course, milady!

N: The-

G: End!
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