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Tenshi Riffing Service: Hayate X Blade Royale

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20120401

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Tenshi Riffing Service: Hayate X Blade Royale




Hayate: Hi everyone! This is Magical Girl Tenchi-Moon here, and my sidekick, Lawson Mask here! Together we shall fight the forces of bad fanfiction with our magical -nailbat'd- ...ow.

Ayana: Don't bring me into your fantasies! And why am I the sidekick?

Jun: I agree; making Ayana your sidekick is silly....clearly she'd be better for the role of your mysterious helper who comes in to save you from the monster of the week; due to her secret admiration for you.

That's brilliant! She can be my Tuxedo Mask!

Of course, you'd also be reincarnated lovers...

-gets out Mr. Nailbat-

...but I think we should get back to the fic!

Right! The fic we're reviewing today is called "Hayate X Blade Royale"! It has a new person coming to Tenchi Academy; just like that other fic we did! Cept this time it's a male!

THAT'S always a good sign. Lets get this over with already; the introduction is long enough.

Any and all name brand songs (I used them while I wrote for certain parts before I edited and posted) food, drink, etc. are only for the purpose of entertainment. I DO NOT own any of these and are not used as advertisements. Honeatly i was probably eating, drinking, listening, etc. said products at the time and used them to ill in blanks. Please subscribe, comment, and most of all enjoy!

Why do fanfic writers feel the need to post uneccessary disclaimers?

Tenchi Academy's First Male Idiot!

I prefer the female idiots.

It was a suprisingly nice day out for the opening ceremony at Tenchi Academy. As preperations for the Kaichou's usual speech, she held a small meeting with Shizuku and Tatewake. During which time the students also began preparing for for another long speech which would eventually venture off topic... again.

Hayate: Suprisingly nice? Why is nice weather suprising?

Cause the author is an idiot.

"As one final announcement to the both of you." Hitsugi said as she leaned back in the chair behind her desk.

Final announcement? OH MY GOD SHE'S DYING!

"My little brother will be here soon to help with some of the problems we've been having recently. Also with the student council and security purposes as well." Takewake's face sours in response to the news given.

Ayana: Oh look, it's suddenly in present tense.

IT MUST BE TIME TRAVEL!

"You mean /him/!" She shouted in displeasure.

She's so displeased she's using formatting that doesn't exist.

"Yes /him/. Do you have any problems with that?" Hitsugi asked.

Do I have a problem with a male going to an all girl's school? Yes.

Hayate: What's wrong with it?

Because an all girl's school is a place to nurture forbidden romance between girls; and bringing in a male would only ruin the chance for BEAUTIFUL YURI SUBTEXT!

NOT THE YURI SUBTEXT!

"Besides that, he is only here as help and i clarified it with him before and will again when he arrives." She answered before a questioned had been placed.

WE DON'T NEED HELP FROM THAT YURI RUINING....YURI RUINER!

"If it goes any further than that-" she proceeded to add on as she leaned forward in her desk. She then opens the top right drawer of her desk and pulls out and places a moldy potato on a plate onto her desk.

Oh look, past tense and present tense in the same paragraph. What a suprise.

"he will have to eat this."

"Where'd that come from!" Shizuku and Tatewake yelled out in shock, simotaniously.

What does simotaniously mean?

"Oh... its moldy." Hitsugi notices.

"I cant very well kill him now, can I?" She asks outloud.

Noone would have to know.

"You don't know until you try Hitsugi-san." Tatewake immediately responded.
"Hmmm.." Hitsugi pondered as she picked up the potato and stared at it. She then stands up from her chair and launches the potato at Tatewake.

Who exactly is this "Tatewake" person?


"It was a gift!" She yelled as the potato slammed into Tatewake's face.

"Then why did you throw it at me!" Tatewake asked as she laid on the floor crying.

"Because you bored me." Hitsugi replied. She looks up at the clock on the wall.

And now the tense changes between sentences.

And who exactly is this person pretending to be the class president? And here I thought her response to boredom was trolling; rather than throwing things at "Tatewake".

"Well it's just about that time now. Let's go Shizuku." She then heads out of the door with Shizuku.

"Why am I so unloved" Tatewake sobbed to herself.

A town car rounds the corner and a boy, laying in the back seat, asleep, wearing a black jacket, a white button down t-shirt, black pants, blue colored shoes, and fingerless gloves, rolls off and onto the floor of the car. The thud wakes him up and he starts to get up to sit back down. The car then comes to a quick halt and the boy is jutted forward and his head slams into the metal divider of the car.

And the Stu has arrived; no doubt to instantly woo every female he comes into contact with.

"Sir, are you ok?" The driver asked with a concerned tone of voice.

"Yeah i'm ok. This is why I told sis I would walk. I am definitely not a car person." He replies.

"Thanks for the concern though" He aadded on.

"That is why I wanred you to put on your seatbelt before your nap master Sangoran." The driver lectured as he began to drive the car again.

Sangoran? HEY! HE HAS THE SAME NAME AS THE AUTHOR!

What an unexpected coincidence.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. There's no need to bite my head off about it you know." He then sits up in his seat, fixes his black jacket collar andleans forward in the seat.

"So how long until we get there anyway?" He asks the driver as the car comes to a stop.

Didn't the car already stop?

"About five seconds ago." He answered. "Good luck to you and and ms. Amachi as well."

He says as sangoran opens the door and exits. He then leans into the doorway and looks at the driver.

"You got it. Oh, thanks for the lift." He says as he backs away from the car and shuts the door. The car pulls away and Sangoran walks up to the sign that read 'Tenchi' on it and leans up against the side of it, his body facing the where are you sis." He asked himself.

And he forgot to add in quotation marks. Or any indication he was speaking. Unless the whole paragraph was him narrating his actions.

-clings to Ayana-

What the hell are you doing?

We must protect our beautiful yuri subtext from male OCs!

THERE IS NO YURI SUBTEXT! -uses Mr. Nailbat-

-nailbat'd- Ow. I guess I'm going to have to work harder to unlock your dere side... -nailbat'd again-

That's the end of the first chapter. Who is this mysterious douchebag? Will he be an obnoxious a-hole? Will the sheer horridness of the fic break our minds? Will Ayana admit that she's a tsundere? Be sure to tune in to the next exciting episode of Magical Baka Maiden Tenchi Moon! Same baka time; same baka channel!

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