The Completely Random Make-It-Up-As-You-Go-Along Thread

So yeah. Standard etiquette still applies, despite the fact that nothing is determined, and it's probably a good idea to refrain from making vast decisions that people would probably have brought up by now. Other than that, schizotech, ho!

Just drop in whenever. All characters are advised to have a modicum of rudeness and ADD just so that they can unfreeze themselves. XD

And because we won't get started otherwise...
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An apprentice mage was taking a break. Given that they had something of an addiction to time-based magics, this was a substantially longer break than their teacher intended but... they could go fuck themselves. Even though that would be weird in the extreme. For her break, said mage had chosen to go for a walk along the bizarrely silver beach, eventually sitting on the first pier she came across and allowing the normal flow of time to resume as she started flicking through the leather-bound tome in her hands.

Like many magic users, she was somewhat eccentric. At least, that's what her appearance indicated: knee-length white hair with an implausibly cyan strip about thirty degrees to the right, a painfully, violently green robe open down the middle, and an equally painful-looking bikini. Well, it was a warm beach...

Walking down this beach was what appeared to be a teenage girl in a simple Chinese-style dress. However, she was wearing a leather mask, several nails were impaled in her skin, and most tellingly, she had a large metal pinwheel attached to her spine.

She seemed to be staring at her bare feet as she walked.

The apprentice glanced upwards and her eyes met the... weird sight. Had they had a traffic accident? Fallen into a factory? Were they the bastard offspring of a robot and a flesh golem? So many mysteries, so little time!

Snapping her book shut and shoving it through the fabric of her robe and into some... weird storage thing that she really needed to expand one day (it could apparently fit a castle with enough practice, she just had a backpack), the mostly-white-haired-girl dashed over to the metal-impaled girl, sliding to a halt and grinning.

"What the fuck are you?" she demanded.

There they sit, four girls that have no idea about one another's worlds but they sit there regardless. There are six chairs but four are filled. There sat the blue-eyed squid girl Ika Musume as she drank a bit of her tea. She 'blecked' and sat the cup down onto the table.

Next to her, a pink-haired girl with piercing green eyes took a sip of her tea. Down it went onto the table as she sighed. "Useless. Kurou is useless." she placed an open palm on the table and tapped against it with her fingers.

"Kurou?" Saya asked as she tried to take another drink of her own tea. Bleh, it went on the table. "Who's Kurou?"

"Useless." Al pointed out again as she sighed.

"Ahh, humans are useless, de geso!" Ika proclaimed as she downed a piece of shrimp.

"WRONG!" Nyaruko exclaimed as she took a bite out of her BLT (No it's not what you think it is). "Mahiro-san is great, he's love, and he's my looove~" she seemed lost in thought as she drooled.

Saya, Al, and Ika all stared straight at Nyaruko.

"Fuminori..." Saya mumbled as she took a bite off of a piece of.. peculiar looking meat.

And the four of them continued this tea party... on this white beach.

"Mind if I join?" a voice like an entire symphony orchestra--beautiful, yes, but at the same time loud and with a ridiculous amount of textures, tones, and sundry other acoustic attributes--asked, originating from somewhere above the neckline of a plain white t-shirt. Below this t-shirt there was a pair of jeans, wet near the hem due to, presumably the ocean.

And nothing else. Whoever was wearing them was female (probably, it was... kind of hard to tell what with the whole 'being invisible' thing) if the way the t-shirt was filled out was anything to go by and, as she would be the first to say, was actually quite beautiful. She'd have to be the first, the only way for anyone else, regardless of ability to see the invisible, to tell would be to feel her body.

Still, invisible beauty was better than a building-sized mass of ever-growing tentacles that turned all organic material to stone by its mere presence.

The metal-girl's head snapped up, revealing the mask covered all facial features except her eyes, which were glowing red. The wheel began spinning, blowing wind in the other person's face. "GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!"

It seemed they preferred walking on the beach... undisturbed.

"Huh?" Ika looked up from the table and back to the invisible looking thing that asked to join in on this little tea party. "I don't mind, de geso!" she smiled brightly and then went back to her shrimp.

Saya remained quiet as she was lost in thought. Oh, she then snapped out of it a second later. "I don't care." she then devoured the rest of the meat that was supposedly on her plate just a few seconds before. Wow, for someone of her stature, she could eat a lot.

"I don't care, just don't be annoying." that was all Al said as she sipped some of her tea for a second time. Down the cup went, onto the table. She spoke of 'annoying' and she mainly referred to Nyaruko who couldn't shut up for two seconds.

"Mahiro-san, Mahiro-san, Mahiro-san~" she chanted over and over with a mesmerized smile. She drooled onto the table, still trapped in her wonderland of Mahiro.

"Not until you tell me what you are!" the apprentice said, frowning and folding her arms. A little intimidation didn't scare her... and she'd had her head cut off before. Admittedly, she'd been warned by her teacher to not antagonise people to the point that rewinding the past thirty seconds of her existence was necessary but... that was boring! Boring, boring, boring!
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An invisible arm stretched over and flicked Nyaruko in the head, which was somewhat odd because the person it was attached to had just seated herself. It wasn't like being human for the moment meant she couldn't partially change back--hence the flicker of grey in the air--to do a couple of things...

"Who's Mahiro?"

"Ahh... huh?" she felt it, something hit her in the head. "Mahiro-san? Ah, the boy of my dreams! So kind, so cooooruuu and amazing! JUST what I need! It was love at first sight, you know?" she literally stood up on the table at that point and made all sorts of gestures. Nyaruko tried to convey how amazing he was, and words just weren't enough!

"Off the table, de geso!" Ika then moved two of her blue tentacles forward and threw Nyaruko off the table. With a thud, she hit her head on the sandy beach.

"ZANKO!" she said the name of something, a Gundam perhaps? Well, anyway, whatever that was it hurt. Wait, it was sand, that's what she hit her head off of. "Ah, Ika-chan, not cool! NOT COOL!" Nyaruko sat back in her seat and her eyes turned into menacing slits.

"I'm eating, de geso!" yelled Ika as she went back to, well, eating.

Saya ignored the two and just ate as she remembered the past.

Al's face turned red with anger and annoyance.

She'd explode any time now.

Without any fanfare whatsoever, a woman in a white dress appeared on the beach, casually sipping a cup of tea. Her long, wavy hair was bright bubblegum pink, and she wore a big red bow in it. She would've looked completely normal, albeit a little excentric, were it not for the fact that she was floating upside-down a few meters above the sand, sitting in a cross-legged stance and seemingly suffering no ill effects of gravity.

"Please don't mind me~" she giggled playfully, as she took another inverted sip. "I'm just here for the ambience~"

"I don't think we need an ambulance... yet," the invisible female said, glancing over her shoulder at the upside down girl and then turning her attention back to the 'tea party' in front of her. These people... weirdly, they seemed like they had something in common with her. Something in common with her besides being a her, that was, and even that wasn't certain. Could a unique silicate mass of tentacles and beaks be female?

"LEAVE ME.... ALONE!" With a sudden burst of speed, the girl lashed out, palm outstretched in what looked like a dashing palm strike. Suddenly, a large spike burst out of her palm, making her hand into a spear.

The mage attempted to duck but, having dispelled their vast speed a minute or two before, got speared through the face, spattering gore and blood all over the sand behind them. Weirdly, it spelled out 'fuck you, bitch' for all of ten seconds... before there was, inexplicably, no blood and the apprentice was brushing some sand off of her robes.

"What the fuck was that for? It hurts!"

"I don't think an ambulance would do any of you any good, ahah~" the rose haired woman giggled. "They'd ask too many questions~"

She took another sip, but as soon as the cup met her lips she pulled it back and looked at it dejectedly. "Aw, all gone." With a flick of her wrist, the tea cup flew about half a kilometer away, its impact being marked by a loud blast and the sudden appearance of a mushroom cloud. "So what kinda tea have you girls got~?" Rotating herself to be the right way up, the woman hovered closer to the eldritch tea party.

The girl was clearly confused. Someone who died and then was not dead seemed to be a new concept.

"I told you... LEAVE!" She leapt backwards using her giant spinning blades as propulsion, and then held her fist into the air. Her entire seemed to convulse and grow, and suddenly several small spikes launched out of it towards the time-mage.

This time, the blood spelled out 'nt until u tell me wat & u r nt ur bech'. Apparently, there was only a finite amount of gore and blood to try and spell out messages. The ampersand was also inexplicably upside down.

"Come on, just tell me already! You can tell this isn't working, moron!"

The group of four girls turned toward the now floating woman nearby. She was sitting upside down in mid-air, how the hell did someone do that?

"A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!" Nyaruko yelled as she walked forward and looked straight up at the floating girl in the air. "Uh... woowww." she doesn't know what to say or do. "Haha! Hey, can you get down from there? GONNA BE HARD to talk to you like this...!" she cupped her hands around her mouth just for the sake of it. Didn't need it, really.

"Earl grey." answered Al as she took a sip of her own. She breathed in and out, she counted backward from ten, nothing was working. She was literally this stressed. Calm down, she thought, just calm down and it'll all pass. At least it isn't 'Kurou' stupid.

Saya sighed. She wasn't too talkative, not now at least.

"Ebi ebi ebi, de geso..." and then instead of Nyaruko, Ika is trapped in a never ending mind-maze filled with shrimp.

Suddenly, a scantily dressed woman, in a vaguely nurse-inspired outfit and an impossible figure, appeared. "That... would be project Painwheel. Genetically engineered superweapon. Happy? Because even if you can't die, you're not going to beat her in a fight."

'Painwheel''s attention turned to the new woman. "VALENTINE! I'LL KILL YOU!"

'Valentine' pulled down her surgical mask, revealing a smirk. "I'll talk to you another time then... Something tells me you have plenty of it to spare." She tossed a small pellet at her feet, and suddenly she exploded, bones flying everywhere with no gore. The presence of multiple skulls indicated they weren't hers.

Painwheel's blades spun rapidly, lifting her into the air in what appeared to be actual flight. "GET BACK HERE!" She moved slowly in some random direction, away from the waves...

"Mm... This plump, succulent body. Soft, juicy flesh. Superb specimen, isn't she? Looks to be quite fruitful this one. As expected from a female...~" The speaker's tone changed to that of a hungry predator as he looked at his prey, drool running down his mouth. "Shall I taste you now, morsel, or later?" A pause as the slim vampire pondered his own question. "Why, now of course!" Opening his mouth to reveal twin canines, he eagerly punctured through skin and into tender meat.

"Mm... The flavor's to die for! Fresh!~" Grinning, he ate the rest of the plump sardine in one bite, before spitting out the bones. "Ahh. I should do this more often." He said, turning around and regarding the bounty of the beach from his small raft. "I found a wonderful world full of yummy sardines!" Valvatorez exclaimed enthusiastically. "Why, even the atmosphere serves to heighten my appetite! Sardines! Watch out! I'm coming for you!" Unfurling his sails, he went where the winds took him.

-

"...Which one of you idiots planted the idea in my naive lord's head?" Fenrir growled as he surveyed the Prinnies from his perch in Hades. As the peglegged penguins rushed away from the irate werewolf, phantasmic wolves burst forth from his furious fists to hunt down the rotten souls. "All is for my lord!"

"Why is earl grey called that? They don't make it from real earls anywhere near often enough and they're certainly not grey. People don't come in grey. Unless you turn them to stone," the invisible female asked, twirling some hair between her fingers and wondering what colour it was. Even she didn't know. She ought to run a chemical analysis some day and work it out... it was probably slate-grey, she guessed, much like her normal form.
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"Can't... win... shut the fuck up, you don't know what I can do!" the bikini-wearing magic user hissed, muttering obscenities under her breath (including some quite inventive ones, as well as a passing mention of 'a curse of a thousand octopodes' that was an actual spell) and focusing her magical abilities.

Everything went dim for a second... and then time was stopped.

When it resumed, an entire sphere composed of fireballs and generic magical blasts was arrayed around the painwheel person, whatever that meant. Individually, nothing special, but together? Well, at the least it was kind of hard to fly when on fire. It made steering difficult.

The cyan strand of hair was idly played with as she got her breath back.

Painwheel was suddenly assaulted from all directions, her scream travelling far in every direction. She crashed to the sand, on fire and bleeding. Her fan suddenly rotated again, putting out the flames, and it became apparent her wounds were closing fairly quickly. "That... that HURT!" She placed the rotating blade on the ground, and suddenly she was wheeling towards her opponent.

--

Valentine spied from a distance on the battle. "Seems like someone can't pass up a challenge..."

It seemed that the girl in the violently green clothing hadn't completely butchered her defensive capability and banished her accelerated progress through time, on this occasion, since she casually strolled out of the way... at a speed that would be a lot more appropriate for a sprinting cheetah.

She also appeared to have laid magical mines, if the overabundance of lightning and flame as the superweapon moved forwards was any indication.

The girl now cheerfully making her way down some stretch of the beach was somewhat odd. It wasn't her small form, it was fairly normal for a girl of her apparent young age. After all, she couldn't have been older then ten. It wasn't her long purple ponytail, though purple was certainly unusual hair color. It wasn't her soft, childish features. That was normal for someone her age. It wasn't her purple eyes, though those were unusual just as her hair. It wasn't her simple blue dress, or her black sandals, either. It wasn't her slender body, it wasn't any of these things. In fact, nothing about the girl herself was particularly unusual. She seemed like a normal little girl. At least, until you saw the chainsaws made out of lasers that were currently orbiting her head.

Kaori cheerfully strolled along, her do-it-yourself magical defense system continuing to orbit her head. The scenery was so very nice...

"...Mm, smoking sardines make for a delicious texture." Val hummed as he somehow drifted his boat close enough to the flames to begin the act of cooking his fish. He just let the foolish humans continue on with their war games. Soul harvesting could wait until he was done with his meal. Pulling out a fan, he began flapping away at the strong stench that arose from the warmed sardines.

Now walking down the beach, leaving deep footprints in the sand, was what appeared to be a humanoid robot. Red-orange metal gleamed in the sunlight as a green visor looked around. Whatever this metal creature was, it was horribly, horribly confused by the girl with the metal pinwheel in her back - whatever she was, she clearly wasn't human, at least not entirely. Some sort of science experiment, perhaps?