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Yang: Ruby, Weiss! Get over here! I have found the most hilarious thing ever.
Weiss: Another fanfiction? Wasn’t the last one bad enough.
Ruby: It’s not pairing us with jerks; is it?
Yang: Nope! It doesn’t mention us by name at all. Instead if features “Yellow”, “Black”, “Red”, and “White”.
Weiss: Yeah, that’s TOTALLY not about us.
Yang: Also, it features hilariously bad dialogue. You must read this to believe it.
Weiss: Well, I’ve nothing better to do at the moment.
Secret Ninjas  
Author: Loves-Magical-Ninja-Force
A girl learns a secret about her teammate that changes their relationship forever.
Rated: M - English – Romance/Drama –  Chapters: 2 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 25 -  Published: 09-19-13 - Status: Complete –
A/N: This is my first attempt at writing this fanfiction stuff. This is just to practice writing yuri and does not at all reflect any feelings on my part towards any of the…characters.
Weiss: Well, that certainly bodes well.
The Black haired girl watched the blond girl from afar. The beautiful blond with her pretty hair and eyes. She loved everything about the girl. She loved her beauty as well as her fiery personality. She wanted to be held in the blond girl’s warm embrace; and receive first degree burns of fiery passion. For the sake of this story, we shall refer to these girls as Black and Yellow.
Ruby: …did I just read the best paragraph ever? Cause I’m fairly certain I just read the best paragraph ever.
Yang: Don’t worry. It gets much sillier.
The Black haired girl did not confess her feelings of passionate longing; as she was the quiet type. Instead she preferred to stare at her for long periods of time. Sometimes it would seem that she was staring back; and wondered if the blond haired girl liked her in return.
Weiss: Gee, that certainly sounds familiar.
Yang: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
One day, however, she decided to do something about her feelings! So she went to seek the help of Blond’s sister, whom we shall refer to as Red. Red was unknowingly the object of another girl’s affections; specifically hear partner, White. Though the two fought all the time; White was so obviously into her that almost everyone could see it. It was a wonder two people so oblivious could function in society. Nevertheless; this part shall not affect the story quite yet.
Ruby: Why do I feel like sneezing all of a sudden?
Weiss: …well, I guess this fic isn’t about us after all.
Yang: To answer Ruby’s earlier question; THAT is the best paragraph ever.
“Red! Help me to win the affections of your fair and voluptuous sister!” said Black.
Ruby: What’s voluptuous?
Yang: I’ll tell you when you’re older.
Ruby: I’m 15!  
“Finally!” said Red. “I shall tell you the secret to winning my sister’s heart! It is simple really… she’s actually a huge fan of some book called Ninjas of Love. I guess you could emulate that to get her attention,”
“Gasp! I am a fan of that series as well! Truly we are destined to be together!” said Black, running out of the room.
Weiss: They like the same book series? Truly no two people were ever so close.
Blake: What are you guys reading?
Yang: Oh, some silly fanfic called Secret Ninjas. Wanna read with us?
Blake:…oh, I just remembered. I have to go do…a thing. Yeah. See you.
Yang: …well that wasn’t suspicious.
Yellow was walking home one night; when she was very quickly surrounded by smoke! Suddenly, a figure in a ninja costume jumped from the bushes!
Weiss: Of course there’s a random ninja attack out of nowhere.
Ruby: But ninjas automatically improve all forms of fiction in which they appear!
Weiss: Have you READ “Ninjas of Love”?
Ruby: Every rule has exceptions!  
“Hello, beautiful samurai warrior! In spite of our differences, I cannot help but be…ACK!”
The mysterious figure was cut off when Yellow suddenly punched her hard enough to send her flying into a wall.
Weiss: Well, looks like their relationship is off to a good start.
 “Oops, sorry. Reflexes,” said Yang.
Yang: Well, I guess at this point the author is officially writing about us.
Weiss: No, she’s officially writing about YOU. I refuse to acknowledge White as an expy of myself.  I am NOT interested in red! At all!
“I’m sorry… I should not have jumped out at a trained warrior like that…” said the mysterious ninja.
Ruby: The ninja is Black, isn’t it?
Weiss: Gee, how did you guess that one?
Ruby: Cause I’m clever.
Weiss: We must introduce you to this thing called sarcasm.   
“Yeah, you should know better than that…” said Yellow, pulling the mask of the ninja to reveal that it was Blacke all along!
“You knew it was me?” said Black.
“Of course I did! I recognize you because…I am in love with you!” said Yellow.
Yang: Cause that is totally how love works.
Weiss: Nothing to say about you apparently being in love with "Black"? No denials? No "we only stare cause we're trying to think of more banter?"
Yang: What, and fuel the shippers?
Weiss: You already do that when you stare at her for hours.
“Oh Yellow, I’m in love with you too!” said Black. “I thought I needed to dress up like a ninja to impress you!”
Yellow lifted Black into the air and bridal carried her.
“I was impressed with you from the moment I saw you!” said Yellow. “Also, you don’t need to pretend to be a ninja to impress me because…I’m secretly a ninja!”
Ruby: Best. Plot twist. Ever.
Weiss: This author really has a thing for ninjas.
Yang: -too busy laughing her ass off to say anything-
And then they made out, and all was right with the world.
A/N: Sorry that was so short. We’ll get to the lemons in the next chapter. I assure you that they shall be sufficiently steamy. Please Review!
Ruby: Why would fruit be steamy?
Weiss: I suggest we stop before Ruby finds out what the author means by “lemons”.
Ruby: What?
Yang: Agreed.
Ruby: Oh no you don’t! I am too invested in this fic to stop now! –clicks the link to chapter two-
Yang: No wait! You'll be traumati... never mind.
Ruby: “Story Not Found” What? But we were just reading it.
Blake: The author probably deleted it while you were reading it.
Blake: I finished… uh… the thing I was doing, and walked back in quietly.
Weiss: Shame. I was sort of morbidly curious as to what happened next. Seems odd that it was deleted right after we started reading the first chapter though…
Blake: Oh well! That must be one of life’s great mysteries that will never be solved and should therefore be dropped.
Ruby: Ah crap…it’s almost time for class again. –runs off-
Blake: -breathes a sigh of relief-
Yang: Hey Blake, before we go, I have to say something.
Blake: Uh, yes?
Yang: My favorite part was when they “borrowed” Red’s scythe.

In a world torn between Team Edward, and Team Jacob, I have one thing to say:

Go Team Godzilla

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