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Badass Fnafic Conquerors





CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board BADASS FNAFIC CONQUERORS.




CTG: *fanfic

CTG: omfg guys who have got 2 c this

CTG: it is the literial best like evn better than seein dirk prance his qt ass in a skirt

CTG: there is...

CTG: ….

CTG: …………………

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CAG: Quit 8a88ling and spit it out already!

CTG: …………………………..

CAG:Oh, you want long pauses? I'll give you long pauses!

CAG: ………………………………………..

CAG: ………………………………………………..

CAG: See? I have all the periods. ALL OF THEM!  

CTG: ………………………………………………………………………

FUTURE gallowsCalibrator [FGC] 00:41:30 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FGC: 1 S33 YOUV3 4LR34DY ST4RT3D BL4CK-FL1RT1NG W1TH TH3 HUM4N

CTG: oh shit is that what shes doing

CTG: oops i mean

CTG: ……………………………………………………………………………….

CAG: What?! I don't h8 the human that way! If anyone is 8lack flirting, it's her!

CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix[CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CGA: Do You Require An Auspistice

CGA: I Can Offer My Services If You Would Like

CGC: We don't need an auspistice! I don't even h8 her in that way!

FGC: TH4TS WHY YOU SP3ND TH3 R3ST OF TH3 M3MO H4T3-FL1RT1NG

CTG: omg cant a gurl dramaticalily pause w/o spiderbitches wantin into her pants

CTG: i kno im a hot piece of ass

CTG: but im not even into that kinky hate sex thing u trolls like

CGC: Will you just tell us why you opened this memo already?

CTG: no we need 2 more peeps

PAST adiosToreador [PAT] 12 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PAT: uH,,, wHATS GOING ON

PAST terminallyCapricious [PTC] 6 HOURS AGO responded to memo.

PTC: WhAt Is Up aNd HaPpEnInG bRoSiSeS?

CTG: okay NOW i can tell everyone

CTG: we

CTG: have

CTG: FNAFICS ABOUT US

CTG: *fanfics fuck how did i do that typo twice

CGA: What

PAT: uM,REALLY, tHAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD REALLY BOOST MY SELF ESTEEM

CAG: Well, it makes sense that people would want to write stories a8out me. I’m just that awesome.

PTC: HaHa i dOnT MoThErFuCk bE KnOwInG WhAt a fAnFiC Is bUt iT SoUnDs mIrAcUlOuS.

FGC: OH H3LLO G4MZ33.

PTC: WhAt iS Up mY JuStIcEsIs?

FGC: UM… H3Y! L3TS ST4RT R34D1NG TH1S F1C SH4LL W3?

CGA: Im Not Quite Sure If I Am Comfortable With People Writing About Our Personal Lives

CGA: Theyre Not In Any Way Similar To Roses Literary Works Are They

CGA: Her Stories Can Get A Bit

CGA: Um

CGA: Nevermind

CTG: el em eh fuckin oh

CTG: u have got 2 show me show me rosies fanfics *wonk*

CTG: anyways lemme just get a link 2 the story

CTG: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7324877/1/Homestuck-high

CTG: feast ur eyes on this piece of literary art






Homestuck high




By: randomnezz4eva123

Join the cast of homestuck as they go through high school! They face dark magic, pregnancies, drama and more! It has multiple pairings and ADULT CONTENT plz review this is my first story




CAG: Wow. This already looks like the shittiest thing I've ever seen.





Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - John E., Rose L. - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,125 - Reviews: 719 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 111 - Updated: Aug 4, 2012 - Published: Aug 26, 2011 - id: 7324877




CGA: It Appears That John And Rose Are The Main Characters If Their Names Being In The Character Section Are Anything To Go By

CGA: Why Do I Have Such An Ominous Feeling

CGA: Maybe I Should Go Before I End Up Reading Something I Am Most Definitely Going To Regret

CAG: Don’t 8e such a wuss, fussyfangs.

CTG: yeah cant believe im agreeing or w/e with the spiderbitch

CTG: but dont go now

CTG: u havent even got 2 the best part

CGA: I Feel As Though I Should Be Wary Of This Best Part But Fine

CGA: I Will Stay

CAG: That’s the spirit. I mean, you don’t want to wuss out 8efore Tavros does, do you?

PAT: hEY, UH, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M GOING TO WUSS OUT,

CAG: Oh please, Toreadork. Wussing out is pretty much all you do. Your entire life is all a8out wussing out and failure.

PAT: wELL, uH, mAYBE I WON'T WUSS OUT, mAYBE MY SELF-ESTEEM WILL CARRY ME ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THE STORY,

CAG: Yeah, sure it will. Your amazing self-esteem is as fake as Rufio.

CGA: Vriska

CGA: I Ask You To Cease And Desist At Once

CAG: Fine. You’re such a boooooooore fussyfangs.

--




hi guys this is my first fanfic i RLY hope u all enjoy it im riting it on notpad but mi frend beta red it 4 me! HEHE HOMESTUCK FOREVER!




FGC: SOM3TH1NG S33MS QU1T3 F4M1L14R 4BOUT TH1S 4UTHOR’S ‘R1T1NG STYL3’

FGC: 1T SM3LLS SUSP1C1OUSLY L1K3 BUBBL3GUM 4ND HUM4N SOPOR1F1CS

CTG: wtf is human soporifics

CTG: do u mean liquor

CTG: because i stone cold quit that shit

CTG: i am as sober as a nun in a bible conventition

CTG: lmao convenTITion

CTG: it is a bible convention with tits

FGC: 4 L1K3LY STORY

PTC: MaN I CoUlD MoThErFuCkIn gO FoR SoMe sOpOr rIgHt nOw.




The spring fling was next week and John didn't have a date. He realy liked Rose however. He had liked her sence second grade when she bit his arm and broke his glasses and made him cry.




CGA: Oh

CGA: Well

CGA: Are You Positive I Cant Just Leave You To Read This So Called Literary Work Of Art

CGA: Without Me

CAG: Sure. If you want us to start calling you wussyfangs.

CGA: Ugh

CGA: Id Rather You Didnt

FGC: 1 THOUGHT HUM4NS D1DNT H4V3 BL4CK ROM4NC3

CTG: nah we totes dont

CTG: this is just strait up masochism

CTG: some humans are just into that shit

CAG: Man, humans are into some weird shit.

CTG: says the grl w/ a hate boner for me

CAG: You wish I would even 8other having a hate-8oner for you!

CTG: lmao that is some hilarious as hell denial u got goin

CTG: u kno u cant resist this nice rolal ass

CTG: i dont blame u

CAG: Your 8ss is s8bstandard 8t 8est!

CGA: Are You Sure You Dont Need My Expertise

CAG: SH8T 8T!

He took his books out of his locker and seen Rose walking towards him. He got REALY nervous and began to sweat.




CAG: Sounds alot like someone we know. Soon he’ll be going on a8out 8lood and horses.




"Hi rose" he said blankly

"What do you want loser" she replied coldly

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said

"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"




PAT: uH, tHAT SEEMS LIKE A REALLY MEAN THING TO SAY TO SOMEONE'S FACE,

CGA: I Believe I Get It Now

CGA: This Author Has Clearly Never Got Acquainted With Any Of Us And Is Merely Borrowing Our Names For The Sake Of Their Story

CGA: This Is A Conclusion I Have Come To Because Rose Would Never Act In Such A Manner Towards John Or

CGA: Anyone Really





"Thats ok" John said




CAG: Wow John, w8y to take that a8use lying down like a man. This little 8itch is nothing like John. This John is even more pathetic and lame than Tavros. This isn’t John. This is Tav-John.  

PAT: i'D, uM,,, pREFER IF YOU DIDN'T CALL HIM THAT,

CAG: Tav-john is so lame, even Tavros doesn’t want to 8e associated with him.




Just then the schools goth kid Gamzee came up to talk to them.




PTC: WeLl mOtHeRfUcKiN MiRaClEs.

PTC: HeY FaNfIc mE.




"Hey rose" Gamzee seed "I like totally love your hair, wed look amazing together at the spring flarp next week. YoU should go with me."

"I just asked her you goth freak" John proclamed loudly!

"Well your no god for rose. Rose is a beauty like no other rose could compare. I deserve to go with her more than yu do!"




PTC: ThAt iS NoT ChIlL FaNfIc mE.

PTC: StEaLiN A BrOs mOtHeRfUcKiN FlUsH CrUsH AfTeR He uP AnD AsKeD HeR OuT.

PTC: NoT MiRaCuLoUs aT AlL.




"OMG u guys" Rose describbed looking from John to Hamzee "Why don't u both take me to the spring fling next week? We could be a threesome"




PAT: uH, WHAT’S A THREESOME?

CTG: its like ur auspitism thingy

CTG: cept sexier




"Ok" John and Gamzee agreed in unicons.




FGC: TH3Y SUR3 4GR33D TO 4 THR33SOM3 PR3TTY QU1CKLY; CONS1D3R1NG TH3Y W3R3 JUST F1GHT1NG OV3R H3R

CGA: I Am Having Enough Trouble Imagining Her And John

CGA: I Do Not Need The Additional Image Of Gamzee Joining In A Human Threesome

CGA: Especially Given Roxys Rather Enlightening Description Of It

CTG: was that sarcasm

CTG: are u sassying me up maryam

CGA: Maybe




On the weekend Rose went shopping with Jade and Ferrari to pick a dress. They got ready together at jades house. Rose was wearing a mini length lether tight dress which came up to her knees like one of those pencil skrits and it hugged her small frame tightly.

It had no straps and it was held up by her boobies.




FGC: 1 DONT B3L13V3 W3 KNOW 4NYON3 N4M3D F3RR4R1 COULD TH1S B3 4 N3W CH4R4CT3R...OR COULD 1T B3 4NOTH3R TYPO? 4 TYPO BY SOM3ON3 W1TH D3L1C1OUS BUBBL3GUM T3XT P3RH4PS?

PTC: I DoNt kNoW WhO ThIs fErRaRi sIsTeR Is bUt i dOnT Be tHiNkInG ShE HaS AnY BuBbLeGuM On hEr DrAgOnSiS.

CGA: I

CGA: John Rose And Gamzee Potentially Partaking In A Triad Of Coital Activities Was One Thing

CGA: But I Am Putting My Foot Down At This Absolutely Atrocious State Of Dress

CAG: Fussyfangs, since you’re the expert on the su8ject...do human 8oo8s even work that way?

CGA: What

CGA: Who Said I Was An Expert

CGA: By Which I Mean I Am Certainly Not An Expert In Human Anatomy Not Even If That Anatomy Was By Chance Female

CGA: Not That Im Not Interested In Learning More About Our Alien Comrades And Thus Becoming More Multicultural

CGA: Er

CGA: Can We Just Not Talk About This

CTG: that is hella cute maryam

CTG: r like all of u laliens in massive denial

CTG: is that a trait trolls have

CTG: and nah tits defs dont work that way v-serk





It was bright green and it showed of her clevers. She bought knee high leather black boots that had riddles in them and were for inches high off the ground with a pointy toe. She wore her hair up in a kinda messy bun with her bangs just bellow her eyebros. She was wearing thick black eyeliner and bright red lipstick. She was also wearing a fake tan.




PAT: uM,,, wHY DOES THE AUTHOR SPEND SO MUCH TIME DESCRIBING CLOTHES AND STUFF WHEN THEY COULD TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS' EMOTIONS,

CGA: Erg Im Still Having Trouble Stomaching This Extensively Poor Sense Of Fashion




"OMG u look so hot rose I would totally wanna sex you" Jade said as she smacked Rose's ass.




PAT: tHAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE JADE AT ALL,

CAG: No8ody in this fanfic sounds like themselves.

CGA: Oh

CGA: Wow

CGA: Im Not Sure How I Should Feel About This

CTG: turned on *wonk*

CAG: 8et you are.

CTG: oh ew thats my momdaughter or whatever weird paradox spacey name it is

CAG: Oh, right. Human incest ta8oos. I’m sure you’re not thinking a8out your mom in some kind of kinky relationship with a human male, a troll male, and possi8ly Jade.

CTG: fuck u 2 serket

CTG: wait youd like that

CTG: n/m

"you look hot too Jade, I bet Dave will want to sex you to" Rose described

FGC: T3RR1BL3 D14LOGU3; POORLY WR1TT3N ROM4NC3; J4D3 4ND D4V3 4CTU4LLY H4PP3N1NG? 1 M1GHT NOT H4V3 B33N SM3LL1NG BUBBL3GUM 4T 4LL 1N F4CT 1TS ST4RT1NG TO SM3LL 4 LOT L1K3 C4ND13D 4PPL3S

CGA: It Continues To Baffle Me That This Author Believes Rose Acts This Outrageously Let Alone Talk In This Manner

CAG: Did you honestly expect this shitty fanfic to capture anyone’s personality correctly? No sense making a 8ig deal out of it; this loser author pro8a8ly doesn’t even know us.




"Do u think so?" she blushed "Im a virgin though"

"Don't worry he likes virgins" Ferrari said "Vriska told me"




CAG: What.




"OMG Vriskas slept with Dave!" Jade ejaculated




CAG: WH8T!!!!!!!!




"Yea, but he didn't like it because she wasn't a virgin" Ferrari conjured




CAG: WH8888888888888888T????????!!!!!!!! F8CK TH8S 8’M F8CK8NG 88T 8F H8R8!!!

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] ceased responding to memo.

CTG: lmaoing @ this

PAT: sO,,,UH,,, dOES THAT COUNT AS WUSSING OUT,

PTC: ShIt mAn.

PTC: SiS NeEdS To gEt hEr cAlM On.

PTC: ChIlLaX WiTh sOmE MoThErFuCkIn fAyGo oR SoMe sHiT.





"Oh ok" Jade countered




FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 00:18:00 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FAG: I’m b8ck. I w8sn’t gone long. Nor did scre8 and break things in a bl8nd rag8. 8ND I TOTALLY DIDN’T W8SS OUT TAVR8S SO SHUT8P!

CTG: fag

CTG: i am laughing my literal ass off rite now

CTG: that is so perf for u keep bein fag

CTG: from now on you can only join memos if ur from the future

FAG: What do8s “Fag” even mean? Is it a l8me hum8n thing?

CTG: fag legit means you

CTG: as in every fuckin thing you encompass

CTG: there is a picture of you next to the definition of fag and everything

FAG: Then fag must mean awesome; cause that’s pretty much all I am.

CTG: yeah thats so totes what it means

CTG: you should tell the other humans ur a fag

FGC: 4R3 YOU SUR3 HUM4NS DONT H4V3 BL4CK ROM4NC3?




They all went to the party and everyone was there. Everyone danced with one another and the lights were flickering between all different colours.




FAG: That is the most 8oring description in the history of anything ever.

PTC: I DoNt kNoW MaN Im pIcTuRiNg tHaT ShIt rIgHt nOw.

PTC: AlL ThOsE CoLoRs.

PTC: JuSt mOtHeRfUcKiN MiRaClEs aT WoRk hErE.





All the differnt clicks were dancing together and it was realy good. Dave ended up taking Jade early and Roze gave her a wink but Vriska was jealousy. She want Dave for herself and didnt like them together.




FAG: ...n8 c8mm8nt.

CTG: holy shit

CTG: something shut v-serk up

CTG: miracles do happen

PTC: HeLl yEaH HuMaNsIs.

PTC: ItS JuSt sHiT MaN.

PTC: MiRaClEs aRe eVeRyWhErE.

PTC: EvEn iN ThIs fAnFiC We'rE ReAdInG.

FGC: YOU H4D TO M3NT1ON M1R4CL3S




"Rose" John said seriously "I think im in love with you"

"OMG John" Rose declaration "I think im in lust with you too"

"yay" they both said




FGC: SOM3WH3R3 1N TH3 WORLD; K4RK4T JUST PUNCH3D TH3 41R 4ND DO3SNT KNOW WHY

CGA: Is It Safe To Assume This

CGA: Ugh

CGA: Fanfic Is Over Now

CGA: Can I Go Back To Reading Something More Palatable

CTG: nup

FAG: Gonna wuss out, Fussyfangs?




"OMG you guys karkat just killed himself" Gamzee proclimbed




FGC: W4Y TO B3 4 MOM3NT-K1LL3R K4RK4T!

PTC: HeY KaRbRo sHoUlDn't uP AnD Do sOmEtHiNg lIkE ThAt.

PTC: If tHe lItTlE BrOtHeR WaS FeElInG DoWn hE ShOuLd hAvE CaMe aNd gOt hIs cHaT On wItH A MoThErFuCkEr.

PAT: uH, wOW, wHAT A WEIRD WAY TO JUST SPRING THAT ON SOMEONE,

FAG: “Liek, omigod you guys, Karkat is liek, dead and stuff. what a 8ummer dudes,”

CGA: Are We Done Yet Roxy

CTG: yeah for now

CTG: but theres like more chapters after this

CTG: we can get to them later




hehe a cliffhanger i hop u enjoyed it plz review

FAG: Laugh while you can author...I’ll find you.

CGA: Vriska No

CGA: You Promised You Would Stop Killing People

FAG: 8ut 8ut…

CGA: Though I May Overlook It This Once

FAG: I’ll 8e sure to make them pay.

CGA: Im Quite Certain You Will

CGA: Now If That Is All Ill Be On My Way

CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix[CGA] ceased responding to memo.

PAT: wELL, tHAT WAS CERTAINLY DISAPPOINTING, i DIDN'T EVEN APPEAR IN THE STORY, tHOUGH I THAT’S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST,

CTG: pssst

CTG: you appear in the next chapter

CTG Wink

PAT: oH, i GUESS THAT'S SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, oR MAYBE NOT,

PAT: wELL,  i'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER

PAST adiosToreador [PAT] ceased responding to memo.

FAG: Adios, Torea8ORE.

PTC: I'M GoNnA Be gOiN ToO.

PTC: GoT SoMe wIcKeD ElIxErS To kIcK BaCk wHiLe mE AnD TaVbRo sPiT SoMe iLl rYhMeS.

PAST terminallyCapricious [PTC] ceased responding to memo.

CTG: soooooooo

FAG: I see what you did there.

CTG: o

FAG: u used 8 As.

FAG: *Os

FAG: *fuck

FAG: W8 A S8C8ND THER8S A 9NTH O THERE!

CTG: took u long enuf to notice v-serk

FAG: F8r s8meon8 who isn’t into bl8ck flirting you sure are doing alot of bl8ck flirting!  

CTG:

CTG: shit

CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG] ceased responding to memo.

FAG: That’s why you don’t mess with the 8est. Like I’d 8lack flirt with a human.

FGC: YOU JUST D1D BL4CK FL1RT W1TH 4 HUM4N

FAG: ...sh8t!

FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] ceased responding to memo.

CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CGC: D1D 1 M1SS 4NYTH1NG?

FGC: JUST VR1SK4 TRY1NG NOT TO BL4CK FL1RT W1TH 4 HUM4N 4ND F41L1NG M1S3R4BLY

CGC: TH1S 1 MUST W1TN3SS FOR MYS3LF

FGC: TH4TS WH4T 1 S41D

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