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Badass Fnafic Conquerors Part 2

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Badass Fnafic Conquerors Part 2








CURRENT tipsyGnostalgic [CTG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board BADASS FNAFIC CONQUERORS.




CTG: its time to party

CTG: and by party i mean read bitchin fanficcs

CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CAG: I have arrived, since o8viously you guys would 8e useless without me.

CTG banned CAG from responding to memo.

CTG: nup

CTG: only future you is allowed

FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 8 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo.

FAG: Oh jegus you were serious a8out that.

CURRENT grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CGA: Im Afraid I Will Have To Intervene With Your Caliginous Flirting From This Point Forward

CGA: Whether You Agree With It Or Not

CTG: shiiiit

CTG: im not flirting with this spierybitch

CTG: its called trolling

CTG: biiiiiiiig difference

CTG: wait fuck add another i to that big

FAG: I am not hate-flirting with anyone!

CGA: Regardless I Will Keep My Eye On You Two

CURRENT arsenicCatnip [CAC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CAC: :33 < *ac curiously pokes her head inside the memo to s33 what she's missing*

CTG: oh hells yeah

CTG: *the sexily stunning maiden pets the sweet precious half fefeta*

CAC: :33 < *ac purrs and rubs against the mysterious maiden's leg.*

CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CGC: 1S TH4T ROL3PL4Y1NG 1 SM3LL?

CGC: *TH3 M1GHTY DR4GON FL13S OV3RH34D; S34RCH1NG FOR PR3Y!*

CTG: *the still sexily stunning maiden picks up the hella cute kitty*

CTG: *but oh no a dragon*

CTG: are u here to challenge my sexiness

CTG: *she said*

FAG: *suddenly, a gigantic yet amazingly graceful spider lowers itself down on a line of we8 to inspect her potential prey*

CAC: :33 < uh, i don't think i want to roleplay anymore.

CGC: TH1S 1S USU4LLY WH3R3 OUR ROL3PL4YS STOPP3D B31NG FUN

FAG: Oh c8me on! Wh8n did you g8ys start being such pansies?

CTG: wow v-serk

CTG: p fuckin hilarious how u have a talent for ruining shit

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CCG: OKAY YOU THINKPAN ROTTED PILES OF RANCID REFUSE, WHO GAVE GAMZEE THE FUCKING IDEA THAT I WAS GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

CCG: I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS MENTALLY DEFECTIVE ENOUGH TO EVEN SUGGEST THAT I WOULD DO SOMETHING SO HILARIOUSLY IMBECILIC.

CCG: WAIT.

CCG: OH MY GOD ARE YOU ASSHOLES ROLEPLAYING AGAIN?

CCG: IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? DID ONE OF YOU IDIOTS DECIDE THAT HAR HAR IT WOULD BE SO FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC TO ROLEPLAY OUR LONG SUFFERING LEADER AS A SUICIDAL PRICK.

CCG: OH WELL NO WONDER I KILLED MYSELF, EVEN ROLEPLAY ME CAN'T STAND YOUR VAPID, WRIGGLER BULLSHIT.

CGC: 4CTU4LLY W3 W3R3 JUST M3SS1NG 4ROUND 4 B1T B3FOR3 W3 G3T B4CK TO R34D1NG TH4T T3RR1BL3 HUM4N ROM4NC3 F1C

CCG: ROMANCE?

CCG: LIKE YOU'D BE A SOUND JUDGE OF THE DELICATE INTRICACIES OF ROMANCE.

CCG: EVEN DISGUSTINGLY SIMPLE HUMAN ROMANCE.

CCG: I BET THIS FANFIC IS ACTUALLY GOOD AND YOU JUST CAN'T GRASP THE SUBTLETIES OF ITS GENIUS.

CTG: i like this shouty little nub

CAC: :33 < does this fanfic have a lot of shipping?

FAG: Oh yes, this fanfiction has all the shipping. ALL OF IT.

CGC: W3LL OF COURS3 YOUD L1K3 1T K4RK4T 1T H4S 4LL OF YOUR F4VOR1T3 HUM4N SH1PS 1N 1T

CAC: :33 < i didn't know karkitty had a passion for shipping!

CCG: WELL.

CCG: COLOR ME INTRIGUED.

CGA: Oh Dear

CTG: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7324877/2/Homestuck-high

CTG: here u go nubby




hi guys this is chapter 2. i finished chapter 1 a while back b4 my other beta reder got busy wit school since she didnt start then so now my otherfriend said shed beta it insted. ITS A LOT BETTER NOW THNK U SO MUUUUUCH CAROLYN UR A BETTER EDITER THAN JANE.




CCG: OH FUCK.

CCG: NEVERMIND. I REGRET EVERYTHING PAST ME SAID.

CTG: janey couldnt have betad this

CTG: 2 many grammaticical mistakes for her tight ass




Everyone went to teh hospitl to see Karkat. He was in a comma. Everyone was crying, even Dave was crying a little bit because he and Karkat were best frends. They did lots of things togther (AN: no gay stuff tho! thats gross!) and so he was upset Karkat would try and do this to himself.




CAC: :33 < wait, why are karkitty and Dave in this fanfic? is it by someone we know?

CCG: OKAY WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHATS WROTE THIS? I NEED TO SHOW THEM HOW BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE IT IS FOR SOMEONE TO BE INSIDE A FUCKING PUNCTUATION MARK.

CGC:TH3 1NV3ST1G4T1ON 1S ONGO1NG 1 4LR34DY H4V3 TWO SUSP3CTS

CGA: While The Concept Of Homosexuality Is One I Only Recently Came To Be Acquainted With

CGA: I Believe It Is Highly Offensive To Call It Gross

CTG: yeah shits p rude

CTG: and hilarious if they think john and gamzee being involved in a threesom isnt gay as hell

CCG: WHAT THE FUCK DID I MISS???




"Is he gonna be allright" John inquisisted the doctor

"If it wasnt for you kids he wouldnt be" the doctor said

"So he is going to be okay?" Dave weeped




CCG: LIKE THAT INSUFFERABLE PRICK WOULD CRY OVER ME. I COULD BE LYING IN A POOL OF MY OWN BLOOD AND HE WOULD STILL LAUGH AT ME LIKE THE INSIPID TOOL HE IS.

CGC: Y34H D4V3 1S TOO COOL TO OP3NLY W33P 4BOUT STUFF 4T L34ST 1N PUBL1C

CGC: WH1CH 1S 4 SH4M3 C4US3 H1S T34RS 4R3 D3L1C1OUS




"He will suffer amnesiea and may never walk again" the doctor solemnly said.




FAG: What did he even do to 8oth give himself amnesia; and cause himself a severe spinal injury? And yet somehow failed to kill himself.

CCG: WHAT.

CGC: L4ST CH4PT3R R4NDOMLY 3ND3D W1TH YOU K1LL1NG YOURS3LF

CCG: IS THAT WHERE GAMZEE GOT THAT GRATUITOUS TAINT CHAFING IDEA? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOURS THAT FUCKING JUGGALO SPENT TRYING TO CONVINCE ME OUT OF A NON EXISTENTIAL SUICIDE?




"NO!" Dave escalated loudly

John and Rose were waiting outside. Rose was very upset. She dated Karkat when she was younger and she lost her virginity to him. He was her first love and she never really gog over him.




CCG: OH MY GOD.

CCG: HOW DID THIS AUTHOR GET IT INTO THEIR THINKPAN THAT I WOULD EVEN STAND WITHIN THIRTY FEET OF THAT SARDONIC, MACHIAVELLIAN GRIMBITCH.

CCG: TEN SECONDS TALKING TO THAT FLIGHTY BROAD AND HER SNARKY HORSESHIT WAS ENOUGH TO SEND ME PLUMMETING TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY, WHICH I’M SURE SHE TOOK ABSOLUTE FUCKING DELIGHT IN. WAS THIS GROSSLY INACCURATE FANFIC VERSION OF ME JUST COMPLETELY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS?

CGA: Karkat Calm Down

CCG: I

CCG: FUCK

CCG: I WOULD NEVER DATE YOUR MATESPRITE. YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT, KANAYA?

CCG: JUST FUCK THIS AUTHOR.

CGA: I Know Karkat

CGA: Its Okay

FAG: Geez, Lalonde. Your fanfic mom really gets around.

CTG: is dat a yomamma joke serket

CTG: lma fuckin o you wish you got half the bitches my fanfic mom got

FAG: Are yomama jokes anything like yolusus jokes? Then yes.

CGA: Vriska

CGA: Roxy

CGA: It Would Be Advised If You Both Ceased Your Black Advances Here

FAG: There’s no 8lack flirting going on, Fussyfangs! Humans don’t even do 8lack flirting!

CAC: :33 < *ac pawses fur a moment; then quietly begins updating her shipping grid*

FAG: That shipping grid had 8etter not have what I think it has listed.

CTG: omfg u have got to show me ur shipping grid neps

CTG: so i can add v-serk x no one

FAG: And you can add Roxy x her Human mom.

CGA: I Will Not Repeat Myself

FAG: Fiiiiiine. Fussyfangs. 8ut tell the human to stop starting shit!

CTG: lol w/e




"I cant believe he would do this hes so emo" Rose moaned

"I am sorry!" John proclaimed

"John" Rose said seductivley "Can u take my mind off it"




CGA: Once Again This Author Shows Just How Little They Grasp The Personalities Of Our Friends

CGA: Rose Would Never Make Such Venereal Advances While A Friend And Apparently Ex Matesprite Is In The Hospital

CCG: WELL WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM A SHITTY EXCUSE FOR A ROMANCE STORY?





John gulped. He knew what Rose wanted but he wasnt sure if he was ready for it yet. Rose was a sex goddess and he was a geek who never got less than 100 perfect in any lessons. But he had no scores in the sex department.

CGC: 1 TH1NK 1 JUST R34D TH3 S1NGL3 GR34T3ST P13C3 OF PROS3 1N TH3 H1STORY OF F1CT1ON

FAG: So, fussyfangs; would you describe the Roxy’s lusus as a sex goddess?

CGA: How Would I Know Of Roses Prowess In Coital Activities

CGA: It Is Not A Subject We Have Ever Discussed Outside Of Her Many Literary Interests

CTG: does that mean u guys havent

CTG: u kno

CGA: Know What

CTG: imma just take dat as a no

CCG: DO HUMANS REALLY DO SOMETHING AS MORONIC AS KEEP SCORE ON THEIR ABILITY IN THE “SEX DEPARTMENT”. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A THING SO I CAN HAVE MORE REASON TO LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SPECIES.

CTG: oh hell yes we do

CTG: and my score is MATHS% more than v-serk

CTG: it is scientifical facts

FAG: How would you even know my score? Even if we kept a score; it would dwarf yours by at least 88%. I would have all the percentages. All of them.

CGA: That Is Enough

CGA: Past You Can Expect Me In Nine Minutes Vriska

CGA: And Roxy I Have Already Informed Your Human Moirail Of Your Transgressions

CGA ceased responding to memo.

CTG: u mean dirk?

CTG: wait shit

CTG: hes here

CTG: fuuuuuuck

CTG ceased responding to memo.

FAG: Oh fuck she’s actu8ally here! OK FUSSYFANGS I’LL BE GO8D HOW AR8 YOU EV8N LIFTING TH8T LO8D GAP8R!?

FAG ceased responding to the memo.

CCG: THANK GOD, I THOUGHT THEY WOULD NEVER END THEIR DISGUSTINGLY OBVIOUS BLACK SOLICITATIONS.

CAC: :33 < i'd purrefur to s33 roxy red with someone. i don't even know if humans do blackrom. though they might make cute kismesises.

CCG: I DON’T KNOW, KANAYA IS PRETTY MUCH ASHEN FOR THEM. I THINK IT’S GONNA BE RESTRICTED TO BEING AUSPISTIC IN NATURE.

CGC: 4R3 W3 GO1NG TO GO ON 4BOUT SH1PP1NG OR GO B4CK TO R1FF1NG TH1S STORY?




"Rose" John pronounced "I do not think now is the right time!"

"U want to wait?" Rose raised her eyebbrow

"I want are first time to be specil" John announced

"Ok" Rose said moodily.




CGC: LOOKS L1K3 YOU N4RROWLY M1SS3D S331NG YOUR SH1PS CONSUMM4T3D K4RK4T

CGC: B3TT3R LUCK N3XT T1M3

CCG: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT IF JOHN GETS TO PUT HIS TINY HUMAN BULGE IN THE EMBODIMENT OF TENTACLED HORROR.

CGC: 1V3 S33N YOUR SH1PP1NG GR1D

CCG: NO YOU HAVEN’T, BECAUSE THAT IS A THING THAT DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST.

CGC: OH R34LLY? FUNNY TH3N WH4TS TH1S HORR1BLY DR4WN GR1D D4V3 S3NT M3? http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln8to8bG381ql5wbwo1_500.gif

CAC: :33 < wow karkitty, that is...um... really amateurish.

CAC: :33 < but i guess it's good for beginner work? if you want to get into the shipping business, you're going to n33d a put a lot more effurt into it. i can help you to make a better one if you want.

CCG: WOW.

CCG: FUCKING WOW.

CCG: IS THE CAT GIRL JUDGING MY SHIPPING GRID, WHICH BY THE WAY IS A FUCKING WORK OF GENIUS SINCE I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD THE INGENUITY TO REALIZE THAT THE HUMANS NEED TO PERPETUATE THEIR OWN SPECIES BY NOT MAKING OUT WITH TROLLS.

CAC: :33 < but what about the other pairing possibilities? what about the moirails and other red pairings? also, theres new humans now to consider. so many new possible ships!

CGC: 4R3 YOU GUYS GO1NG TO GO ON 4BOUT SH1PP1NG 4ND ROM4NC3 4G41N?

FUTURE tipsyGnostalgic [FTG] 4 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FTG: after the most epicest of battles in which i totes kicked strider ass

FTG: i return the conquering victor

FTG: now my spoils of victory tell me what yo master missed

CGC: JUST 4 LOT OF T4LK 4BOUT SH1PP1NG

CAC: :33 < but shipping is really impurrtant!

CCG: MASTER???

CCG: HA HA HA

CCG: YOU SEE THAT? MY CHUCKLE RECEPTACLE IS BURSTING WITH UNADULTERATED GLEE AT THE MERE SUGGESTION THAT YOU WOULD BE ANYTHING LESS THAN SUBSERVIENT TO US.

CCG: THE GODS WHO CREATED YOUR PITEOUS SPECIES.

FTG: shhhh shouty

FTG: ur all in my harem now

FTG: its okay i kno how to treat my bbys

CAC::33 < what's a harem?

CCG: DON’T ENCOURAGE HER.

FTG: omfg you dont know what a harem is

FTG: its the greatest thing

FTG: like the red rom whatever you have except its a whoooole bunch of people red for one awesome person

FTG: aka me

CAC: :33 < ...i n33d to update my shipping wall.

FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 8 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FAG: I’m 8ack. What did I miss?

FTG: just me achieving my life long dream of being a harem master

CCG: I AM NOT IN YOUR FUCKING HAREM.

CCG: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M ABOUT TO SAY THIS, BUT I WOULD RATHER THE OTHER LALONDE. AT LEAST SHE CAN APPRECIATE FINE ALTERNIAN ROMANCE.

FAG: I missed a hell of alot, apparently.




Five days later Karkat woke up from his coma and everyone came to pick him up. Dave was very happy his friend was awake and brought along cheetos and pepsi to celebrate.




CGC: TH4TS NOT L1K3 D4V3 4T 4LL CL34RLY H3D BR1NG CH33TOS 4ND 4PPL3JU1C3




The girls had been to thhe beach and so they were in their bikinis. Rose was wearing a lethar tight string thang bikini which showed of her private areas while Jade wore a black lacey one with a 'D' over her left boob becase she loved Dave.




FUTURE grimAuxiliatrix [FGA] 8:32 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FGA: I Apologize For The Delay

FGA: I Had To Be Sure Vriska Did Not Start Anything For The Rest Of The Memo

FGA: Oh

FGA: I See The Authors Disastrous Sense Of Fashion Has Not Changed

FGA: If I Ever Saw Rose Wearing Something So Vile I Fear Our Relationship Would Swiftly Change To Something Far More Caliginous

FAG: Hello future fussyfangs. This is actually kind of surreal, considering past you is standing 8ehind me. I am surrounded by the fussyfangs.

FGA: Tell Past Me I Said Hi

FGA: And To Watch For Your Attempts To Escape In The Next Five Minutes

FAG: ...past fussyfangs says hi.




"He is suffering with severe head tramaur" the doctor said shakily "he does not remember his name!”

Everyone gasped.

"No! Karkat!" Dave discharged

"Who is Karkat my name is Tarvos" Karkat said questioninly




CCG: WHAT. THE. FLYING. HOOFBEAST. SHIT???????

CCG: I

CCG: I’M JUST SPEECHLESS AT THIS LEVEL OF ABSURDITY.

FAG: Aw, I think Tarvos here is upset.

CCG: STICK SOMETHING SHARP AND POINTY UP YOUR WASTE CHUTE YOU DEPRAVED SPIDER BITCH.

FAG: Calm down; no need to get upset over a fanfic...Tarvos.

CGC: D1DN’T YOU FR34K OUT Y3ST3RD4Y WH3N YOU FOUND OUT TH3 4UTHOR W4S SH1PP1NG YOU W1TH D4V3?

FAG: That was yesterday! I’m tot8lly over it!

FGA: About That Vriska

FGA: Hm

FGA: Nevermind You Will Find Out Soon Enough

FAG: What?

FTG: its kay tarvos

FTG: you can still be in my harem

CCG: AAAARRRRRGHGHGASOKDALSDK




"He can no longer walk either he must go in a wheelchair" said doctor We do not know if he will recover "How could this happen" Gamzee shot "All he want was to be normal"




CCG: I CAN FEEL MY EYES ROLLING SO HARD THAT THEY POP OUT OF MY SOCKETS AND KEEP ON ROLLING UNTIL THEY FIND THE VERY ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS GARBAGE SO THEY CAN GLARE MY IRREPROACHABLE FURY INTO THEIR SKULL AT THE VERY THOUGHT OF ANYONE IN THIS FIC BEING REMOTELY NORMAL.




They all left the hospital and Karkat was rolling himself happily while everyone was crying they had lost one of their best freinds and school would no longer be the same how were they supposed to hang around with him now he was in awheelchar.

To lighten the mood they decided to go to mcdonnalds and so they all went there and ordered burgers and chips and chicken nuggest for everyone to eat except for vriska who ate the napkins instead.




FAG: What the fuck?

FTG: did the napkins taste good?

FAG: Why would I eat napkins? Why would anyone eat n8pkins?

CGC: 1 D1DNT KNOW YOU 3NJOY3D TH3 T4ST3 OF N4PK1NS SO MUCH

FAG: Wh8t did I do to p8ss off this author s8 much?

FTG: im p sure i can name a whole list of things

FGA: Am I The Only One Still Appalled At Rose Walking Around In Public In A Bikini That Apparently Shows Her Private Areas

FAG: 8gh, c8ould th8s f8nfic get any w8rse?




"Golly I REALLY like these chicken nuggets" Karkat happily said




CAC: :33 < i don't think i've ever s33n karkitty happy about anything.




"Karkat..." Dave began "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM."

CGC: LOOK OUT K4RK4T; YOUV3 ONLY B33N 1N TH3 HOSP1T4L FOR ON3 CH4PT3R Y3T D4V3 1S 4LR34DY ST34L1NG YOUR QU1RK




"My name is Tarvos! Not Karkat!" Karkat exclamated. He smashed the chicken nugget down on the table and squished it like a bug as he looked at the floor. He was ANGRY.




CAC: :33 < that's the karkitty we know! well, closer anyway. pawssibly the closest this story will get.

FTG: so adorbs when he gets all angry and shouty

CCG: I HATE YOU ALL.

FTG: noooo shouty

FTG: this is a red harem centered on moi not a black harem centered on nubs

CAC: :33 < b-but karkitty! i've never even considered you fur that quadrant! not that i think about you and quadrants a lot or all the time or anything.

CGC: FUCK.

CGC: EVERYTHING.




Gamzee sighed "I guess we shall call him Tarvos"

"YAY" Karkat, now Tarvos sang explendidly.




CGC: WHY GO THROUGH 4LL TH1S TROUBL3 JUST TO M4K3 K4RK4T 1NTO T4VROS? 4ND TH3N NOT 3V3N H4V3 H1M 4CT L1K3 T4VROS?




"These napkins taste like piss" Vriska snooted as she gobbled one up.

"I used that one to wipe myself after I peed..." Jade whimpered.

"Ok" Vriska said, munching away.




FAG: ……..

FTG: this is y serket isnt allowed in my harem

FTG: pissy breath and shit from all those napkins

FAG: F8CK TH8S I’M 8UT OF HERE!

FAG ceased responding to the memo.

FGA: Dont Worry

FGA: Shell Be Back Shortly

FUTURE arachnidsGrip [FAG] 8:14 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FAG: ...d8ath 8s t88 good for this a8thor.




"When did you go to pee" Rose asked curiously

Jade looked down at the floor while fiddling with his black lace panties "When you all weren't looking...I..I needed to take a pregnancy test."




CCG: I’M SITTING HERE BAFFLED AS TO WHY THAT WOULD CONSTITUTE BRINGING YOUR PISS COVERED NAPKINS TO THE TABLE. I KNOW HARLEY WAS RAISED BY A BARKBEAST BUT I’M PRETTY SURE SHE KNOWS A THING OR TWO ABOUT COMMON FUCKING COURTESY.




"WHAT!" everyone but Feferi exclaimed because she was too cool




FTG: fuck yeah

FTG: fef is way 2 cool for u nerds




"Dave..." Jade began "I AM PREGNANT!




FGA: I Thought The Previous Chapter Stated That Jade Was A Human Virgin

FGA: Am I Wrong In Thinking That The Requirement For Virginity Is To Not Have Partaken In Sexual Activities

CGC: 1 TH1NK D4V3 M1GHT H4V3 T4K3N C4R3 OF TH4T B3TW33N CH4PT3RS

FTG: aw look davey is a man now

FTG: imma go shed some proud momsis tears for him

FTG: anyways

FTG: look on the bright side v-serk

FTG: at least ur not carrying a bouncing baby strider

FAG: I want none of the Strider babies. NONE OF THEM.

FTG: what bout a lalonde *wonk*

CCG: YOU’RE NOT GONNA START RED FLIRTING NOW, ARE YOU?

FTG: maaaaaaaaybe

FTG: nah im just messing

FAG: Our children would be terrifying to 8ehold. The only thing keeping them from conquering the universe would 8e your lame genes...I mean your not lame at all genes fussyfangspleaseputdownthechainsaw.



gasp! Jade is PG! what will happn now! will karkat get better? REVIEW




CCG: NO I WILL NOT GET BETTER. AFTER READING THIS FILTH, I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. MY EVERY BEING IS SCREAMING AT ME TO SCRUB THE LAYERS OF VOMIT THIS FANFIC EXUDED ON ME UNTIL MY SKIN IS AS PINK AND SQUISHY AS THE HUMANS.

CAC: :33 < *ac silently mourns over the fact that she can't unread this fanfic; though she is glad that there is no more of it.*

FTG: oh

FTG: uh

FTG: u just keep believing there is no more of this fic

FTG: my sweet, precious harem member numbah kitty

CAC: :33 < *ac purrs happily*

CGC: WH4T NUMB3R 4M 1?

FTG: numbah cooler than spiders aka 413

FAG: I'd ask what num8er I am 8ut...I don't care. Cause if anyone should be asking what num8er they are, it’s everyone else.

FTG: you dont have a number cause ur not in my harem

FTG: only hella rad people and people not dating my momsis can be in my harem

FAG: Fine with me. I’ll start my own harem. And I’ll go through the dream 8u88les and find all the doomed timeline versions of everyone you know. Every single one of them.

FTG: pffffff

FTG: as if anyone would want to be in ur harem

FGA: Vriska

FGA: Please Thank Past Me For The Wallop She Is About To Give You

FAG: What whallop...OW! Fussyfangs why?

FGA: I Am Wondering If We Have Gotten To That Best Part Yet Roxy

FGA: So I Can Know If I Can Wipe My Hands Of This Whole Ordeal Once And For All

FTG: nup

FTG: that happens next chapter

FGA: I Suppose I Will Look Forward To It Then Even If I Can Feel My Insides Drop At What Could Even Be Considered A Best Part

FGA ceased responding to the memo.

CAC: :33 < i should purrabably go too. i have a shipping wall to update.

CAC ceased responding to the memo.

CCG: I AM LOATHE TO ADMIT IT BUT I AM ACTUALLY CURIOUS ON HOW THIS TRAVESTY OF A TRAINWRECK COULD GET ANY WORSE

FUTURE gallowsCalibrator [CGC] 63 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FGC: DONT WORRY 1T G3TS SO MUCH WORS3

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 96 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

FCG: DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS FIC, YOU WILL FUCKING REGRET IT. I KNOW YOU ARE THE BIGGEST HALFWITTED, SCUMBAG IN THE ENTIRETY OF ALL EXISTENCE BUT FOR THE HATE OF ALL THAT INSTILLS OUR RIGHTEOUS ANGER, PLEASE DO NOT READ THAT FANFICTION.

CCG: OH LOOK WHAT THE REFUSE BIN DRAGGED IN.

CCG: ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I’VE HAD THE PLEASURE OF TALKING TO THE ASSHOLE THAT IS FUTURE ME. I ALMOST FORGOT HOW MUCH WORSE YOU ARE COMPARED TO PAST ME.

FTG: omfg is he arguing with himself

FGC: MOR3 L1K3 FL1RT1NG

CGC: SO H3 ST1LL DO3S TH4T?

FGC: 4PP4R4NTLY

FTG: thats kinda sad

FTG: Sad

FTG: im gonna go give nubs a hug

FTG: byyyyeeeee

FTG: ceased responding to memo.

FAG: I’m going to get out of here before Karkat starts hate 8anging himself.

CCG: FUCK YOU, SERKET

FAG ceased responding to the memo.

CCG: WAIT,  LALONDE ISN’T SERIOUSLY GOING TO COME OVER HERE AND HUG ME, IS SHE?

FCG: HAHA WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

FCG ceased responding to memo.

CCG: FUTURE ME IS SUCH A FUCKING TOOL.

CCG: I NEED TO GO HIDE FROM STRIDER’S DERANGED HUMAN LUSUS.

CCG ceased responding to memo.

FGC: GU3SS TH4T JUST L34V3S US 4G41N

CGC: DO3S SH3 R34LLY HUG H1M?

FGC: M4YB3







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