Back! I managed to persuade Patch's cute assistant not to raise an alarm, and instead sit quietly and watch~ Thanks for watching over me, Koa!

Anyway, I had ficition to laugh at, didn't I? Next up is 'The Scarlet Flame', which has something to do with Flan and Remi's cousins. Both chapters together are about six tiny paragraphs in total, so the amount of effort put in this is staggeringly underwhelming~ Well, let's get this 'story' out of the way, hm?

It was a dark, eerie night in the world gensokyo.

Outside World gets 'dark and stormy', we get 'Dark, eerie'. I think we win!

All of the people were fast asleep all around while the vampire noble came around the area.

Oh come now, Vampires aren't the only nocturnal creatures around? What about little Mysty~?

"SISTER! OI BIG SISTER," A young girl greeted to the vampire,

And now I'm imagining a rather brutish child zero respect for her sibling in place of Flandre :-(

"a young girl just came into sight with my wings! Her wings were a little diffre-"

And I fail to see the sense in whatever is being said here. Huh. Flandre tends to be incredibly clear and detailed whenever I speak with her. Oh yeah, should probably tell Koa I'll be visiting Flan later~

Tee hee, her squeals of excitement are so cute!

"Flandre! how did you get out of the basement!" Said the older one with a sharp tang in her voice.

No need to sound like you don't want Flan around! Jeez, this is a terrible portrayal!

As a side note, I hate having a sharp tangy sensation in my throat.

"pachirisu told me to go straight to you… and even sakura was too busy to tell you… she was like 'Tell remilia to get over here as quickly as possible to welcome this guest.'"

Huh, I wasn't aware Remi had a Pokemon! Note to self: Ask Koa where she keeps it.

Also, when was Sakuya replaced? I thought she was rather well liked around here.

"hmmmm… this could be our cousin returning from the non magic world…

Logical conclusion, really~ After all, I'm sure there's absolutely no one in Gensokyo currently who visit.

alright ill head back. Meanwhile you head back to your basement before you cause trouble…"

My! Was Remi always so supportive?

One thrilling chapter down, onto the next~

Walking into the mansion for the first time, witch was a pretty shocking sight, to my sisters mansion

Oh, what's this? A continuity error already? But it's really only been one sentence since they were established as cousins!

thrilled me to the bone. Holding a parasol as black as crow I stepped into the castle like structure they called the scarlet mansion.

And already we know more about the parasol than we do about this character. Not that mind, parasols are nice ^.^ Oh yeah, I was gonna buy the one Kourin has. Another thing on my list to do~

"Welcome cousin of my master," a human greeted hair grey as someone that was older than my old grandmother

Well, Sakuya's hair is silver, so perhaps this isn't a misspelling after all!

" my name is sakura, I am suppose to guide you around the mansion you'll be living in for the next week."

Quality of writing could definitely use work, though~

"Thank you miss sakura." I politely dipped, it was the only human I met that wasn't entirely wanting to kill me in years

I wonder if people want her dead because she's no doubt a terrible character? Well, hard to judge, since we're already on the final written sentence of this whole story~

"I am shocked my sister even has a human for a personal maid." Sakura gazed at me with a polite gaze before she heads into the real main part of the main part.

The redundancy of that redundant statement was so redundant it transcends barriers of redundancy to become a non-redundant sentence filled with non-redundancy. Was that witty, Koa? LOL, she's trembling~ With laughter, obviously XD

Well, that's the end of that thrilling tale. Since it was so hilariously tiny, I think we can just move onto the next one, hm~

Ah, here we go! 'Life and Happiness'! A story involving Kleptosame and Cute little Alice~ Who, I've noticed, has terrible luck with portrayal in fictional media. Poor girl...

Anyway!

"This isss sooo boring!" The witch shouted in boredorm as she flew around the forest.

I think the author is subtly hinting that Kleptosame is bored~

"Ah-ha! I know!" Marisa flew to the Forest of Magic and spotted the house. "I'll just give her a surprise! Heehee..."

Hm, I wonder what fiendish and nefarious plot Kleptosame has in mind~

Slowly jumping off her broom and tiptoeing towards the ordinary looking house. She knocked onto the door quickly and moved to the side quickly to avoid being seen.

Marisa Kleptosame: Expert Thief, Cute Witch, and Totally Awesome Ninja~ Is that how she always breaks in and escapes with your books, Koa?

"This will be sooo hilarious..." Marisa sniggered under her breath as she went into her scaring stance. "On three... One...", she heard footsteps.

I think you can all trust me when I say there's no official 'scaring stance'. The closest you'll probably get is 'silly pose'~

"Two...", the sound of the door opening. "ZEEEE!"

Oh hey, her verbal tic was actually a number all along! Or is it her scare cry? Hm...

"BOOO!"

"AHHHHH!" The blond doll maker screamed in fright as she stumbled backwards, landing on her bum.

Never knew Alice was so easy to scare~ Maybe I'll give it a try?

Beside her lay a petrified and scared-to-death Shanghai.

And here I thought Alice still hadn't created a truly sentient doll~ Also, I think I can describe Koa's state with that sentence right now. Wonder what she's so scared of?

"Wahaaahaaaa! Gotcha~" Marisa pointed at the dead Alice as she was breathing deeply.

The dead Alice is breathing deeply. Let that sink in for a moment. Then laugh relentlessly!

"Haaahaaa! How was that ze? Your face was PRICELESS harrharr!"

Now imagine pirate Kleptosame laughing.

"Why you...Grrr! You... You..." Alice shouted in her mind.

I'm quite sure the dead think no thoughts~ Until the reach the Sanzu. Or ghost-hood in general.

"Why you F***ING B****! YOU JUST WAIT TILL I KICK YOUR GODDAMN A** AND SHAVE ALL OF YOUR HAIR OFF!" Alice shouted at the top of her lungs, so loud that Marisa was shooken.

Can't blame Kleptosame for being all shooken~ After all, since when as L'il Alice ever screamed and cussed like that? Shinki would be so ashamed!

(At the Supreme Court)

"Is it me or did i just heard someone scream?" Shikieki muttered while she gave a wierd face.

And now I must decide exactly what weird face would be funny on Miniyama. Because it was too much work for this poor author.

(Back to the scene yo!)

"Oooohhh... Scareh...!.. Um.. Cya!"

Now why would Marisa say 'kyah' as a form of goodbye?~

Marisa quickly get her broom and immediately zoomed off to somewhere in the speed of light.

Blazin' Star your way outta there, Kleptosame!

"Achem... Ack- hem... Ok, back to my work. Dammit." Alice talked to herself as she closed the door and went back to her room. "Oh wait,"

This is so not Alice it might actually kill real Alice to read this!

Alice Margatroid walked out of the house and muttered a spell. The house was suddenly surrounded by a yellow barrier. "Ok, this will do. Anti-homo sapiens witch barrier!" Alice exclaimed in delight as she placed her hands on her waist, looking at her own house with victory.

Now no one can mount a terrible excuse for a scare attempt on her! Truly, she is untouchable!

Alice walked past the barrier and entered her house. As she stepped in, she saw Shanghai "dead" on the floor.

Poor doll lost the life it never truly had. If it dies of fright so easily, I don't think giving her life is a good idea~

*Look at the section below the Glossary and theres a additional Infomartion about the barrier. I highlighted it so you wont get troubled!

Ah, you mean the glossary two lines away and the relevant sentence about six lines away? Sure am glad you're here to help guide me!

"Ack-hem." Alice signaled a bunch of dolls that she had. "Her, get,hospital,now."

Still no idea what that's supposed to be~ And I never knew dolls could be treated at a hospital.

Alice pointed at the fainted shanghai and the dolls nodded. They get hold of Shanghai and brought it to Alice's workplace ant style. (Like you see ants get food? They hold the food ontop and them below Xd (like parade)

Thank you for your terrible explanation, author person~

And now, role call for characters we already know!

("Glossary")

Shikieki Yamaxanadu: The judge of hell

Alice Margatroid : The loner

Marisa Kirisame : The witch?

Kleptosame is most definitely a witch, yes.

Shanghai : Alice's partner? Pet? Whatever.

Her doll.

Dolls: Dolls

Much like these ones, yes!

Me: I had fun writing this! -w-

And I had fun mocking it :3

Alice: I bet my barrier will work! Only I can see the barrier! No one can! I will pwn that damn witch! Just you wait... Just you wait... Cackle Cackle*

D'aaaaw, Alice is using words she can't possibly know and is laughing maniacally.

Me: Um... Anyway... Cya next time! Peace! :3

Marisa: What bout me?

I might see you soon enough, Kleptosame! Just schedule your excursion for today!

Well, break time! Better tell Patch her assistant is still dead or something~ Be right back!