Our Fiction Script

Just a fun little topic to write scenes with us as the characters.

Forum Sagas Abridged!
 
Starter Saga:
 
Flame: Boy, I'm sure glad we ditched those idiots on Naruto Forums.
 
Mamo: Yes.
 
Random: Indeed!
 
Emo: Indubitably!
 
David: From this point forward, we should be idiot free!
 
Spidey: Hi there! Can I join your forum?
 
Emo: Who is this person and how did they find us?
 
Flame: Emo, it's Spidey. From Ask a Dumb Question.
 
Emo: Oh, hi Spidey.
 
--
 
Spidey: Wow, this place has so many RPs! They even have an Inception RP, and that movie hasn't even been out very long! They must get posts like, every day!
 
Flame: Uh, hey, spidey, we don't actually get that much activity....
 
Spidey: I'M GOING TO MAKE SO MANY RPS! -and so many terrible RPs were made-
 
 
--
 
Spidey: So, Flame...-grin-  
 
Flame: What are you grinning about?
 
Spidey: Oh, nothing, I just saw something interesting near the bottom of the forum...
 
Flame: Oh dear god no...
 
Spidey: So...lapdance, eh?
 
Flame: -facepalm- WE WERE YOUNG! AND FOOLISH! AND WE STOPPED CAUSE SHIRO'S MOM ALMOST CAUGHT HER!
 
Spidey: Oh god, everything you say just makes this more hilarious!
 
--
 
Meanwhile, on Bleach RPG
 
Spidey: Everyone, this is flame!
 
Flame: Hello, crazy people! I heard about you guys from Spidey, and I thought it might be interesting to meet the crazy...
 
Spidey: ...CRAZY NICE PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM, AM I RIGHT?
 
Gub: Nice to meet you! I'm sure this isn't the lead in to a story arc.
 
SomeDouche: this plaze suxors. come join my cool RP!
 
Flame and Spidey and Gub: Lets troll this motherfucker.
 
Tom: Trolling? I want in on this shit.
 
--
 
Later, on SomeDouche's RP!
 
Spidey: Meet my totally male friend Flame! -wink-
 
Flame: Whats up bros? I have a penis and stuff! By the way Spidey, how is that femaleness of yours? Still also a lesbian which this guy hates? -wink-
 
 
Spidey: -writes a YoroSoi post- Trolololol...-deleted- GUUUUUUB.
 
Gub: Bad douche! No banning Spidey! she's trying to help you!
 
Somedouche: RAWR! YURI BAD! ALSO, WRITE ME KENPACHI ROMANCE!
 
--
 
Spidey: We're having so much fun trolling...er...helping this person to become a better RPer through trolling.
 
Gub: That's the spirit!
 
Spidey: Soon we shall enact a troll so great that it will be written in the history books and no future troll will ever be able to top it! A TROLL THAT THE TRICKSTER GODS OF MYTHOLOGY THEMSELVES WILL FIND PRICELESS!
 
--
 
Spidey: -prepares epic troll involving slingshot, banana, icy hot, and YoroSoi posts-
 
Somedouche: -conspicuously absent-
 
Spidey: ...he's gonna get here any minute now to bitch about stuff.
 
--
 
Flame: ...and so, we never saw him again.
 
Spidey: Come to think of it, we did spend a lot of time and energy on that troll, only for him to disappear in the middle of it.
 
Flame: Yeah, one has to wonder if he disappeared on purpose.
 
-both laugh, then stop-
 
Spidey:...you don't think that he was...
 
Flame: ...trolling us the whole time?
 
-absolute silence-
 
--
 
Meanwhile, in the Bleach RP...
 
-SO MUCH FUCKING DRAMA HAPPENS THAT YOU NEED A CHART TO UNDERSTAND WHO IS PISSED AT WHO FOR WHAT-
 
--
Back in Random Roleplay...
 
Spidey: You know, I like how we haven't had any major arguments or drama in this RP. At least, as long as I've been here.
 
Flame: Yeah, it's pretty silly for an RP forum to be filled with drama. I mean, what, are they going to argue over who has the hax-est character?
 
Spidey: -ackward laugh- Yeah, what kind of forum would have that? Or, even sillier, letting some creeper cause a bunch of drama cause you didn't tell the right mod about him being a creeper till a bunch of drama had ensued. Wouldn't someone have to be a complete idiot to do that? I need to go start drinking.
 
Flame: Drama with another RPG?
 
Spidey: Yeah. Ah well, at least I don't have to worry about silly internet drama here. Noone here is going to start up a bunch of drama. Especially not over something as stupid as an internet relationship.
 
Cathy: Hi there! Can I join your forum?

Magical Girl Lyrical Ran-chan

Tom: *picks up script* *skims over it* Do I really have to say all this bullshit about people and their feelings? 

Flame: You're the narrator, so yes, yes you do.

Tom: But I don't do 'feelings'. Can I just... summarize it?

Flame: *sigh* Fine, do what you want.

Tom: Ahem, tits, tits, balls, and my giant dick. Those are the only things people should be feeling.

Flame: ...  

Tom:  

Flame: I give up.

----

Random: Wait, why am I the hero? D=

Flame: Don't question, just do.

Random: Can't Emo be the hero?

Flame: Emo? In a white frilly dress? She'd kill me in my sleep with a rusted butcher knife, cutting into my neck the blood oozing out....

Random: O3O;;;

Flame: Then she'll feed my body to her devil spawn for nourishment, there probably won't be a single part of me left... well maybe a finger...

Random: I-I get it. Please don't describe it anymore, I don't want to dream about it. ;A;

Flame: So you'll be the hero?

Random: Yes...

Flame: Good, now get out there and do your scene!

----

Random: Wolfie, do you have any plans for the future?

Wolfie: Eh, I'll probably take over the family business. Though I kinda want to run my own wolf preserve.  

Random: *thoughts: Are there even wolves in Japan?* So uh... what about you Spidey?

Spidey: I'm gonna be a mecha pilot, of course! *puffs out chest proudly*

Random: *thoughts: That's even more impossible than the wolf preserve!* Okay then, anyway, I'm not really sure what I want to do for the futu- *pauses* I'm 9, why am I caring about my future again?

Flame: It doesn't matter, just run with it!

Random: Fine. I don't know what I want to do for the future. *completely unenthusiastic voice*

Wolfie: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll figure something out.

Random: If you say so. *sigh*

---

*Later that day Random, Wolfie, and Spidey are walking through the park as they head home*

Help me...

Random: *pauses* Did you guys hear something?

Wolfie: I didn't hear anything.

Spidey: Huh? What? Sorry, I was too busy plotting how to get you and Wol- er.. I mean. Nope, didn't hear a thing.

Random: ... Must have been the wind.

Help me, please. I'm begging you...

Random: o3o;; Okay that's not the wind. Uhm, I'll be right back guys. *runs off*

Spidey: Wonder what's up with her.

Wolfie: *shrugs*

STUFF I FORGOT TO PUT IN THE LAST CHAPTER!

Flame: Hey Spidey, you should read Hayate Cross Blade! It's awesome!

Spidey: Um...ok. -reads it- BEST THING EVER! Next to Gurren Lagann!

Flame: Gurren Lagann?

Spidey: You should try watching it!
 
Flame: Well, I don't know much about giant robots but... -watches it- BEST THING EVER!

Spidey: I should read more yuri.

Flame: I might possibly do something involving giant robots in the future.

Spidey: I should seek out something that combines this yuri stuff with giant robots!

(And then Spidey became a Diebuster fan. And later, a Gunbuster fan. And still won't shut up about it.)

--

FORUM ABRIDGED: THE CATHY SAGA (Pt1)

--

On Ask A Dumb Question

Spidey: RYUSHI! FROM HELL'S HEART, I STAB AT THEE!

Ryushi:...it's just an RP, dude.

Spidey: And you keep godmoding in it!

David: Let us join our armies together and defeat him!

Magey: Let us throw down the godmoding tyrant!

Kage: An alliance with my eternal rival? I want in on this shit!

Makai: I shall fight with Ryushi-kun, not that I like him or anything!

Ryushi: I guess I'll have to crush you guys or whatever. -hairflip-

--

On Random Roleplay

Cathy: Oh Flame, so good to get so close to you.

Spidey: Hello, new person. I see you're getting close to Flame. I might have to ship you two together if you aren't careful!

Flame: Spidey, Cathy would be into that.

Cathy: YES! SHIP ME WITH FLAME! I AM DEFINATELY INTO THAT! <3

Spidey: Uh...ok then. Surely nothing bad can come of joke shipping two people.

Cathy: Oh Fleimu, soon we shall come together as one for all eternity.

Flame: Such a funny joke.

Spidey: The new person has such a great sense of humor.

Cathy: Yes... humorous. o.o

--

Magey: Ok, our initial plan to take down Ryushi has failed due to some rather silly plot events.

Spidey: At least you got to spank Makai into oblivion?

Kage: It is time to form an even more devious plan to bring about his destruction!

Ryushi: -disappears before the brilliant plan can be brought about-

--

Spidey: So anyway, that's why I'm no longer allowed in the state of 9hio... wait, where'd that nine come from?

Flame: Spidey is possessed by the spirit of Cirno!

Cathy: Soon he shall be freezing frogs and picking fights he can't win!

Spidey: Who is this Cirno person?

Cathy: Touhou character.

Spidey: What's Touhou? -checks it out- BEST THING EVER! Oh, by the way, I found this awesome sort-of yuri thing you should check out!

Cathy: What is the name of this thing?

Spidey: Oh, it's called Diebuster. I plan to RP Nono in the future cause she's made of awesome.

Cathy: yuri and giant robots? -checks out Diebuster-...BEST THING EVER!

--

Spidey: So, Cathy, we both want to make a big crossover thing with all our RP characters!

Cathy: Yeah! I was thinking there could be a cosmic being that captures them all and...

Spidey: ...forces them to run through a labyrinth and overcome challenges and such.

Cathy: Ooh, that idea sounds much more RPable than what I was going to say! What's her motivation?

Spidey: She...wants to be entertained? Boredom?

Cathy: Ooh, that works well with my original idea.

Spidey: Anyway, we could totally Co-GM this! I have so many ideas for this maze-area that are just going to be so awesome... maybe force our characters to work together at some point.

--

Cathy's Character: EVERYBODY FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

*RP dies

--

Spidey: Hey Cathy, may I join that Touhou RP you made with Flame?

Cathy: Sure!

Flame: Your character can be my character's sister! Cathy, mind making a love interest for our characters? We can totally have a triangle thing going on!

Cathy: That sounds fun, I guess. RPing yuri with the person love RPing with the most...and Spidey.

Spidey: yay! This can't go wrong!

--

Cathy's Character: MAGGOT! GET ON THE GROUND AND EAT DIRT BEFORE YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME!

Spidey's Character: Seriously? That's a little extreme...

Cathy's Character: START EATING THAT DIRT, FILTH BEAST! -turns to Flame's character- Oh Flame's character, I'm sorry you had to see this! Tis such a waste of good dirt in front of a fine lady like yourself.

Spidey's Character: Ok, fuck this bullshit. Flame's Character! You got any plans Friday night? Cause I'm suddenly up for some incest!

--

Flame: -attempting to read a book-

Cathy: -suddenly standing within Flame's personal space-

Flame: HOLY MADOKA WTF?

Cathy: LETS MAKE A BABY!

Flame: Eh?

Cathy: Well, you have a forum baby with Phazon! And Emo has a forum baby with someone! And Mamo and Random have a forum baby together...

Random: CLONE! IT'S A CLONE! NO EXCHANGE OF FLUIDS WAS REQUIRED!

Mamo: But random, what about our sweet, passionate nights?

Random: THERE WAS NOTHING SWEET AND PASSIONATE INVOLVED!

Cathy: And Spidey has a forum baby with...himself? I think? Or something?

Spidey: She's from the future or something. I dunno, I made her for an RP!

Flame: Well, I guess if you're going to keep pestering me, sure, wtf not?

Cathy: Huzzah! A baby with Fleimu! It is destiny!

Flame: Why am I already regretting this?

--

Cathy: Soon Fleimu shall be mine, and mine alone! I don't have even a hint of competition amoung these fools! She is sure to fall deeply and madly in love with me! 

Molly: Hi there! I'm joining your forum. Where's the yuri?

(TO BE CONTINUED!)

STUFF THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE LAST CHAPTER!
 
Spidey: Random! I've decided you're my evil apprentice/unpaid intern of evil!
 
Random: whu...?
 
Spidey: WAKE UP EARLY, WE HAVE HAVOC TO WREAK!
 
Random: Muahaha?
 
Spidey: We can work on the laugh later!
 
--
 
FORUM ABRIDGED: THE CATHY SAGA (continued)
 
Spidey: So, new person, I have a very important question for you. Do you like yuri and or giant robots?
 
Molly: -arms around nearest female- As a matter of fact, I do...wait, what's that about giant robots?
 
Spidey: -introduces Molly to Diebuster-
 
Molly: BEST THING EVER!
 
Emo: can you take your arms elsewhere?
 
Molly: Well, I could, but that would be sexual harassment.
 
Cathy: I think she and I are going to get along great. o.o
 
--
 
Molly: -puts arms around Flame- Hey good-lookin' how about you and I...
 
Flame: -ignores- Not going to happen.
 
Molly: Dang it.
 
Cathy:...I need to go stab things. o.o
 
Spidey: Oh Cathy, you and your yandere jokes, so funny. Say, what's with the emote?
 
Cathy: I'm looking into your soul. o.o
 
Spidey: Oh, that's...um...nice. -backs away-
 
Cathy: Souls are so interesting.
 
--
 
Cathy: -dances around- SEE ME NOTICE ME DONCHA WANNA KNOW ME?
 
Molly: Hey everyone, lets go write yuri and stuff!
 
Everyone: Sure, whatever. -walks off-
 
Cathy: LOOK AT ME DAMN IT!
 
--
 
Molly: So, we gonna make some more yuri RPs?
 
Flame: Well, I have an idea for a slash idea involving Feudal Japan...
 
Spidey: BRILLIANT! TRULY THIS IDEA WILL BE SO AWESOME THAT WE SHALL MAKE SEVERAL REBOOTS AND SPINOFF RPS! IT'LL BE THE BIGGER THAN CHEESED-JESUS!
 
-RP dies-
 
Flame: Well, I've also got this idea for a Medieval RP...
 
Spidey: It'll never catch on!
 
--
 
Cathy Strawberry: Hewwo, will you all be my fwiends? I'm an adorable little girl who just so happens to know Cathy! She's the best person ever and if anyone here were to be romantically involved with her they'd be lucky!
 
Spidey: You seem trustworthy!
 
David: Welcome to the forum!
 
Cathy: Well hello Strawberry, fancy meeting you here!
 
Strawberry: Hello, amazing cool-girl!
 
Random: uh, guys, you realize that's a sockpuppet controlled by Cathy, right?  
 
Spidey: Naw, don't be silly! If Strawberry is a sockpuppet, how come she and Cathy never talk at the same time?
 
David: Yeah! Plus, Cathy would never accept hugs from me! -hugs Cathy's arm Strawberry- 
 
Random: David, seriously, you're hugging Cathy's arm. How can you not see that?
 
David: Nah, Cathy would be stabbing me right now.
 
Cathy: -arm twitches towards knife-
 
Spidey: Silly Random is silly.
 
Random: -facepalms...just....facepalms so much-
 
--
 
Flame: We tracked Strawberry's IP address. Strawberry was a sockpuppet.
 
Spidey: GASP!
 
David: WHO COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS?
 
Random:...Flame, we're surrounded by idiots.
 
Flame: I know random. I know.
 
--
 
Cathy: Fleimu, now that we got that silly sockpuppet misunderstanding out of the way, is there any chance that maybe you and I could possibly...
 
Flame: Cathy, there is something very wrong with your head, and I feel sorry for you. The answer is no.
 
Cathy: It's ok, I understand. I shouldn't have been such a creeper.
 
Flame: Good to see your taking it well.
 
--
 
Cathy: LIFE IS A PIT OF DESPAIR! BABY OMNOMNOM!
 
Spidey: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
 
Flame: Ok, I am officially creeped the fuck out.
 
--
 
Cathy: I'm out of my funk now! sorry about that whole baby-eating thing. It was just a joke! See! it was...um...-retcon no jutsu- all an illusion! she's fine! Everything's fine!
 
Flame: Uh, Cathy, seriously, what was with that?
 
Spidey: Oh no. My drama senses are tingling. M-maybe I can avoid the drama if I just act like nothing is wrong...
 
Cathy: I'M LEAVING FOREVER! -leaves for a short period-
 
--
 
Cathy: I'M RETURNING! I'M TOTALLY BETTER NOW!
 
Spidey: Oh good, maybe the drama is over. Maybe there's not going to be fights and arguments and people doing stupid things to eachother...
 
David: lol, I found Flame's address online.
 
Cathy: -would probably show up on Flame's doorstep if she wasn't busy with aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangst- Nobody loves me everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat babies....
 
--
 
Cathy: I'M LEAVING FOREVER!
 
Spidey: OH COME ON!
 
Cathy: Spidey, someone told me to lay off Flame and so I'm leaving forever to give that person room...
 
Spidey: But you didn't even really have a chance with...
 
Cathy: DON'T BEG ME TO TELL YOU WHO IT WAS! EVEN THOUGH I'M SURE YOU TOTALLY WANT TO KNOW! I MEAN, IT'S INTERESTING, PERTINENT INFORMATION! THAT I WOULD ONLY BE TELLING YOU! BUT I SHALL NOT, SO DO NOT BEG ME! NO MATTER HOW EASILY I MIGHT BE CONVINCED TO TELL YOU!
 
Spidey: Well, I guess I am kind of curious; but if you say you don't want to tell me; then I shall respect tha...
 
Cathy: VERY WELL! YOU TALKED ME INTO IT! THE PERSON YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY AT IS...
 
Spidey: on second thought, I'm not that curious. Goodbye Cathy.
 
Cathy: GOODBYE FOREVER, OLD FRIEND!
 
--
 
Spidey: So, Cathy sent me some stuff on why she's leaving forever...
 
Flame: She sent us all the same thing.
 
Spidey: ...is she trying to turn us against each other or something?
 
Flame: most likely.
 
Spidey: FUCK CATHY! FUCK CATHY'S BULLSHIT! AND FUCK THE HORSE SHE RODE IN ON! AND FUCK THE GROUND THAT HORSE WAS GALLOPING ON!
 
-Cathy gets banned-
 
Cathy: NOOOOOOO! DON'T BAN ME, THEN I WON'T BE ABLE TO COME BACK AFTER DRAMATICALLY LEAVING FOREVER!
 
--
 
New person: Hi there!
 
Spidey: Hello, new person. Welcome to the forum.
 
David: Good to have a new face around here after all that Cathy drama.
 
New Person: Wow, you have a fanfiction section! I'm going to go write something in it. -leaves-
 
Spidey: Perhaps this is the end of the drama...maybe now we can start over and put all that Cathy stuff behind us.
 
Random: Uh, Spidey, we checked the new person's IP address and...well, it's Cathy.
 
Spidey: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T SHE JUST GO AWAY FOR EVER AND STAY GONE? I'M SO SICK OF FORUM DRAMA! SO FUCKING SICK OF IT!
 
-New Person gets banned-
 
---
 
Meanwhile, in the fanfiction Topic....
 
 
Cathy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FLAME DOESN'T LOVE ME! EVERYONE IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
 
--
 
Spidey: Well, glad we're finally done with forum drama. Forever.
 
Flame: Why do you keep saying things like that?
 
Tvtropes: Hi there!

*Ran runs into a clearing where she finds a collapsed ferret*
Ran: Oh no. *moves up to the ferret* I've got to get you he-
*the ferret dives into Ran's shirt and snuggles against her chest*
Ran: Aw, that's so cute... wait a minute. Who's playing the ferret?
Mamo: Hi!  
Ran: FUCK NO. *grabs ferret and throws, Mamo becomes a speck in the sky* You did not tell me Mamo would be my magic animal companion!
Flame: Uh... must have slipped my mind. 
Ran: Then I quit.
Flame: Ah! Ah! You can't, you signed the contract. *holds up said contract*
Ran: .... You told me that was a sign up sheet for free coffee!

----

*later at dinner with her family*
Ran: So mommy, I found this really disgu- er... cute ferret and I was wondering if I could keep it? *thoughts: Pleasesayno.*
David: I don't know, honey. A pet is a huge responsibility. Are you sure you're ready for that?
Ran: *thoughts: ohthankgod* I guess you're ri-
Flame: Nonsense! Let the girl have the ferret. It'll be the perfect puni- I mean trai- errr experience! That's it! The perfect experience she'll need.
Ran: No daddy why! 
*Flame and David stare at her*
Ran: Oops, I was supposed to think that. I mean, thank you daddy!

---

Ran: Okay Mamo, you see this? *points to duck tape in the middle of the room* This is the magic anti-pervert wall. If you so much as cross it, you will get flattened by a frying pan... by me.
Mamo: Awww... 
Ran: Now can you do your magical companion exposition thing so we can get this over with?
Mamo: Nope. :3
Ran: Why not?
Mamo: Because I didn't read the script. I'm just here to ogle your transformation sequence.
Ran: ... *throws the script at him*

----

*later, a bruised Mamo is now reading directly from the script*
Mamo: Ahem, I am the archaeologist, Mamo-kun. My job is to find powerful ancient panties for further study and sniffing. 
Ran: Wait what.
Mamo: *continues* I had recently found multiple pairs of particularly strong panties and was planning to take them back home when my ship was attacked. Now the panties are scattered all over this city and could wreck havoc if we we don't find them in time!
Ran: ... *snatches script* That's not how it was written! It's supposed to be Lost Logia!
Mamo: *grins* I know, I just thought I'd spice it up a bit.
Ran: *just facepalms*

---

Mamo: Well?
Ran: Well what?
Mamo: Are you gonna help me find the panties?
Ran: It's Lost Logia and no!
Flame: Ahem. *points to contract*
Ran: ... Fine, I'll help.
Mamo: Oh good, because my pervert senses are telling there's a pair nearby that just turned into a monster.
Ran: *sarcastically* Great. Sigh... at least I'll finally get to fight something.
Mamo: Actually, the episode is about to end. So you'll have to wait till next episode to fight it!
Ran: WHAT. NO. WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO THE MAGICAL GIRL PART OF MAGICAL RA- *gets cut off* *episode ends*

THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE LAST EPISODE!
 
Flame: Well, it seems Cathy really is a yandere. Imagine that. Any suggestions to get her off my back?
 
Molly: We're going to need a cunning plan to get you out of this. Perhapse if we were to convince her that you're actually her long lost sister!
 
David: I don't think that would stop her. Maybe if Flame grew a beard, Cathy would be instantly repelled by the evil power of...facial hair!
 
Flame: That'd never work! I'd wake up in the middle of the night to find Cathy standing over me with a razor and the beard missing!
 
Molly: Perhaps if we hid Flame in a cardboard box?
 
David: Maybe one of us should pretend to have a huge crush on you; and then tell her to back off?
 
Flame: BRILLIANT!
 
David: I see absolutely no flaw in this plan!
 
--
 
Moments later....
 
David: -running from a chainsaw-wielding Cathy- I NOW SEE FLAWS IN THIS PLAN!
 
--

FORUM ABRIDGED: THE TVTROPES ARC!

 
Spidey: So, I've noticed that this site I've frequented for years has these, like, forums! And my mind was like, totally blown!
 
Flame: Yeah, I occasionally post MSTs on those forums. Here's a link!
 
Spidey: Well, I don't see any harm in clicking that. -clicks link- There are a lot of MSTs on here, these people are awesome! I am considering joining this! -never joins- ...yeah, fuck joining. Imma go start my own MSTs instead.
 
Anno: Hi there!
 
Spidey:...that wasn't good comedic timing at all.
 
Anno: What?
 
Spidey: Nothing. Lets get this arc going already.
 
--
 
Your Party has expanded!
 
Anno Has joined the party!
 
Moe has joined the party!
 
Ragna has joined the party!
 
Shujiko Roxas has joined the party!
 
Tachi has joined the party!
 
Evilneko has joined the party!
 
Rain has joined the party!
 
Other people has joined the party!
 
Tom: New people? Fuck that shit.
 
--
 
Spidey: Oh, hi tvt people. I have an important question for each of you....do you like giant robots and/or yuri?
 
Anno: I guess?
 
Tachi: Kind of?
 
Moe: THAT IS TRULY THE MOST AWESOME OF COMBINATIONS!
 
Spidey: Moe, we are now bros. Congrats. GUNBUSTER IS THE MOST AWESOME ANIME EVER, RIGHT?
 
Moe: HELL YEAH IT IS!
 
Flame: This is going to be a long story arc.
 
--
 
Tachi: -frequently turned into a loli-
 
Anno: -frequently accused of being a loli to begin with-
 
Evilneko: -is a lolicon-
 
-loli jokes get made a lot-
 
--
 
Meanwhile, drama happens on Tvtropes.
 
Anno: FAST EDDIE IS THE DEVIL! RAWR!
 
Spidey: who is Fast Eddie?
 
Anno: Some idiot that hates anime and wants to edit all the anime tropes away cause he thinks the site has too many otaku.
 
Spidey: Huh. he sounds like a total asshole. Don't see how that's such a big deal though...
 
Anno: He's an Admin.
 
Spidey: Ah.
 
Anno: Also the people I RP with are assholes; I hope you don't mind if I talk about that?
 
Spidey: Long as you don't do it frequently and endlessly.
 
--
 
Spidey: There are RPs on Tvtropes?
 
Flame: Yeah, but they move a bit more frequently than you're used to...
 
Spidey: I'M GOING TO JOIN EVERYTHING! ^_^
 
--
 
Moments later...
 
Spidey: -attempting to catch up in five roleplays at once- Ok, this was not a good idea. Maybe  should just make my own crossover? That can't be too hard, right?
 
--
 
-"Big Damned Crossover" happens-
 
--
Spidey: -huddles in a fetal position as his RP burns- I can fix this. I can fix this. I can fix this...
 
--
 
Spidey: Fuck GMing. I'm never doing it again. NEVER! -would later go on to GM Shonen Wars during it's short life-
 
Flame: Yeah, maybe you shouldn't give up GMing as much as do a better job next time?
 
Spidey: Well, anyway, I've got to go back to Colorado to go get some stuff we had to leave over there. I'll be sure to bring my laptop so I can RP if I get the chance. -forgets to bring his computer like a dumbass-
 
(To Be Continued)

Last time on Forum Abridged...

(Insert "Wayward Son" here)

Carry on my Wayward Sooooon...

Spidey: -talking to Flame- Saving people, hunting things, the family business!

Flame: I have to kill Anno to stop her from freeing the breaking the final seal to free Rain! Moe said so! -attempting to snort demon blood while he talks- Oh fuck killing her freed Rain, my bad!

Spidey: Damn it Flame! I'm done hunting monsters with you! Im gonna go hunt monsters over there!

Flame: Well I'm going to go be normal over here!

-one episode later-

Flame: So, turns out the world is ending; and the devil wants my body.

Spidey: Turns out, saving the world is hard. Want to team up again!

Flame: Thought you'd never ask! So how do we kill the devil?

Spidey: Well, we have a gun. And he's the devil. Lets try shooting him with our gun!

Rain: lol no sell. Also all your friends are dead now.

Flame: Wait, I can fix this! I'll just let Rain possess me, then jump in this hole!

Spidey: ... normally I'd argue that your life isn't worth stopping the devil but...fuck it I don't care anymore.

Flame: Promise me you'll marry that chick from that one episode! -jumps in the hole-

Spidey:...well, I can't ignore her last request.

Ragna:Hey Flame! Guess we stopped Rain from ending the world! I'm gonna go to heaven and make everything ok cause I'm awesome. Sorry I can't save your brother! Have a nice life!

Spidey: Everyone I know suuuucks.


Don't ya cry no more!

--

...None of that happened! But here's some crazy shit that did happen!

Tvtropes Arc Part 2!

--


Narrrator: During a time when the citizens of the forum were discovering skype; many things happened. Our heroes discovered that Kage had a cool robot voice; that Flame sounded sort of like Applejack (but not really) and that Rain ...

Rain: ...after the screaming stops, you start slowly shaving off the flesh. If you made sure it put the lotion on it's skin earlier...

Narrator:...Rain had issues. Of course, she wasn't the only one.

--

Anno: Flame! Flame! Ragna was mean to me! He said horribley mean things about me being stupid and horrible and I WANT HIS ASS BANNED! MAKE THE BAD PERSON GO AWAY FOREVER!

Flame:...Let me just talk to Ragna about those things he apparently said.

--

Flame: What the hell Ragna?

Ragna: -shows Flame what he actually said-

Flame...what the hell Anno?

Anno:...have you banned him yet?

Flame: I'm not banning anybody!

Anno:...the admin shows signs of weakness.

Flame: What was that?

Anno: Nothing, nothing!

--

Narrator: Slowly but surely, our heroes began to grow weary of these newcomers.

--

Spidey: Man, in this RP we're doing; we should totally continue shipping (female Gunbuster character) and (Other Female Gunbuster Character)

Molly: Yeah, that character and that other character totally want to bang eachother.

Moe: OBJECTION! Both of those characters clearly have male love interests! Furthermore, one of those love interests drives the plot!

Spidey:... Don't you ship both the leads from the sequel series together even though they've never actually stated they were more than friends?

Moe: Oh come on, (Diebuster character) and (Diebuster character) totally want to bang each other!

Molly: But (Gunbuster Character) and (Gunbuster Character)...?

Moe: LIES AND BLASPHEME!

Spidey:... good to know.

--

Narrator: It didn't help that they seemed to carry whatever drama they endured on other forums back with them.

Anno: So theres this person on this RP that wants me to make Nanoha suffer until she turns into a completely different character.

Moe: So there are these people on this forum on tvtropes that get creeped out whenever I post yuri.

Rain: So theres this person I really hate. He's joining the forum now.

K-Spam: Hi there!

-bickering ensues-
--

Narrator: Things only got worse from there. Rain in particular was not someone that got along well with people. Or animals. Or inanimate objects. She definitely did not get along with Magey.

-Rain and Magey are arguing over...something?-

Rain: Hey Magey, GO KILL YOURSELF!

Magey: You...you dick! How could you say that?

Anno: -is a mod for some fucking reason- Gasp! What a horrible thing to say!

Magey: I know right? She just up and told me to go...

Anno: Nobody disrespects Rain like that! -Magey gets banned-

Spidey: -misses the most fucked up parts of the argument somehow- Magey, calm down. getting upset won't do anything...

Magey: Calm down? -explains what an asshole Rain was to her-

Spidey: -fails to ban Rain cause dumbass moment-

--

K-Spam: Hey! I'm really upset with certain people who post on my forum! But I can't really get a word in edgewise over there! So I came here in the desperate hope that I could voice my grievances to them...

Spidey: Oh goddamn it more drama.

K-Spam: I honestly don't know what to do with them. Could someone come to talk with them maybe or...

Spidey: NO MORE FUCKING DRAMA! -bans K-spam for stupid reasons-

--

Narrator: Their tendency to betray their own didn't endear them to anyone either...

-so they're having trouble with someone by the penname of "Thunder"-

Ragna: Don't worry guys, I've got your back! -stands up to Thunder-

Anno:...I don't know that guy.

Moe: Who was he again?

Rain: -probably too busy attempting to skin an innocent puppy or something to care-

--

Flame: So we're all agreed that the terrible trio is the worst.

Ragna: Agreed.

David: Agreed.

Tom: Been saying they suck since the start!

Tachi: Oh so fucking agreed! man I hate those guys!

Flame: So I guess it's time for operation "Troll Them Till They Leave!"

Tachi: I am so on board with this plan! I'm with you guys all the way!

--

Narrator: But on another forum...

Tachi: So yeah, they all suck. Especially Tom. I can't believe they just let that guy stay around. Did you know he goes around telling people to kill themselves?

Rain: Wow, what an asshole.

David: -goes to that forum and calls them on their bullshit-Anno, go fuck yourself. Moe, go fuck yourself. Rain, go fuck yourself with a rusty dildo. Tachi, i'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but for that you'd have to have balls.

--

Narrator: From that point forward; the rift between the Terrible Trio (plus Tachi) and the rest of the forum grew and grew. It seemed that some kind of dramatic showdown between the two groups was inevitable. And then...

Moe: Hey guys, look, a new forum!

Anno: It's so shiny and different!

Rain: And nobody there knows about that orphan-skin rug in my basement!

-they just fucking leave without a big confrontation-

Narrator: Their actions after they left the forum are a story I don't care to tell. Suffice to say; they later became known on the web as "The Circlejerk Trio".

--

Spidey: So... I guess that wraps up yet another chapter of horrible people coming into our lives, and then leaving!

Flame: Spidey, please don't say anything like...

Spidey:...sure hope it's the last chapter.

Flame: ...that. Goddamn it Spidey.

Sin: Hi the...

Spidey: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SIN IT'S TOO FUCKING EARLY FOR YOU TO SHOW UP!

Sin: -just kind of walks away-

Spidey:... I honestly don't know how to end this chapter. So uh...see you in the Sin arc? I can do that next, right? I mean, there was nothing really noteworthy in between...

Lesbean: Hi there!

Spidey: You're not getting an arc!

Last time on Forum Abridged!
Kimyou: -somehow revives the forum-
Flame: -rejoins-
Spidey: -starts to warm up to the idea of reviving the forum-
Sin: -still a complete tool to everyone-
AND SO THE EXCITING ADVENTURE OF PEOPLE TYPING THINGS ON THE INTERNET CONTINUES!
Kimyou: Well, I've brought back the forum; and managed to bring back at least a few of the old posters. Now we just need something to do. -makes new claim RP-
Sin: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Finally a world for me to conquer! They shall be crushed by my army of fictional characters and KNEEL BEFORE ME!
In the Claim RP...
Sin: -attempts to crash a house party; fails-
Sin: -manages to recruit Glum as an ally; Glum immediately ditches him to ally herself with Flame-
Sin: -yells profanity at a little girl; gets beaten up by said little girl-
...and so on and so forth.
--
Kimyou: Hmmm, I should probably try to contact Chidori, and see if I can get him to make some more mods.
Chidori: You know that account I had? The one that I made the forum on? Yeah. I forgot my password. Sorry bro. -returns to whatever the fuck he's doing now-
Kimyou: Well shit. Wait! I have an account! With modship! And all you need to get into it is a penname and a password! -sends a few PMs-
--
Kimyou's PM: Spidey, you were once a mod. And should be one again. Here's my email and account password.
Spidey:...I'M GONNA BAN SO MANY... I mean. I'm gonna be such a responsible mod!
-Flame and David got the mod password too-
--
David: So I guess now we ban Sin?
Ragna: It's not like you guys have any reason not to keep him around. Plus, he's an asshole.
Spidey: Nah, that would pretty much easily resolve all of our problems, and we can't have that, can we?
Flame: He hasn't really DONE all that much. So lets give him three strikes. Not counting past misdeeds of course.
Everyone else: HOW IS SIN NOT BANNED YET? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS EVEN DOING?!
--
Sin: Yeah right, these bitches will never ban me.
Sin proceeded to lose two strikes in one day; and was day-banned as a warning.
Sin: Omigod please don't ban me I'll never do it again I promise!
-Sin somehow avoids permaban for a while after that-
--
Easty: So I'm going to be leaving the forum for a while. I know he's an insufferable douche; but try not to ban Sin while I'm gone. I don't want to come back to find this place dead.
Spidey: Well, we've somehow restrained ourselves from banning him thus far. He'd have to be pretty stupid to... why am I still talking?
--
Hotdog: The lobotomite speaks! -clearly making a reference-
Sin: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? -clearly missed the reference-
--
On one of the forum games...
Sin: I'M GOING TO RIP OUT HOTDOG'S INTESTINES AND FUCK HIM WITH THEM!
Spidey:...uh. How odd of you to share that.
--
Spidey: And that's seriously what he said.
David: Wow, seriously?
Spidey: Sometimes I wonder why we haven't banned him.
David: Spidey.
Spidey: Yes?
David: Lets ban him!
And so began their epic final showdown with ChaosDeadlySin
Spidey: -presses ban button- Done.
Flame: Damn it Spidey, I wanted to do it.

And so ended their epic final showdown with ChaosDeadlySin. Wow, that was anti-climactic as hell. Well, good thing that wasn't really the final showdown. Or this wouldn't be much of a story.
-some time later-
Spidey: -finds an empty forum with a few topics suspiciously similar to Ask a Dumb Question. A forum that Sin happens to be building- ...Wow. He is actually building his own Ask A Dumb Question. That is actually kind of sad. Maybe I should just unban him? -thinks about all the good times with Sin... then realizes there aren't any- Hell fucking no. -leaves-
And so, Sin was left to his own devices in his empty forum. A forum that happened to be called Gates of Doom.
Sin Saga End.
Narration: Next time on Forum Abridged!
The actual final showdown between Spidey and Sin! The final chapter of the Random Roleplay Saga that I'm actually going to bother writing!
Forum Abridged: Gates of Dumb
Coming soon to this forum.