The Owl Game: Crossover Edition

For those of you who don't know, which is all of you, this game is about sending each other letters. It's from a Harry Potter site, hence the owls. Here's an example: http://archiveofourown.org/works/35895

So, the format is

Spoiler:

(no spoilers in the actual posts plz)

Messages can be intercepted, but will always end up with the designated receiver.

I'm going for the feel in that there above fanfiction, but it has been done elsewhere, as you may have seen.

NOTE: THIS IS FOR CROSSOVERS. SEPERATE ONES WILL BE MADE

Edward Cullen,

One, two, Freddy's comin' for you. Three four, lock the door. Five, six grab a crucafix. seven, eight, we're stayin' up late. Nine, ten, Never sleep again.

Freddy.

Freddy,

The Fountain of Dreams turned black today. It's never done that before. Please stop killing so many people in nightmares, or I'll whup you with the Star Rod.

Kirby.

Kirby,

Come get some, you overgrown marshmellow.

Yours truly, Freddy.

Freddy,

You're mean! I'm gonna tell Dedede on you! And then he can squish you with his hammer when I'm done beating you up for being mean! And if you're still mean, we'll eat you!

Kirby.




Freddy,

Enclosed is a list of Kirby's abilities and weapons, including the "legendary" (Please, I stole the thing) Star Rod. Please beat him senseless for me.

King Dedede

Dedede,

Thank you for the information. I assure you that Kirby will be roasted marshmellows by tomorrow. After I deal with that damned Cullen family. And everyone who knows them. And all their fangirls. But not Stephanie Meyers, as apparantly her own relative has dibs on her head.

Freddy.

--

Dear Ms. Meyers

I am pleased to inform you that I will be paying you a visit soon. I was overjoyed to find out that I still had relatives alive. Look out your window, as by the time this letter arrives, i might already be there.

You're distant cousin several times removed, Michael.

Freddy,

I'm coming for you.

Shao Kahn.

P.S. You suck.

Dear Freddy,

The Cullens are MINE.

Angelus.

The Cullens

I regret to inform you that the American government has granted the Hellsing Orginization jurisdiction over supernatural occurrences in the US.

My vampire will be there to eat you shortly. Enjoy the rest of your incredibly short Unlives.

Signed, Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing

Integra,

But we're not vampires, we're...um...fairies. Yeah. No need to kill us horribly with an obsene amount of bullets. No siree. we just need animal blood for our..um...fairy rituals. Yeah. PLEASE DON'T KILL US I'M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!

Edward Cullen

--

Angelus,

Fine, but if you're goody-two-shoes emo bitch side comes out and decides not to murder the fuck out of the Cullens, I'm gonna finish them off. God damn that crappy novel. Oh, by the way, some zombie in a hockey mask is accusing you of being a sparkly vampire. He lives by Camp Crystal Lake, you should go kill his ass.

Freddy

--

Shao Khan,

All I have to say is "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! KHAAAAAAAAAAAN! KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Freddy

Dearest Mr. Fredrick,

Worry not. Daddy's in good hands. We won't be letting any silly little witches put his soul back. Rawr. Hockey masks, you say? That sounds...crunchy.

Druscilla

P.S. Ring around the rosy....

---

Integra,

The Cullens are mine. Send your pet over here and I'll sic the Slayer on him. Useful thing, having a Slayer in your pocket. Should have thought of it years ago. Ciao!

Angelus

Drucilla,

That hockey mask has been destroyed so many times now, I'm starting to think he's got a whole closet full of them.

When you're killing him, you should try smashing his mother's head. Yeah, he keeps it around. On some creepy-assed shrine. He's a colossal Mama's Boy.

Freddy

--

Angelus,

I would love to meet this Slayer of yours. Sick your slayer on me, sending fledglings, summon your familiars, I RELISH the challenge. Lets see if you live up to your reputation, Angelus. I for one, shall live up to mine. They didn't call me Vlad the Impaler for nothing.

Sincerely yours, Alucard

Pink ball of sociopathy

I'd ask you how you like your marshmellows roasted; but I don't think you're into cannibalism. Anyway, I hope you get a good night's sleep, cause I'm going to be up all night making you pray to your impotent marshmellow gods to wake you up.

Your Pal, Freddy

Freddy,

I killed the personification of nightmares itself. Bring it on, melted-face.

Kirby, PROTECTOR OF DREAMLAND.

---
Angelus,

Kill my servant as many times as you want. I think he gets off on that sort of thing, bloody masochist...

On a more formal note, supernatural phenomenon in the US are now under the jurisdiction of the Hellsing organization, so you WILL be terminated if you are found to be a werewolf/vampire/etc. Just fair to give you warning.

Sir Integra.

Ms. Hellsing,

Take sollace in the rain, child. It means that I am near. There are things worse than vampires and werewolves in this world; and you will be meeting one of them soon.

Sincerely, The Slim Gentleman

"Alucard",

You've got to get a better pseudonym. It's pathetic.

Angelus

Angelus,

It was assigned to me. Apparently "Dracula" just doesn't strike fear into anyone's hearts anymore. I blame Scooby Doo.

Alucard,

I recommend the title "Darth" for added effect.

Your neighborhood's Sith Lord, Vader

To: Freddy Krueger

Welcome to my world BITCH

From: Shao Khan

"Alucard"

You really have no one to blame for it but yourself. If you didn't act like such an overdramatic pansy, maybe people would still respect you.

Angelus

Angelus,

You should talk about being overdramatic. As well as being a pansy; you and your brethrin turn to dust from a simple wooden stake. I doubt you'll be much of a challenge, but I do hope you will prove me wrong.

Alucard

--

Ms. Hellsing

PLEASE CALL OFF THE ONE ARMED MONSTER WITH THE SNIPER RIFLE! I'LL JOIN HELLSING, I'LL NEVER FEED ON AN INNOCENT MOUNTAIN LION AGAIN, I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE VOLTURI ARE HIDING! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DIDN'T SURVIVED THE SPANISH FLU TO BE GUNNED DOWN LIKE A DOG! PLEASE DON'T LET HER KILL ME!

Edward Cullen

--

Sir Integra,

The Cullens have been eliminated like you asked; and I burned their remains to be extra sure. I had some trouble when they called in a bunch of pedophile werewolf-wannabes for backup; but they weren't much of a challenge. Can I come home now?

Seras

Seras,

Certainly. Also, if you can, try and find Alucard. I believe he went to duel some other vampire to the death. Again. If you do find him, try to keep collateral damage to a minimum.

Sir Integra.

Angelus,

I might be able to get rid off your Alucard problem. I was thinking trapping his mind in the dream realm and having him live through his defeat over and over again. Sound like fun? All I ask in return is that you eliminate a certain hockey-masked pain in the ass for me.

Freddy

The Slim Gentleman,

I highly doubt you're worse than a vampire. Of the few monsters that inspire more fear than they, I am one. If you really wish to impersonate me, then you shall have to defeat me.

Sincerely, The Slender Man.

Dear Slender Man,



My master is WAY scarier than you.



Seras

Seras

No he's not. Check the internet once in a while.

The Slender Man