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I make a character read an Inuyasha Fanfic Part 9

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20120206

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I make a character read an Inuyasha Fanfic Part 9




Okay! Three more chapters of this thing left, and the quality is very slightly possibly improving overall! *Cracks fingers* Let's do this!

Kira had just woken up due to a bad dream and snuck over to Suikotsu's spot and lightly tapped his shoulder. He had groaned and went back to sleep so she got eye level and poked his cheek a couple times till he woke up. He was annoyed and glared at Kira

Excellent idea, Kira. Wake up the most psychotic member of the Band of Seven. That will go over extremely well.

"What do you want?" he said through grit teeth eyes tightly closed clenching his fist. Kira looked down at him and tried to look cute even when she was scared.

"C-can i sleep with you t-tonight" she cursed her self to stutter but he looked at her and saw she was scared something in him told him to bring the girl in his arms and hold her for the rest of his life, but he shruged that off and moved over.


Still don't know how old Kira is supposed to be exactly. This suggests she's at least childish... Well, if she's a loli, let's hope her feelings aren't reciprocated, huh? Demon or not, still don't know how old she actually is.

She smiled at him and laid down next to him, he made it so he would not touch her when she was a sleep and laid on his side facing a tree. she smiled at him even when she was facing the fire and said "thank you Suikotsu" he 'hn'ed and closed his eyes just like she did.

Is he facing a tree or a fire? I don't know...

So... I guess this whole scene is to point out these two are going to end up married at some point?

Kira woke up to a arm around her waist and smiled to her self she enjoyed being with Suikotsu he was so sweet, smart, strong, and so much more she didnt care that he was a ex mercinary at all.

Okay, are we going with good or evil Suikotsu, here? there's a massive difference between the two personalities, and it'd be nice to know just which one we're supposed to be reading about >.>

'Am i in love with Suikotsu?... no i couldnt be we're just friends and thats all' she thought to her self trying to convince herself otherwise. She felt the arm around her pull her closer to the body behind her and felt him snuggle into her.

you've known each other for a few days, calm down. and why does everyone have to 'snuggle'?

This caused her to giggle and that caused her sister Akiko to wake up she smirked at her little sister, 'so my little sister is with Suikotsu well good for her' she smiled to her self and got up.

'This means Kira gets the most insane killer of this group! Dohohoho, my knowledge of Japanese grants me excellent jokes to think about!'

Bankotsu and Kagome were now just sneaking back into camp after their night of love making,

*Gags violently*

being rather quiet as to not wake up the loud mouthed half demon in the tree. Bankotsu smirked at Suikotsu he now had something to tease him with.

"Always knew you liked them young, Suiktosu. At least, I think she's young. Hard to tell, she literally lacks any kind of description. It's weird."

Kagome saw what her lover was looking at and smiled 'they look soooo cute toghter' she thought to her self while putting a peice of hair behind her ear.

I can only assume Kira's physically legal. It would be better that way, I imagine.

"its time we woke everyone up" Bankotsu said quietly Kagome nodded and went to making everyone breakfest while Bankotsu woke everyone up. Suikotsu woke up to the sweet smell of pine tree's and saw it was Kira he had a faint blush and let go of her sadly.

Okay, we get it, they're in love for no real reason.

Suikotsu had enjoyed holding her she was so soft, she fit just right with him, smelled like his favorite sent (yes i made him like the sent of pine dont juge me i love the sent)

...Why would anyone judge you for liking the scent of pine? Calm down, please.

and she never juged him for what he's done he smiled softly to himself and got up to strech.

Okay, fine, we're with good Suikotsu for now.

Bankotsu seeing this smirked and said "so Suikotsu how did you sleep" Suikotsu saw the smirk and gulped 'had big brother seen me shit he wont ever let this go' he thought to himself.

I dunno, Sui, he only woke everyone in the camp up, it would be quite easy to miss whether or not you had a girl in your bed.

"I slept fine big brother how did you sleep?" Bankotsu smiled and shruged "great anything interesting happen to you last night?" he said making Suikotsu start to sweat and become nervous.

Boy, the author sure is dragging this out. Did pairing my sister with a killer get too boring or something?

"N-no big brother" he said with a stutter cursing himself for it. "why so nervous Suikotsu? im just asking you how your night was" Bankotsu said happily Kagome got annoyed with this and smacked him over the head.

Thanks, sis.

"Leave him alone Ban." she said giving him a ster look like one a mother who would give their child if they did wrong. "hey its not my fault itsnot every day you see Suikotsu sleeping with a girl a demon no less" she rolled her eyes and went to wake up Sango and Miroku who were cuddling eachother next to Shippo and Kirara.

Oh yeah, Kilala was supposed to be around, huh? I feel guilty for completely forgetting her existence Mad

Once they were up all they needed was to wake up Inuyasha and Jakotsu "i got Jakotsu" Kagome said walking over to the snoring cross dresser. "i guess that leaves me the mutt" Bankotsu said walking over to the tree he slept in.

Why is this scene being dragged out like this? Seriously, I know I give the author a hard time for completely eliminating detail, but sometimes it's necessary. Like here, why is so much time dedicated to waking people up? This is effort better spent laying out geographical information so it doesn't look like Japan's as big as a small garden!

"Jakotsu its time to get up" she said shaking his shoulder he groaned but got up. Kagome smiled to herself and stood her part was easy Jakotsu was easy to get up if you had the right additude.

Shaking someone's shoulder is the right attitude to waking them up?

Bankotsu had trouble considering the mutt was worse than Jakotsu to get up. Kagome thought this was weird since he was always the one to wake them up and tell them they were waisting the day sleeping, and so she walked over to his tree and said "sit" he slamed to the ground and when Inuyasha woke up he was mad.

"Hey what was that for?" said Inuyasha agravated. "what you fell out of the tree Inuyasha" Kagome said smiling to her self and what really made her happy was that he believed her.


Inuyasha managed to confuse getting pulled by those beads for simply falling? He's not that stupid :/

"okay guys after we eat we search for jewel shards" Bankotsu said to everyone they nodded and ate.

Oh yeah, still doing that.

after eating the searched for hours till a snake demon who had been lucky enough to have two jewel shards him attacked. Bankotsu took out his Banryuu (forgot how to spell it)

Google it. Pretty much got it right anyway. Here's a gold star.

out Jakotsu had gotten his Jakotsoru out and Suikotsu had his claws out and the ready Miroku protected Sango, Kagome had notched an arrow, Inuyasha had pulled out his tetsiga and the snake demon relised it had no chance even with the two jewel shards in his neck.

So Sango is the only one that needs protecting? Okay, she's pregnant, admittedly, but she still has Hiraikotsu to throw.

Also, it's 'Tetsusaiga'. Why would you struggle with Banryuu and not bother at all with Tetsusaiga?

the demon didnt even have a chance he was killed instintly form everyone frighting him at once.

Overkill, much? It's only two shards equipped by a relatively weak demon, guys.

"Shippo could you burn the body for me?" Kagome asked her son who nodded. "FOX FIRE!" all the demon guts and remains were turned to ash thanks to Shippo's fox fire.

Was Fox fire ever any good at burning anything?

Kagome had picked up the two jewels and purrified them on the spot the added them to her jar.

All in a days work.

(okay time skip im to lazy to write what happens through out the day to sum it up the just walked and Kagome and Inuyasha had gotten into a fight which caused him to be put into a crater nobody tried to stop them because they didnt want her mad at them)

...-sigh-

you pad the first half of this chapter out with pointless crap, then say you're too lazy to write and throw up a summary? This is not how stories should be written!

Over to Naraku McRapist...

naraku was furious how could she escape he had her right were he wanted her and now she was gone. he stalked over to Kikyo who was glaring daggers into his skull.

Blame Koga, he's the one who somehow disappeared into the ether travelling to where Kagome had been held.

"what happened you were supposed to be watching her and now what she is gone" he yelled at her

She was? Kikyo was just kind of... mentioned at one point, then somehow reached Kagome long before Koga despite leaving later... I'm just kind of confused what happened at that point.

she was smirking at him this made him even more mad he grabbed her by the hair and started to drag her away not caring is she was walking or not he could her her pain cry's and couldnt give a fuck what she felt she lost his mate, his women, she was his and the little bitch lost her.

also, this is NOT how Naraku's thoughts generally go. He kind of prefers thinking up new ways to troll Inuyasha and everybody with even the barest hint of a connection to him. Not raping my sister.

And why did Kikyo stay with Naraku anyway? Remember the last time she was resurrected? Killed her summoner. If earlier scenes are any indication,she can just... walk away.

Kikyo was in total pain she felt as if all he was going to rip all the hairs out of her head and then kill her a slow and painful death.

You really don't have much luck at this whole 'living' thing, do you?

The two arived into a room and he dropped her body onto the cold hard stone floor he cuffed her hands to the ceiling then grabbed a whip. she felt absolut pain she screamed her pain hoping it would stop but it sadly did not he only made it hurt more.

Because this what Naraku totally does. Yep.

Sending his poison tenticals into her body he knew it would not kill her but it was enough for her to learn who was the boss and for her to know what he says go's Naraku is a man who likes things to go his way or else he gets mad and when he's mad everyone is untitled to pain.

well, if everyone's untitled to pain when he's mad, he really should stop acting out his hentai fantasies.

so i hoped you liked it i got the Naraku and Kikyo scene from true blood i love the show, but anyway i hope you all enjoyed this chapter of i can help you your reviews have been so much fun reading and it helps me write the next chapter so please R&R sorry it was late today my mom took my laptop and i have to go to the hospital my sister hurt her head bye guys

...Well, sucks to hear about her sister, but I doubt there was a strict time limit on when this was uploaded. Also, you really shouldn't lift scenes from anime if the characters enacting that scene are completely unfitted for it.

So... yeah, pointless padding and horribly OOC Naraku. I guess the list of atrocities is decreasing, though...
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