Grant a Wish

(Jumps in for boredom reasons)

Granted, but the shirt flies to candy land and you are left with only the sleeves.

I wish my drawings came to life.

Granted, but everyone you love turns into drawings.

I wish I had more Mountain Dew.

Granted, but I jack it and drink it all.

I wish I had some food right now...

Granted but instead of you eating the food, the food eats you.

I wish I can literally surf the internet.

Granted, but you wipe out and get lost in a sea of pixels and data.

I wish I had a very kind monster named Timbo.

Granted, but Timbo get's frighten by other monster's and runs away.

I wish Money!~

Due to lack of gramatical structure to clarify, you turn into a pile of cash.

I wish I wasn't so tired all the time.

Granted, but the overload of energy causes you to implode.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, but it's because we've been taken over by brain slugs from outerspace.

I wish I had a cupcake.

Granted, but the cupcake came from the dump.

I wish I can learn Nihonggo.

Granted, but you fogret how to speak any other language.

I wish I had a longer fall break.

Granted but you get no other breaks.

I wish I waz a brain eating zombie wolf!

Granted, but you're decomposing.

I wish I knew how not to be seen.

Granted but you don't know how to be seen.

I wish I could get away with committing crimes.

Granted; someone you care about gets convicted of your crimes instead.

I wish I could make people explode.

Granted, but with each explosion you lose a year of your life.

I wish I was a ninja.

Granted but enemy samurai captured you and kept you locked in a prison of sorts...

I wish I could help rescue onee-chan! Dx As a mechanized beam-spamming loli! >:3

Granted; you kill all the enemy samurai and save Emo; but then your mechanized parts run out of batteries, and you slowly die in Emo's arms.

I wish you had more battery power.

(Aww I wanted the dramatic final goodbye onee-chan scene xD It's just so beautiful~)

Granted, but I ran out of batteries right after I got onee-chan to complete safety outside the samurai's hideout and I die in her arms o.o (Ha! >:3)

I wish Emo had one final epic line to say to me before I completely die ;3

Granted but I totally flunk it by stuttering.

I wish I had the power to save my Imouto-chan from death.

Granted but hundred elite ninjas shall appeare out of nowhere to fight

I wish i was a NInja

Granted but you accidentally fatally wound yourself with your own weapons.

I wish I knew karate.

Granted, but your under arrest from suspicion of breaking building down with bare fist's.

I wish a faster computer

Granted but you drop it down a random staircase.

I wish I could beat the cheese out of everyone on my bus and get away with it.

Granted but cheese beats you up because it hates it when people say "beat the cheese out of" because it makes no sense.

I wish the world was like a comic book.

Granted, but you get stuck with this genki little girl who has strange superpowers and keeps calling you her big sister.

I wish that I knew what my powers were

Granted, but your powers will now change every two minutes.

I wish new powers

Granted,but due to the genie's inability to correctly parse your request, you have mistakenly resurrected the Axis powers.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

Granted, but now your body clock is boned, leading to lack of sleep, leading to depression, leading to you killing yourself.

I wish for eighty-seven more wishes.

Granted, but none of them are granted.
I wish for a better avatar~