Since my roommate moved back to Toronto (aww....) I've decided to hold auditions on who will be my next roommate! Now ready... BEGIN!
------------------------------------

Resident... something
Me: First person up!
Mysterious person: Greetings stranger... What'ya sellin?
Me: ..... Next!

I don't think so!
Me: So... Mr... Hmm, how do I say your name... Is it Dee-o or Die-o?
Dio Brando: ZA WARUDO! *stops time*
Me: *unaffected* .... Get the hell out, NEXT!

The Red-White
Me: So you say that you're Reimu Hakurei... THE Reimu Hakurei?
Reimu: Yeah
Me: *tosses a coin*
Reimu: DONATIONS! *dives for it*
Me: *writes stuff down* We'll be in touch, wait for my call to see if you got accepted. Next!

An Ordinary Interviewee
Me: Marisa Kirisame, huh? Are you sure that you're the real thing?
Marisa: Of course, ze!
Me: Oookay... Tell me, Alice or Patchouli?
Marisa: I'll take anyTHING you throw at me!
Me: Good, good... I'll keep in touch, wait for my call. NEXT!

Going Dere
Me: So you're Alice Margatroid, huh?
Alice: Yes, I am.
Me: Are you sure you're really Alice?
Alice: Hmph... It's not like I want to live here or anything... (TSUNDERE!)
Me: Oh really? *gets closer* Did I mention Reimu's gonna be here? THE Reimu?
Alice: Sign me up.

Totally Worth It
Me: YUKARI?! Gimme a bit of your CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *in mid-glomp*
Yukari: *opens a gap and sends me to space*
Me: It was worth it!

The Charismatic Sucker
Remilia: *busts through the door* Here I am, your new roommate who is overflowing with charisma!
Me: ..... Next!
Remilia: Hey! I haven't even finished the interview part!
Me: NEXT!
Remilia: Please let me staaaaay!

Protection!
Me: Hong Meiling? Oh, you'll be useful, very useful.
Meiling: Huh? You're not going to interview me?
Me: Of course! Of course! Now all you have to do is sign this agreement... *hands a clipboard, Meiling signs* ... that you will guard our room of any drug dealers, zombies, aliens, car salesmen, yukkuris, sparkly vampires, and/or Sakuya's flying knives.

The ⑨th Interviewee
Me: Cirno, is that right?
Cirno: Eye'm the strongest!
Me: Sure, sure. Now you do know that you have to pay part of the rent too, right? I might be planning on splitting it 70-30, 70 to you.
Cirno: What's a rent?
Me: You pass. Welcome to the room.

Too much questions
Me: Sakuya-saaaan!
Sakuya: Um... Hello.
Me: So, are you and Meiling actually having secret affairs behind Remilia's back?
Sakuya: What...?
Me: I also heard that you use actual humans to prepare your food, does that qualify you as a cannibal?
Sakuya: *getting a little angry* Could we get to the interview?
Me: How about the one where people say you wear PA- *knifed*

NEET
Me: Kaguya Houraisan. I don't think you'd be of much use. Thank you for trying, please go home to you and your rabbits.
Kaguya: I have to finally prove that I'm not a NEET by passing a job interview! Please accept me!
Me: Uhh... this is an interview for my roommate... not really a job.
Kaguya: I'll throw in Reisen.
Me: Deal!

Sex Appeal!
Me: Reisen Udongein Inaba... Okay, let's hear about your skills and what you can contribute to the further development of my room.
Reisen: I'm a useless bunny only good for my sex appeal!
Me: Good enough.

A Danger To Herself And Society
Me: H-Hehe... What the heck are you doing here?
Flandre: Ufufufu~ Of course, I want to play with you!
Me: I'm sorry, but you're too dangerous for my own good...
Flandre: Ehhh? What are you talking about~? You'll make a good play toy~
Me: Y-Yeah, nice to know that *presses eject button, doesn't work*
Flandre: Ufufufu~ Is something the matter?
Me: N-Nothing! Nothing! Ehehehe~ *pounds on the button*
Flandre: Come on, let's play~! *glomps*
Me: GYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I Want Some Kappa
Me: Nitori Kawashiro! You pass!
Nitori: Huh? It was that easy?
Me: Moe Kappaaaaaaaaaaa! *jumps on her*
Nitori: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *blackout*

Shutter Chance!
Me: Aya Shameimaru, right?
Aya: Yep! That's me! *snapshots* Gensokyo's top journalist, delivering the fastest news in all Gensokyo!
Me: And taking special pictures of people there right?
Aya: Umm... yeah!
Me: You're in.

It's Just Natural
Me: Did you know that dogs are usually in their mating season right now?
Momiji: Uhh, what?
Me: I mean that it's spriiing! Puppies are so cute! Kyaaa~ Moemiji-chaaan~! *glomps and knocks down, camera still stuck pointing just at wall*
Momiji: H-Hey! What do yo uthink you're doing?
Me: Fulfilling the laws of nature!
Momiji: Noooooooo! *clothes are seen flying across the room*

Playing Innocent
Me: *after the interview* So you bring good fortune and you might be able to even make the landlord cancel the rent? You're in!
Tewi: Thank you for accepting me! *thinking: Gehehehehe~ What an idiot, I'll be playing so much pranks on her*
Me: The pleasure's all mine! *thinking: Gehehehe~ I wonder if I still have the maid outfit and the collar in the basement~?*

Listen, Will Ya?!
*after a short while in the interview*
Me: Why of course I'll happily accept my onee-chan in my room!
Emo: Thanks, Imouto-chan!
Me: Oh~ Onee-chan~!
Emo: Oh~ Imouto-chaaaan~!
*meanwhile, in reality*
Me: *gets back to reality* Umm, uhh... yeah, you're in!
Emo: Did you even hear a single thing I said...?

Desperation
Me: So you're completely okay to sleep on a newspaper in the kitchen corner and with the no touching the girls rule?
Spidey: Yeah!
Me: Man, you're desperate...
Spidey: Well, I've been interviewed and rejected a lot of times already! 12229485313rd time's the charm!
Me: .... Wow, just.... wow....

Too Much To Handle
Me: *after one hour into the interview, hand shaking and angry veins on head, pen breaks*
David: You okay?
Me: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine... Will you excuse me for a bit? *goes outside* HA THERE YOU ARE EDWARD CULLEN! *screams of agony are heard outside*

That's Heaven For Me!
Me: You live in heaven and you still want to go stay in this place?!
Tenshi: Of course I do! It's boring up there.
Me: That's not a good enough reason... I'll feel sorry for others if I let you pass.
Tenshi: Kyaaa~ Such a mean person! Come on, hurt me more~!
Me: Uhh..... *marks an X* We'll be in touch. NEXT!

(Taking requests for characters that I might know, post them here!)