Zombies? In my Hoenn?! Pokemon Snakewood LP

Righty-ho, let's explore the crap out of this cave that apparently ate Groudon's ability or something!

about it..."

That's a great motivation to explore further. Which is exactly why Shujiko proceeds onwards!

-Roaring occurs-



Hm. Scary. Perhaps enslavement will help with the nerves?



There we go.



Deeper into the abyss you go, Shuji~!



Wasn't my suggestion!



Almost as if she heard it two minutes ago...



...Uh huh? Well, despite Shujiko's best efforts, she is unable to scale that slope. But we may return eventually!



And here I thought we'd upped our ball rank...

-EVEN MOAR ROAR-



I would suggest around that corner and/or up the lad-



?



...Hm. Seems like a cause for concern, that.



But anyway, our trek continues!



Stupid crumbling rocks, being too indestructable and big for me to get that one item...



Best to assume random flashes of white light accompany almost every sentence. Because that tends to happen.



"I remember these didn't have an 'n' at the start of the name. What I don't remember is why this was changed, and when. I guess I can put that memory pretty low on the 'important to recall' list, though."



"Also, I think this is the answer to that joke, 'What do you get when a muddy Geodude eats a Kingler?'"

Looks like Shujiko gets a little snarkier when she's scared or something. Anyway...



Entirely pointless area!



And I guess Shujiko's not having any more memory-related probl-



Hm... Well, I really hope Shujiko didn't contract with a Chain or something. Last thing I need is to try and escape the Abyss.

Anyway, continuing sounds good round about n- ITEM



Sunny Day? ...Well... um... I suppose it'll be good for when I get a Fire Type? If at all?

-Oh look at this it seems I didn't screenshot the capturing of this one Pokemon but don't worry I was thoughtful enough to get a team line up!-



Yeah.

As you probably noticed, I decided to replace Smoker. Wasn't really pulling his weight. Even Rations can deal respectable damage, but to be fair he's got STAB. And becomes an utter beast at some point in the possibly-near-but-maybe-not-quite future. And that's before evolution!



Now for the beloved switch grinding method everyone likes doing. Thank god for quick EXP gain + decent levelled opponents!

SOON ENOUGH!



"If I ever had any fears about this quest thingy I'm doing, they're probably gone now!"



I think we know just how beyond fucked these demons are now~



Yes, YES!



Shujiko ain't got nothing to fear in here!



Oh, nothing. Well, that was a lot of build up for DEAR GOD THE ROARING



Oh my god...



It's... it's...



CHARIZARD'S GHOST A SHINY CHARIZARD!

the Horsemen now."

Aw.



Not the most amazing name for a shiny Charizard, but I guess it's better than 'Char'.



...Now I'm just confused. When did Bahamut step down?

for your death?"


But it would seem Shujiko missed her appointment.

complete."
really startling."

"But if I wanna be a mighty king, I gotta work on my RRRRAAAWWWWWRRRR~~~~"



Gotta love them palette swaps! So now it's canon: Despite lacking the typing for stupid reasons, Charizards are all dragon kings!

...Now to get one for Shujiko.



"Just a plain old dragon, eh? And here I thought the Dragon King would have something that could be considered a challenge!"



M: "You were saying?"
S: "Minor setback. >.<"



S: "Oh, by the way, Meteor. I still remember the type chart."
M: "And?"
S: "And I know what dragons hate!"



M: "Wha-! how?! How can you have such a technique?!"
S: "Heh. Sometimes it pays to talk to everyone you see! I found the TM for this attack when I-



S: "...S-Seedy!"
M: "Am I challenge enough, human?"



M: "...Okay, that's just sad, human. I thought you'd take a little longer to break."



M: "...Though I have to say, that egg took a lot of boiling to go down."
S: "Heh. Well, I think I've toyed with you long enough, Meteor! Now I'll show you true power!"



Damn it Dragonbreath. Still faster, though!



S: "Still had Sam in reserve~"



May I ask why? All I did was take down two of your subordinates. I assume someone named 'Meteor' would have a way of blitzing a small town into the sand.

...Not that I want you to. Just, um... forget it >.>



...Oh god we have to go back through the gym >.< Already dreading that more than I was at the prospect of cave-crawling.

Well, if these guys can take down a dragon king's team, some gym leader really shouldn't be a problem!




"Stupid darkness..."

came with the zombies."



Where the hell are you keeping anti-air guns?



"You know, you look incredibly silly up close..."



Silly Haruko, thinking a Poochyena would suffice when I just kicked a frickin' dragon's ass.




This is pretty easy. SHUJIKO DEMANDS A CHALLENGE.



Enoby might need to rest here, Seedy can handle this!



Making Cut less effective? Fine!



We'll just buff our Ice Punch!
(...Ice IS special, right? I can never remember because earlier Pokemon games sometimes make no sense deciding what is special or physical in nature...)



"S-so strong...!"



"Grk!"



You'd think I would give Thunder wave a try, but nooooo....



Come on, Sam! This should be no problem for you!



You're gonna heal? Fine then, have some sand in your damn eyes!



Luxray proceeded to never miss regardless.

....

"...N-no way... I... lost?"

"But... I defeated Meteor! I defeated Pestilence! How could I have lost so easily?! Why was I so weak?!"

Poor Shujiko. That was pretty damn painful. >.< Forgot how much of a nuisance Haruko's Luxray could be (Too busy dreading the NEXT gym leader...) But since Haruko isn't pure evil, Shujiko gets to regroup and prepare for the battle once more!




Enoby sure loves training in an area where everything might as well collapse and spit the experience right at her.




Were Hombone's not surprisingly resilient to Confusion, Sephie probably would have just massacred Mahuhita's. She instead settled for Qwilfish.



No real advantages here, but Sam is delightfully powerful, so-



Wait, what? already?
...Wait, what? Mightyena can evolve?!



Into... um. That.

"...Um, well... At least you're still powerful, Sam! Though your previous forms were so cuddly..."

So yeah, I got a poorly-sprited Zoroark Gigawolf! Haruko's totally screwed now!
-Resumes training anyway-



Hombone's hate Ice Punch. Seedy adores it.




And Rations takes forever as usual. Thank god it learned Egg Bomb though, otherwise things would have taken... about ten years longer. >.>

Okay! All ready for that rematch!



We're prepared for that damn Luxray!



Simple~



Even though last time Enoby was still very much conscious at this point...



H: "You know, your last canine was much prettier."
S: "True strength lies not in appearance!"
H: "Speaking of, lookin' cute as ever, by the way."
S: "..."



H: "Grr, that's just cheap!"
S: "Hey, Sand-Attack is perfectly legit!"
H: "You have Leftovers! And you spammed the hell out of Howl!"
S: "Don't like it, ban them next time!"



S: "You sure love delaying the inevitable!"



S: "Want. But I already have two Dark-types... Anyway, Tackle!"



A: ":3"



Huh, even Sneasel can survive a hit with even one Bulk Up...



Not that it helped anyway.

H: "Huh, you've improved Even if you had to be cheap and stuff, but you won't stand a chance against my Trump Card!"



S: " W-what the christ is that...?"



S: "Immune to Normal attacks...? Well, fine!"



S: "Seriously? Sam didn't even feel that! This is the weakest monster we've ever seen!"
H: "It's strength lies not in power, foolish cutie."



S: "Even Dark types won't work?!"
H: "Cottoned on yet? Kingmadio is completely immune to direct attacks!"
S: "...Damn it."

What followed was an eternity of stalling, waiting for it to run out of PP for Night shade, until...



An eternity of letting it chip itself to death while I fully restored myself with Leftovers every turn...



The two super potions didn't help, but finally...



S: "I will snap if I ever have to fight one of them again. >.<"
H: "Don't worry, I'm sure no one else in Hoenn possesses one. At all."




Lovely. Now to leave and forget this whole experience.




...Birch, shut up. We'll find them when we frickin' find them, now let me revel in the fact I killed bloody dragons. What have you done so far? Did you apprehend the zombie cosplayer in the Mart yet?



"Question number one: Has Birch always been a pushy meanie?"

Champion - I'm looking for him."
was going back for it."

Well, that was easy as hell.




"The kitchen. With a candlestick."




Of course you did, Shujiko.



Now, onwards we go!

And thus, Shujiko sails for greener pastures. Or sandier beaches. Or safer regions. She's surfing, okay?



And beats up swimmers on the way.



Uh-huh. Hey Enoby, go destroy his water ty-



...Water/ground type.




Guess how much that helped?



"Oh darn it, a crumbling rock? If only I or my Pokemon were strong enough to remove this obstacle! >.<"



"Suddenly I remember how much I love this region. And now I'm its only hope for survival. Funny, that."



If only I were able to aid this poor woman in her desperate quest to get home... Instead I brutalise her only Pokemon and go on my merry way~



I feel the need to point out this guy apparently beat those two leagues with a Qwilfish and... a zombie? Qwilfish at level 22. Gameplay/Story segregation or terrible league? YOU DECIDE.



My spulunking senses be tinglin'!



"...Didn't wanna go in there anyway..."



Thanks, whoever distributes these things!



THEN DON'T SIC YER DAMN FLAMING PUPPIES AND PYRONIES ON ME, JESUS.

a job..."

Can't say I know much about fossils, but I never imagined the scientists literally broke them into bits to revive whatever was inside. Then again, I guess that explains how they do it so fast.



Pft, ice is still solid water, you know!



Ah. Well, speaking of ice...



HERE'S AN ATTACK KNOWN TO SLAY ANNOY DRAGONS.



Then explain how Shujiko totally destroyed you!



New beach, new threats... but nothing compared to Haruko and the Horsemen and Dragons, right?

Cleaning up the beach, one pirate at a time!



Please, not the old lay's purse! D:



It's funny how much less screwed you would have been if you'd only asked. :/



I recommend digging under the sand and building new civilisations there. Or just build sandcastles, either way make sure you deal with the tide.



Goddamn, how many Sitrus berries do you need!?



"Something in that house over there? Better go investigate!"







NPC: "I hear your brother is also a hit with the ladies, did you inherit that as well?"

Shujiko: "W-what?"

INTO THE HOUSE PLACE THING WE GO



...How does Shujiko know he was turned inside-out and back again? For that matter, how does the salt stay inside of he was...



Ah, whatever.



AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!



BLAST ITS BRAINS OUT, SEPHIE.



MUCH LIKE THAT, YES.



Good job, Rations.



I believe that was a crazy person, Shuji. Crazier than everyone else we've met.



Very well, we shall watch our surroundings carefully from here on out.



FUCKING NINJA WOOBIE CHILD



...Wait, did this child grow a penis?



...This region's pretty messed up.



OH GOD HE'S TOO FAST SHUJI HAS NO CHANCE



Hahaha no but really you have no chance, crazy chef.



I do not approve of Double Team spam. No shut up I never used that tactic to beat Haruko.



Heh. Way too easy. Anyway, time to-



GODDAMNIT Sam kill it!



Sam is unbeatable~



'Kay, we finished? Any more weak chef's? goody!



So thanks for the moral support and stuff. It was integral to victory and all that.



DEAR GOD HE WAS HIDING IN THE CORPSE.



I'm beginning to think a team of Munchlax and Kirlia is all these guys have. And it is nowhere near enough to stop me.



And no loot. So let's go~



How oddly specific. So why can't I have Sam Mach Punch it again?



Welp, nowhere else to go.



Aw, no cryptic messages written in blood?



Dunno why, but this and the next areas are rife with these kinds of tile errors.



Well, I assume there are no zombies or dragons under there, so...



...Oh hey, I'm inside... a submarine? Does... does that mean there's a hole in the roof? Of the submerged submarine? In which water apparently doesn't flow through?



Yay items.



"Huh? To be honest I didn't even know you were there until-"



"Which wouldn't have happened if you'd shut up."



"...Fiiiiine."



"Fell through a hole in your roof. I know the place looks trashed, but I will admit, it's well protected against leaks."


I'm Usher, his second-in-command."

What is this Visbu region I hear off?



"Like I said, fell through a hole. Listen, please."

repairs..."

Sounds like a pretty cheap guy.

Long story short: Submarine is trapped in rocks or something, engine's broke. Guess who needs to deal with it?

could fix the engine and go."
lower levels."



Refusal is always an option, Shuji.



you're too nice for your own good, ya know that?

Shujiko felt like starting a blog to express her annoyance at everything that'#s happened so far. The stuff she remembers, anyway.



Unfortunately, Shujiko isn't much of a hacker.


wires."

Odd place. Especially those simple designs. Since when were designs simple!



Again, rather odd.



Far less tile glitches than I remember being here, but this one still exists!

further."

Meh, I doubt this'll ever be important at some point.



So anyway, about that engine I need to fix...



Curses, forgot to screencap the capture or its nickname. It's Robert. Guess why.



Gotta find a way to fix this engine first. Should probably also learn how to actually do that, but I'm sure it's not much harder than smashing something until it works.




Good thing all I need is a spanner.



Aw.



Sam's power is astronomical! Relatively...



Suddenly I am imagining Shujiko in overalls and a hard hat. It's kind of adorable. A certain someone should draw it.




Hm, yeah, you did kind of drop down a hole to get here. And the elevator's broken...

about lately."

Can't imagine why.

Come with me."

SUDDENLY

time!"


Huh. Apparently Usher's voice transcends the waves.

Well anyway, let's head south for now!



...C-can't I... er, escort it? Besides, it's only a couple paces south :/



Yep, pretty sure that there owner is nearby.



I approve of this re-decoration.




Guess there's only one place left.



I'll bet it gets boring living here.

a soldier, you see."
them at bay."

So, two whole soldiers guarding the entrance of what's left of the population, eh? Must really suck to be an evil chef. Weak against your own live trade.



"Ah, sorry, my mistake! ^.^' "



"Well... I didn't see any more evil chef's running around. You could try a shopping trip?



"There's a Porygon2 up ahead, that would would probably-"



Shujiko: "...WHY WOULD YOU THINK I HAVE A FACELEECH!?!?!"
NPC: "You smell like you've been in contact with one."
Shujiko: "Well, I don't! And I never have! >////<"





"And your name seems to indicate some fun times, ehehe..."



Learn to ration! And if you're already doing that, ration some more!

can hold out..."

Again, cleared them all out. Run for that city up north! Shouldn't be any problems on the way!



My need for pointless destruction satiated, it's time to leave.



Nothing in there.



Caught an Oddish!




Hm, yes, perhaps... but first!



God yes.

alive..."

"Don't worry! I know they're safe! We just have to find 'em!"



Mighty convenient. Especially since there's two Pokecentres so close by it'd be redundant normally.



Well, anyway, perhaps a rest is in order. Gotta be at your best when wandering a monster-infested land!