medieval RP - Crack Pairings.

Sure. Why not.

Lyra/Alice? Go for it.

Candy/Milano? Fun.

What other completely insane pairings are going to happen? We shall see!

...

I swear, we've turned Medieval into it's own story and all these sidestories are like fanfictions...

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and two of the most mismatched people were currently making their way on horseback to the hostile kingdom of Derengia. The two were a few hours into their trek, and the conversation was.. less than lively. Alice was doing little to interact with her elf companion.. as the two of them were not on the best of terms. Still.. Alice was trying to be polite, as she had learned the young elf was the main heir to her people, and she was certainly not going to let her get injured because of that.

Every so often, Alice's eyes would flicker over to look at the elf, making she she wasn't about to fall off the horse, or checking if she still looked as miserable as she did when this trip first started. "So.." Alice broke the silence in an awkward manner, unsure of what she was supposed to actually talk about with her mostly unwilling companion. ".. hn.. I don't really know much about.. Elvish culture. Is your government similar to a monarchy.. ?"

"Not really," Lyra stated simply. Really, did Alice have to bring up such a dull topic. Oh well, it would be better than silence at least, "Elven leaders for one are called Elders. There are numerous elven tribes all with one elder, but it's the Silvertongue's elder who leads all other elders. And as an elder, you don't really have as much power as a monarch. I mean, you're supposed to be a source of guidance of course, but your word wouldn't be law. The other elves can choose to disobey you if they wanted with no ill effects, but normally they don't because of the high respect they have for the elder's wisdom."

Alice could already tell trying to chit-chat with this elf would be like pulling teeth. Oh well. As she listened to Lyra's explanation, she absent-mindedly pet her horse's mane. "that seems slightly.. ineffectual," she commented, accidentally expressing her true opinion without thinking. Usually she would've just sort of nodded or went along with it, as she did when talking to a regular noble. Catching herself, Alice started a bit.

"I mean.. I guess I get it but.. it sounds like it could lead to a lot of disagreements and infighting." It was too late for her to take back what she said now, she supposed.

"Haha, you have a terrible memory, maid," Lyra said laughing slightly at Alice's expense. How the maid could forget something she mentioned just the day before was beyond her, "Of course it's an ineffective system, I've already mentioned there's a civil war brewing between the tribes. My grandfather is doing all he can just to keep peace between the tribes, his natural silvertongue ability has weakened with age. He was trying to push me into a leadership role sooner than I was prepared for. It's one of the reasons I ran away. Let one of my cousins take responsibility. I'm sure they'd make a better leader than I would."

Alice opened her mouth to rebuke the insult, but instead sighed. "It has little to do with memory and more to me not paying attention," she admitted. "I've had a lot on my mind, recently." Most of the time he was focusing on Candy, and when not doing that she would focus on training or keeping the maid staff working smoothly at the castle. Still, the insult made her want to push Lyra off the horse, but she ignored the urge.

"Hm. Can't say I blame you for running away.. though you will have to go back eventually and restore peace to your people. If you're the main heir, you have a responsibility to at least try, even if you don't like it. I think you'd make an.. interesting leader." She shrugged. "But that's just the opinion of a maid."

"Huh, yeah I suppose I should," Lyra admitted, however reluctantly. she really didn't think she'd make that great a leader, but oh well, you can't choose where you're born and she was born as the heir. "But only if you lighten up a little and stop being such a stick in the mud. and maybe learn how to do small talk better, because politics are not usually what an elf my age want to talk about."

"'Stick in the mud', huh? Sorry I like to be a professional at my job. Plus, most of the people I talk to do most of the talking for me, so I'm not particularly good at holding a conversation." Alice smirked slightly and shrugged. usually she listened and didn't speak, especially when chatting with nobles at a party or the princess. They usually did most of the conversing, and she would just say something small in response.

"What would you rather talk about instead, your ladyship?" She knew the elf didn't like being referred to as such, which just made it all the more fun to do.

"Hey I told you don't call me with those formal names and stuff, I hate it," Lyra protested. She really did get slight discomfort when called things like your ladyship or m'lady, "Just call me Lyra okay? I'm not one of your fancy pants royals who expect you to act like the whipped little puppy you are."

Alice visibly flinched at the 'whipped little puppy' comment and scowled. It was well known, at least by castle regulars, that she was often referred to as the 'Royal's dog' for her unyielding obedience, and it was used as a taunt or insult by members of the castle staff or even townspeople that looked down on her. Many people felt she thought too highly of herself, going by the pretentious title of maid-knight.

"Alright, Lyra." She didn't say anything else after that, looking back forward again and cracking the reins again, speeding up the horses a bit more. 'Stupid, irritating elf,' she thought, her expression showing that she was obviously irked.

Candy sighed, her dress a little ruffled but not that bad. She had thought her outfit was better than going out in her normal Dress but it seemed that she had caught some unwanted attention after all. "Thank you, Milano," She said for probably the fifth time. She was definitely shaken, but she wanted to continue following Alice and Lyra.

"Aw, did I put the little maid in a bad mood?" Lyra said with a teasing grin. It was just so easy to get under the maid's skin, "Come on, lighten up, seriously. Keep being so serious like that and you'll never have a love life... or really friends cept the princess as much as you can call a princess and her maid friends. Besides, people really shouldn't just have one friend."

---

"It's fine, my princess, I was doing my duty," Milano said for the 50th time that day. It was surprisingly easy to convince the princess she was a special spy for Queen Marie who was sent to protect Alice and Lyra but ended up getting side tracked by saving the princess. she made the princess promise not to mention it to anyone else or her cover would be blown nor to tell her mother that she knew otherwise she could lose her job. "You are lucky I got there when I did. I fear for what would have happened if I did not get there in time."

"'Little' maid? You can't even get on a horse without help.. so I think you're the little one, actually." She looked back over at Lyra, frowning and tossing the reins of Lyra's horse over to her. "I'm not particularly interested in a love life. As for friends, the princess is certainly not my only friend."

"Plus, 'lightening up' is easier said than done for me. My personality doesn't work like that."

Candy nodded, "I'm glad you did. I can't believe that someone would... well anyway, thank you," She smiled brightly at Milano. Ever since the previous day, she had gotten to know Milano by name and now she looked, she was rather a pretty maid. Strange that she would turn out to be so strong though... but it was like Alice she supposed.

"In any case, I suppose you know how to follow Alice a bit better than I did, right?" She asked, trying to change the subject because she felt like she might be tiring Milano down by constantly saying thank you.

"Oh really? Name one other person besides the princess that you've hung out with, had a decent conversation with, could share your secrets with," Lyra stated grinning slyly.

---

"Yes, I know a short cut that can get us there in half the time even though we're on foot," Milano pushed back some shrubbery to allow the princess to pass it. She made sure to take extra care with the princess, she couldn't allow the young woman to get hurt while under her protection. Though the sooner they returned to Alice and the elf, the better, "Hopefully we can catch up before nightfall..."

Alice opened her mouth to answer, then closed it, thinking. Lily was a good friend, but when they spoke, they couldn't really be counted as 'decent conversations', as they mostly ended up with Lily rambling about things no one understood. Then there was Milano who.. she had already grown close to in this short time. Plus, there was already one secret she was keeping for her so.. did that count?

"Milano. I'm pretty sure she counts as a friend by now. And there's Lily who.. is my friend but I wouldn't really trust her with a secret, nor can I talk to her for long periods of time." While thinking, she had turned to look up at the sky, but now turned to look at Lyra. "So, threeish."

"So basically, you've never been in a relationship, so I guess you haven't had much release, huh?" Lyra asked still grinning slyly. Oh this was going to be good, she was going to so enjoy Alice's reaction to what she was going to say next, "Well, maybe from yourself, I guess. That strength of yours could come in handy for things like that, if you can take it."

Alice looked over at Lyra, raising an eyebrow. What on earth was this elf rambling about now? "Release? Well.. I mean.. I exercise and train enough, so I don't really have any issues with getting rid of stress, if that's what you mean. Certainly my strength helps with that, regardless of if I'm exercising by myself or with someone else in a sparring match." She guessed that was what Lyra was talking about, anyway. "Why do you suddenly care so much about my training?"

Candy nodded, "Yes, I'm sure we'll catch up by nightfall," She said this mostly to convince herself. She didn't want to travel at night...

"Excericise, huh? So that's what you call it," Lyra had to do everything in her power to keep a straight face. Otherwise she would burst out laughing at that moment, "Well I guess you can call it excercise, it is kinda a work out... for the fingers that is."

----

"Uhm... well if we don't, we'll set up camp for the night," Milano said then turned to Candy and gave her an assuring smile, "I'll keep watch so you won't have to worry. I won't let anything happen to you, my princess."

Candy smiled, "You are such a reliable person, Milano," she said, as she caught up to Milano.

Alice continued staring at Lyra blankly. "..Alright. You've succeeded in completely losing me. What on earth are you talking about, Lyra?" She was confused. She was obviously talking about something serious because of that expression but.. what was it? A finger exercise? She'd never heard of such a thing.

Lyra snorted, then snickered, then it grew into full blown laughter, "Oh gawd, how sheltered are you? Ahahahaha, I can't believe you... ahahahahahaa!"

"I'll give you a hint, it start with a m and ends in a n," Lyra said as her laughter died down slightly.

---

Milano frowned though her back was turned to Candy so she couldn't see it. Reliable? How ironic, a spy for the enemy kingdom was considered reliable by the princess. This saddened Milano, she didn't want to hurt the princess or her kingdom, but she had no choice in the matter. "Thank you my princess. That's nice of you to say."

Alice frowned and thought about it hard. Stress relief.. finger exercise.. starts with m and ends with n. It took her a good couple minutes or so but, by some miracle, Alice caught on. She suddenly whipped to look at Lyra, her face red and her mouth hanging open. At the same time ,she lost her grip on her horse, and went sliding to the right. Ungracefully, she fell off of her horse, landing on the dirt road with a whump.

Obviously, Alice had been startled. Scrambling back to her feet, she caught up and walked alongside her horse. "Really! that's not an appropriate topic of discussion, Lyra!"

Candy just said, "Of course, I only speak the truth," She said, happily unaware of what Milano was thinking.

"Bwahahaha...!" Lyra's laughter grew louder as Alice fell flat off her horse. That moment alone made the teasing completely worth it, "Hahaha, oh man, isn't sad, you're three years older than me and you're just now getting what I'm implying. Hah!"

----

Milano quickly shook herself of her sad thoughts and smiled over at the princess, "You are a very kind person, my princess." then something occurred to her, "Oh, this is probably the first time we've spoken more than a word or two to eachother."

The laughter about got on Alice's last nerve. That coupled with the insults made her usually-steady temper snap. Walking over behind Lyra's horse, she pulled her hand back, and slapped its hindquarters. "HIYAH!" The smack coupled with the yell caused the horse to panic, then start dashing foreward in nearly a sprint. Alice smirked and climbed onto her own horse, riding after Lyra.

"Aaaah," Lyra blurted, her hands releasing the reigns in a panic and she was sent flying backwards. She squeezed her eyes shut tight ready for the imminent crash. This was going to hurt, no wait, this was going to hurt ALOT.

Well, that hadn't gone as planned. Instead of just charging ahead, the horse had instead decided to throw Lyra off as well in its panic. Fantastic. She didn't have time to climb back off her horse, so instead, she pretty much leaped off, landing on her back and sliding a bit, while at the same time catching Lyra before she smashed her head on the ground.

Laying there, Alice wheezed a bit, the fall having knocked the wind out of her. Of all the stupid ideas she had, this was probably one of her worst. She'd really have to work on the temper issues. Catching her breath, she looked down at Lyra, who she was still holding onto after catching her. "Are you.. all right?"

Lyra was ready for the impact, for the incoming pain. Her eyes was squeezed shut. But... she never felt the pain, instead.. it felt softer than that. And she felt a pair of arms around her waist. The elf heard Alice's voice and slowly peeked her eyes open, "I-I'm fine. Just a little surprised... why did you save me?"