Good evening, everyone. I am Evangeline, the "Dark Evangel"; and I'm here to utterly destroy this piece of shit fanfiction. I shall drive the hack author who wrote this to weep in a corner! Muahahahahahahaahha! ...ahem. Lets get this over with.

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Ok, to start off, this is my first Fanfic posted on the net. I have started others but never finished them so hopefully I will with this one. This is a Fanfic based after the events of the second anime series "Negima!" hence the name "Negima Neo!" I will add aspects from both the first and second series but focusing on the aspects of the second.

Neo is the most overused latin word ever.

Well then lets introduce our main co-host, …Albert…Chamo…mile…the talking weasel.

All the unnecessary pauses. ALL OF THEM!

Chamo: HEY! I'M A FREAKIN ERMINE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE THAT!

Me: Right, anyway, from time to time, not including this time sadly, I'll ask my friend Samehada226 to activate a number randomizer to add in one of the 3-A students to help co-host like he does in his story.

Because getting your friend to help you copy his style is totally original.

Samehada226: Chronic laziness FTW!

If only you were lazy enough to have someone with half a brain write the fic for you.

Me: ANYway, lets get on with the first chapter of Negima Neo! The Magi Hunter. Enjoy.

I seriously doubt anyone is going to enjoy this.

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Chapter 1: What? A boy is attending Mahora academy? "By Ayaka"

I can already tell that this one is going to be a masterpiece.

A mysterious robed man ran across the ground with blinding speed. Wielding a staff in one hand and a sword in the other, he chased after a staff wielding man and a sword-wielding woman, a Magister magi and his partner, with an evil smirk on his face. Under his hood, no one could see his eyes, only his mouth, but it was enough to know the nature of his intentions.

You can read someone's intentions by looking at their mouth?

"Omne Flammans Flamma Purgatus, Domine Extinctionis et Signum Regenerationis, in Mea Manu Ens Inimicum Edat! Flagrantia Rubicans!" The Magister Magi yelled. A bowling ball sized fire shot from his hand, flying toward the robed man. Approaching ever so fast the burning sphere came just inches from his face when the robed man disappeared. He appeared right in front the Magister Magi.

Big deal. You threw a fireball. Is that supposed to impress me?

Stopping them in their tracks, he brought up his sword and swung it toward him

His sword was so sharp that it cut the period off the end of that sentence!

"Kenotētos Astrapsatō de Temetō! Dios Tukos!" The robed man yelled. Lightening was flowing through his sword as he spoke the incantation. The lightening took the form of a large axe as he swung his sword and staff at the Magister Magi when the blade of the white robed man's partner blocked his sword. In doing so, she stopped

The sentence slicer strikes again!

"My, my, aren't you the little nuisance?" The robed man spoke with an English accent.

Yeah, because we all know theres only one kind of English accent.

He immediately brought his sword back up and swung at her while aiming the staff at the Magister Magi.

Such amazing multi-tasking abilities.

"Kenotētos Astrapsatō de Temetō! Dios Tukos!" He yelled again. This time the lightening flew from both his sword and staff, again taking the form of a large axe; he brought his weapons of destruction down upon the Magister Magi and his partner.

"Haha! Now I have TWO, giant, stupid-looking lightning axes! FEAR ME!"

Walking over to the two bodies lying on the ground the robed man chuckled at the sight of his fallen enemies.

"Haha! You died!"

"That makes ten now, ten Magi down, and so many more to come. Soon, Thousand master, very soon you will meet your demise." He said as he held his hand over the dead body of the Magister Magi. A faint light glowed from his hand as he drained the powers out of the once powerful Magister Magi.

If they were so powerful, how come they died so easily?

"Yes the Thousand master will fall, and soon, you too will die, Negi Springfield, you…and him."

He's targeting Nagi? Oh Good. He'll be dead soon.

Mahora academy was pretty lively, the start of a new year. Young Negi Springfield had come once again to teach his students in class 3-A. On his way to his classroom, professor Takahata stopped him in the halls.

"Good morning, Negi. On your way to your class?" He asked.

No shit, sherlock.

"Takamichi! Yes! I was just on my way there now." Negi said to the professor.

"The Dean wants to see you, Negi. I would see him before going to class." Professor Takahata instructed.

"Ok." Negi asked.

"But you should prepare yourself for a bit of a shock, Negi, you have a new student." Professor Takahata warns.

A NEW STUDENT? WHAT A COMPLETELY ABNORMAL AND SHOCKING DEVELOPEMENT!

"A new student? I don't remember anything about a new student in my class." Negi thought.

"Go on, Negi, don't keep the Dean waiting." Professor Takahata said.

"Right!" Negi responds as he heads toward the Dean's office. As Negi walks through out the vast halls of the city academy of Mahora, he ponders the matter of his new student.

SUDDENLY PRESENT TENSE!

"A new student to my class? I wonder who it could be? But what gets me most is, why did Takamichi tell me to expect a shock? Could the new student be a being of the magical world, or a demon? I guess I'll find out from Dean Konoe." Negi.

Silly brat; stop talking to yourself.

When Negi got to the Dean's door, he knocked and waited for a response.

"Come in." The voice of Dean Konoe called from inside. Negi opened the door briefly, sticking his head in.

*Briefly? You mean he opened it, then suddenly shut it?

"You wanted to see me Dean Konoe?" Negi asked.

"Yes, Negi, come in." Dean Konoe instructed.

Upon entering, Negi noticed a roughly looking fifteen-year-old boy standing in front of the Dean. Dressed in a worn pair of jeans and a brown leather bombers jacket, and equipped with a small black sword, a large bag on his back in the rough shape of a guitar and a smaller laptop carry case in his left hand, he looked kind of nervous, the boy's short, brown hair seemed somewhat messy, yet it looked like it fit him very well.

I have to say, this is the first time I've ever heard a person described as "Roughly looking". Also, how can he carry all this stuff at once? I assume he must be holding the sword in his teeth.

"I wonder who he is? He looks like a good man, seems a little timid though." Negi thought.

"Hello, random person I just met; and have yet to even interact with! You seem like a good person!"

"Could you wait outside the door for a moment?" Dean Konoe asked the boy. He nodded his head and walked toward the door. When the boy walked past Negi, he looked at him, noticing a strange feeling from the boy as he saw his hazel eyes looking nervously at him, just before he walked out the door.

He's staring at your soul with his Sue Vision!

"Negi, I have a matter I would like to discuss with you." Dean Konoe began. Negi immediately shifted all of his attention to the Dean.

"I think we have a Sue infestation; we should exterminate him before he breeds,"

"Seeing as your entire class knows of magic and are your partners I believe it would be a good idea for your new student to be in." Dean Konoe continued.

Yes, make a pactio with the guy you just met. Wouldn't want him to feel left out.

"Why is that, Dean Konoe?" Negi asked. The Dean turned to the window.

"This person is going to be a new thing for Mahora academy. This is going to be something that has never happened so I want you to prepare yourself for what I'm about to tell you. Before I do, however, I need to agree to everything I tell you in the way of your new student. Can you do that?" Dean Konoe asked.

"Please promise to agree with what I'm about to say before I say it,"

"Yes, Dean!" Negi said.

"He's actually an alien lizard from space and a member of the illuminati and the MIB! And he's secretly sending subliminal messages into your brain from his evil space satellite!"

"Very well. His name is Alastiar McCarthy." Dean Konoe said.

"WHAT! MY NEW STUDENT IS A BOY!" Negi Yelled in surprise.

Didn't you already know that?

"I know this is a bit of a shock to you but there are special circumstances for him being here." Dean Konoe Begins as he turns toward Negi.

Oh boy, here comes the Stu's sobstory.

"You see there is someone out there, hunting down and killing the other Magister Magi, and our new friend, Alastiar, is a mage too, he just doesn't know it yet." Dean Konoe continued.

Probably still thinks he's a science mage.

"Ok but how does that connect him to Alastiar?" Negi asked.

"It's simple, really, Alastiar is among the same family tree as the Magister Magi hunter, the reason we need him is because you can teach him to use magic, and with him, we might actually stand up to our new enemy. You see, everyone he has been up against, has ended up dead, or never heard from again." Dean Konoe explained.

Yes. You TOTALLY need this guy to go up against Mr. Lightning Axes when you have a whole class full of people who could probably beat him to a bloody pulp.

"So if he doesn't know he's a wizard, why didn't you tell him?" Negi asked.

"The boy has enough to swallow, going to an all girl school is something a boy like him needs time to take in." Dean Konoe explained.

Hence why they should have told him he was a mage first. After that, I don't think he'd care much about going to an all-girls school.

"Oh…I see. And so him coming here is cover for his magic training?" Negi asked.

*Well, duh. I thought that one was kind of obvious.

"That is correct." Dean Konoe replied.

"But why here and not a magic school like where I learned?" Negi asked.

That's what I'd like to know.

"Because, Negi, it would be too dangerous for Alastiar. We need to train him and protect him until he is able to use magic efficiently." Dean Konoe explained.

"Right, Dean, I won't let you down." Negi replied with confidence.

"It's not me you'll be letting down if you fail, it's the world. Now, do you understand what you have to do, Negi?" Dean Konoe asked.

Save the Stu; save the world!

"Yes, I understand." Negi replied.

"Good. Now, Oh it's time for class. Negi, take Alastiar with you when you go." Dean Konoe instructed.

"Where is he?" Negi asked.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, he's the boy I sent outside the room. Hehehe." Dean Konoe laughed.

Even though you were standing RIGHT THERE when he was sent out.

"Oh, ok then, Dean, I'll be on my way." Negi said as he headed for the door.

"Just remember, Negi, give him a few days to adjust to Mahora before telling him he's a mage. Oh, and one last thing." Dean Konoe said. Negi turned around.

He doesn't need to know that there might be a magical serial killer out to lightning axe him to death. Surely Mr. Lightning Axe will give him a few days to get adjusted before killing him.

"Don't tell the girls until you tell him." Dean Konoe said.

100 yen says they find out anyway.

Walking through the halls, Negi lead Alastiar to his new classroom.

"Alastiar, you should learn to talk more. You've been quiet the entire time." Negi said.

He doesn't know how to talk?

"Sorry, Professor Springfield, I just don't have much to say." Alastiar timidly replied.

Professor? Since when did the brat start teaching at a college?

"Oh come now, there has to be something we can talk about. I hope to get along with you, not only as your teacher, but as a friend too." Negi said.

Alastiar looked away from Negi for a moment with a shy look. Negi looked at him with concern, then he looked at the bag on Alastiar's back.

"Umm, do you play guitar? Oh wait that was a silly question, of course you do, right?" Negi asked.

"…Yeah…I do on occasion." Alastiar replied.

"We all play guitar in my homeland of Suetopia,"

"Are you from England? I noticed your accent is similar to mine." Negi asked.

Cause all English people have the same accent.

"Oh…yeah, I'm from Europe. Just flew in yesterday."

"Hey, I heard that there was a boy on campus here!" The Hyped up cheerleader, Shina Sakurako, yelled out to the class.

She's so hyped up that the "Hype" had to be capitolized.

"Really! Wow! This could be a big scoop! I have to find this out for myself!" The reporter of the class, Asakura Kazumi replied.

Amazing! Wow! She uses alot of exclamation points!

"There's no way there could be a boy attending school here! ITS JUST NOT POSSIBLE!" The rich and haughty class representative, Yukihiro Ayaka yelled out.

THIS CANNOT BE!

"Oh calm down you blond bimbo! Let them gossip, it never really hurt anyone did it?" The red haired, Kagurazaka Asuna replied.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, BELLS!" Ayaka Fumed.

"You know, Asuna's right, you really do need to calm down. You're going to blow a blood vessel, I would rather not have to feed from the floor." The bloodthirsty vampire of the class, Evangeline A.K. McDowell taunted.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN THIS FIC? I DEMAND A LAWYER! AND MY WITTY REMARKS ARE WAY WITTIER THAN THAT!

Everyone just sat quiet for a moment, being freaked out by Evangeline's comment.

As if they'd be freaked out about me drinking blood. Pretty sure they're desensitised to it by now.

"Oh come now, you know I was only joking! The only one's blood I want is that little brat, Negi's!" Evangeline retorted.

Oh come on! Like I'd say that outright. Cause it's not true. Not true at all! Also, I'd never tell them I was joking. Trolling them is too fun.

"IF YOU EVEN TRY SINKING YOUR FANGS INTO POOR LITTLE NEGI, I'LL RING YOUR NECK UNTIL YOUR HEAD POPS OFF!" Ayaka fumed again.

I've ALREADY sunk my fangs into your teacher. How do you think he payed for training?

"Seriously you guys, you need to cool it. If professor Negi comes in here to see all this he won't be happy." The ever so happy, Konoe Konoka said.

EVER SO HAPPY!

"Well this class seems lively this year, eh Zazie?" The weapon specialist of class 3-A, Tatsumya Mana asked.

"Lively…as the living." The quiet magician, Zazie Rainyday replied as she balanced random objects in her hands.

Since when does she make puns? Or talk at all.

"15 points." Mana commented. "How harsh." Zazie replied.

That pun deserved WAY less than 15 points.

Murakami Natsumi began texting and sent a message on her phone. The nonsensical, Naba Chizuru received a text from Natsumi; the message read, "Do you know anything about the boy possibly coming here?"

Wow, she's texting AND sending messages on her phone? Such multi-tasking skills!

Chizuru read the text and looked across the room at Natsumi who looked at Chizuru waiting for an answer. She began texting, when Natsumi received the text from Chizuru, it read "Come on Natsumi, just believe in yourself. Whether you want to believe the gossip or not is up to you."

"…Huh!…" Natsumi asked with tears in her eyes.

I have no idea what's going on here.

"I wonder how smart he is? If he's smart enough he might be able to help Rinshen and I with our inventions. Right Rinshen?" The scientist, Hakase Saotome suggested.

Yeah; he'll probably turn out to be oh so super talented at everything ever. And then he'll upgrade all of your inventions. Because he's just so super special.

"YEAH! Totally, Saotome! And if he's not all that smart we can use him as a guinea pig." Chao Rinshen added.

I like that idea.

"Sigh, you two are kinda harsh. Using someone as a guinea pig? Come on you two. If anything, he should be given a chance, don't you think?" The swim club champion, Ookouchi Akira, said.

I'm going to give him a chance! A chance to die horribly.

"Hey Setsuna, do you think a boy is actually going to be attending the school?" Mana asked.

"Meh, I wouldn't be surprised. We already have a ghost, vampire, demons, and many other 'unrealistic' things in our lives so not that big a deal to me. Oh and not to mention that we have a ten year old wizard teaching us." The swordsman, Sakurazaki Setsuna answered.

Swordsman? Setsuna, is there something you're not telling us?

"Yeah that's true, I guess it really is something believable." Mana replied.

"Yue? What do you think of this?" The shy librarian, Miyazaki Nodoka (or bookstore girl as they call her from time to time) asked.

I've never heard them call her that.

"Honestly, I couldn't say, so many things have happened since last year that I have absolutely no idea what to expect." The ever so calm leader of the library exploration club, Ayase Yue replied.

EVER SO CALM!

When they reached the door to the class, Negi halted Alastiar.

"Here is Class 3-A. Now I do hope you will try to at least talk to someone here. It would be beneficial to you." Negi suggested. Alastiar looked nervous, looking off to the side slightly he nodded.

"Well then, lets introduce you to the class." Negi said with a smile. Alastiar stayed silent.

"Oh wow I can hear a lot of commotion in the room. I think you might just fit in just fine." Negi assured.

I don't follow that train of thought.

"Come on then Alastiar." Negi instructed. He then opened the door and walked in with Alastiar following behind.

"Oh look! The teacher's here!" the childish and mischievous, Narutaki Fuka announced. Negi walked in the room with Alastiar close behind, entering the view of thirty-one girls.

They immediately changed from a smile to Negi, to a confused look to Alastiar.

"WHAT! I WAS WRONG! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" Ayaka thought.

The author is a dipshit. That's how.

"Oh wow! He's cute! I wonder how he managed to get into Mahora?" The World War 2 loving basketball player, AkashiYuuna, thought.

Akashiyuuna? Surely you don't mean Akashi Yuuna? Cause I don't remember her ever mentioning World War 2.

"He looks so shy. I wonder if we'll be friends?" Akira thought.

"OK DOES NO ONE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS PICTURE! A GUY IN AN ALL GIRL SCHOOL! EQUIPPED WITH A SWORD!WHAT'S GOING ON HERE! NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE THAT MUCH! HELLO! WHY DID THE DEAN APPROVE OF THIS! WHERE DID MY NORMAL LIFE GO!" Chisame thought.

I thought she'd already accepted how weird her life was?

"He seems a bit strange. Who is this kid? And why does he have a sword with him? I can understand Setsuna having a sword, but why him?" Asuna thought to herself.

That's a good point. Why DOES he have a sword? I'm pretty sure it's illegal to bring weapons to school. At the very least, he should leave his sword in his dorm room.

"Oh wow he's so adult like! If me and Fuuka could date him, people would see us as more adult like too." The other of the Narutaki twins, Narutaki Fumika thought.

"NIN NIN!" Kaede thought.

...wut.

The cheerleaders, the Narutaki twins, and Yuuna all switched from a confused look to a huge smile and hearts in their eyes. Satsuki, Saotome, Chizuru, Misora, Sayo, and Akira changed from confused to simple smile. Zazie was never confused to begin with; she had the same blank look she always had.

Look out brat. The Stu is going after your harem.

As soon as he realized all eyes were on him, he cringed and looked toward the floor.

He cringes at attention? I think that goes beyond just being shy.

"Good morning everyone. This is our new student, Alastiar McCarthy." Negi announced. Everyone looked at him with surprise. Alastiar looked at each one of the girls of class 3-A. Kazumi immediately took out her camera and started taking pictures.

"WOW! So it is true! This is going to make a great paper!" Kazumi said as she began taking pictures from all angles (and I mean ALL angles). Still looking nervous, he managed to look everyone in the eye, except Aisaka Sayo the ghost.

Since Sayo is specifically mentioned; I have to assume he's deliberately avoiding making eye contact with her. Must have something against ghosts.

"Alastiar, why don't you take a seat and get comfortable?" Negi asked. Alastiar immediately looked to Negi and nodded and then walked over to the 'empty' seat next to Kazumi.

"Alastiar, not that-" Negi almost warned him but it was too late. The moment he sat, he felt a massive chill run up his spine, and cringed heavily.

Moar cringing!

Everyone else looked worried.


"Umm, why did I just get a chill just now? That was weird." Alastiar reacted.

"I think I can shed some light on this." Kazumi said as she pulled out her camera. She took a picture and showed it to him. When Alastiar saw the picture he looked surprised.

The camera showed an image of a transparent girl that appeared to be protruding from Alastiar's body (she looked really happy though).

Why would she be happy about this?

"GAH! WHAT THE HELL!" He reacted.

"That's Aisaka Sayo, and you're sitting on her." Kazumi said with a smirk.

"It's ok, I don't mind. Tee hee." Sayo said. Alastiar blushed heavily and immediately jumped up and searched for another empty seat. The girls of class 3-A giggled at his reaction, except Chisame, Ayaka, Evangeline and Chachamaru.

"What an idiot!" Evangeline thought. Alastiar found an empty row of seats at the top row, a seat next to Evangeline, two above Yue and Chisame, and another set of two above Haruna and Zazie. Noticing that Evangeline was staring at him in a way that alarmed him.

Hopefully; I'm plotting his grisly murder!

"Why do I feel magical energy from him?" Evangeline wondered. Alastiar picked the seat on the opposite side, the one above Zazie.

Above Zazie? I wasn't aware there was a seat floating above her head.

When he sat down, he sat his guitar bag on the floor next to him and sat back in his chair.

"Ok, now then, we should all get to know you a bit more, Alastiar. Why don't you share some facts about you? Some specialties, hobbies, anything will do." Negi suggested.

Alastiar looked worried as soon as he noticed that all eyes were on him again. He remained silent for a few moments until he finally he began to speak.

"Umm…I'm kind of good at playing guitar." He said nervously.

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I PLAY GUITAR TODAY?

"WOW! Could you play a bit?" Sakurako asked.

WOW! She's easily impressed.

"Well, not now Sakurako, we are in the middle of class you know." Negi reminded.

"Oh please professor Negi?" Another of the three energetic cheerleaders, Kakizaki Misa asked.

"Now, Misa, if you want to hear him play a song, then it can wait until later. For now, lets just focus on Alastiar feeling comfortable. The three cheerleaders suddenly jumped out of their chairs and ran up to Alastiar and latching their arms around him. Alastiar looked especially nervous after being in the middle of three girls hugging him, blushing heavily.

"Don't worry, professor, we'll make sure he feels very welcome!" Sakurako said as she held Alastiar's head against her chest.

Why does it sound like they're going to molest him?

"Well, it seems you got the idea. Hehehe." Negi laughed sheepishly.

"Hey don't hog the new guy to yourself!" The Narutaki twins simultaneously complained as they jumped out of their seats to run over to Alastiar.

Oh look. people are already fighting over the stu. How suprising.

"Uh oh!" Alastiar quietly said as the Narutaki twins jumped in his lap. Now with Sakurako holding his head in her chest, Misa holding onto his left arm, Madoka holding him by the left arm, and the Narutaki twins both hugging him, Alastiar was blushing to the point that he was beat red.

They're both holding the left arm?

"This is bad! Why can't I just be left alone?" Alastiar thought.

"Uh, girls? I think this might be a bit much." Negi said. "Oops! Sorry!" the cheerleaders said as they and the Narutaki twins let go if him.

"Well then lets all take our seats and get this class started, shall we?" Negi asked.

"YES PROFESSOR NEGI!" All of class 3-A said.

He's not a professor.

Throughout the English class, Alastiar could only think about why no one changed it so that he was moved to a co-ed school and what his life was like before he came to Mahora academy. Even as Negi lectured, Alastiar just looked out the window.

"What am I doing here? This seems like more than a simple mistake, and even if it was, why just run with it?" Alastiar wondered.

"Alastiar." Negi called to him, but he didn't respond. "Alastiar." Negi called again, but he still didn't respond. "ALASTIAR!" Ayaka's voice echoed across the room. Alastiar nearly fell out of his seat when she screamed at him.

"Uh, yes?" He asked timidly.

"Professor NEGI was asking for your attention! You know, you need to learn to PAY more attention!" Ayaka said with anger fuming from her voice.

"Sorry…yes Negi?" Alastiar asked.

"Are you ok Alastiar? You seem troubled." Negi asked. Alastiar sat quiet for a few moments trying to think of an excuse.

"I'm just tired, jet lag." Alastiar said plainly.

"Jet lag? Oh right, you flew in from England yesterday. Well, it's understandable. Maybe you should go to sleep early tonight." Negi suggested. Alastiar quietly nodded and Negi returned to teaching.

"What's his problem? Dozing off in class like that! Negi wouldn't do that had he been a student! I'm going to need to give him a good talking too after class." Ayaka thought.

Why does everyone think outloud in this fic?

The end bell started ringing and everyone started for the door. Ayaka was moving to Alastiar and was about to start talking when…

"Everyone, before you leave, we need to talk about where Alastiar will be staying." Negi announced. Alastiar instantly looked worried.

"Oh no! I think I know what he's about to suggest!" Alastiar thought.


Everyone grouped around Negi's desk, wondering what he was going to say.

The suspense is killing me.

"Alastiar has no place to stay at present, and we don't have any place for him to stay other than the dorms. I know that Evangeline would not be willing to have him there so we have to work with everyone else here, by the way, Evangeline, you may be excused." Negi said. Evangeline and Chachamaru turned and left the room. Just before they closed the door, Evangeline turned and glared Alastiar.

Maybe if I'm lucky, the first chapter will end with me killing him.

Alastiar felt a chill run through his spine when she looked at him like that.

Don't worry, Stu; that's just your self-preservation instincts telling you to run like hell.

"Alastiar, why don't you come down here too?" Negi asked. Alastiar got up from his seat, collecting his things, and went down to join the group, keeping his distance.

"Now, lets see who all will be willing to have Alastiar to bunk with." Negi suggested.

The cheerleaders, the Narutaki twins, Sayo, and Yuuna immediately responded with delight. Chizuru, Akira, Satsuki, and Saotome all smiled with delight (not as much as those mentioned previously). Asuna and Natsumi looked confused at the situation (Asuna for not paying attention and Natsumi…well she is always confused so no surprise there).

So much delight!

Konoka just looked happy as always (the only one who does). Mana, Setsuna and Zazie still didn't care. Ayaka and Chisame weren't happy about it at all. Everyone else just looked interested to see what would happen.

"Professor Negi, we'd like to have Alastiar room with us!" The Sakurako, Misa, and Madoka all said simultaneously.

"Oh no! I'm going to room with three girls! And to make it worse, they won't leave me alone! How did I get put into this situation?" Alastiar thought to himself.

"HEY! Its already three people in your room, it would be too crowded. He should room with us!" Fuuka argued.

"OH COME ON! NOW THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT OVER ME!" Alastiar thought.

Yeah, that is silly. You're not worth fighting over.

"Hey! Why don't you stay with us, Alastiar? we can at least act mature, giving you a comfortable atmosphere." Yuuna said as she rested her arm on his shoulder.

"If I end up in her room, maybe they'll respect my space." Alastiar thought.

"ARE YOU SAYING WE'RE NOT MATURE!" The cheerleaders and Narutaki twins all said simultaneously.

"Oh crap! Here comes the storm!" Alastiar thought as he cringed.

"I'm just saying that since you are fighting each other for him, I can at least act a little more mature." Yuuna retorted.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! YOU'RE JUST AS MATURE AS US! Not to mention your obsession with World War 2. You mean to say that is immature!" Sakurako challenged.

She's obsessed with World War 2? Since when?

"I KNEW IT!" Alastiar thought.

"We wouldn't mind taking him in our room. Eh Kazumi? Tee hee." Sayo Giggled.

Sayo, are you on happy pills?

"Yeah! I want to interview you when I can!" Kazumi agreed.

"Even they want me in there! Oh man! What am I going to do!" Alastiar thought to himself.

"So I take it that everyone has no problem?" Negi asked.

"Actually, Professor Negi, I do! I don't like the idea of a fifteen year old boy living in the same room as a female student, it's…just not right!" Ayaka complained. "Oh. I didn't know you felt this way Ayaka. Well seeing as everybody else doesn't have a problem and there's challenge about the subject, why don't we draw straws? Whoever gets the short straw will share their room with Alastiar." Negi suggested.

Or we could cut him into pieces and put one piece in each room. Problem solved.

"OK!" The class shouted. Negi collected fourteen straws, one shorter than the others and held his hand around them, hiding which one was the short one.

"Now I would like one person from each room to come up and collect a straw." Negi instructed. Sakurako walked up and pulled one. Long.

"Awww. I wanted to room with Alastiar!" Sakurako complained.

Kazumi collected her straw. Long.

"Well, I guess you can't be lucky all the time." Kazumi said.

"That's two." Alastiar thought. He looked at the other students and noticed that Akira was whispering something to Mizora, the religious one of the class.

"It looks like those two are roommates. They seem quiet. If I'm lucky, I'll room with them. I think it's already too late for any changes. Damn, why didn't I just say who I wanted to be with?" Alastiar thought.

He'll probably end up bunking with the person who showed the most animosity towards him; so either Ayaka or...oh fuck, please don't let him end up bunking with me. The less I appear in this fic, the better.

Mizora went to get a straw and Akira looked toward him and winked. Alastiar blushed and looked away.

"Oh well, better luck next time." Mizora said.

"There goes that small shred of hope." Alastiar thought. More students drew their straws until there were only two left. Haruna walked up and reached over to pull a straw. When she pulled it, it was short.

"That settles it. Alastiar will bunk with Haruna and Ku Fei." Negi said.

"Awww. NOT FAIR!" The cheerleaders, Narutaki twins and Yuuna complained.

"Well I guess you're with us then, come on, we'll make everything comfortable for you." Haruna said as she walked over to Alastiar.


"YEAH! I think we're gonna be good friends!" Ku Fei yelled as she grabbed Alastiar by the arm and ran off to their room.

Why does it sound like she's going to molest him or something?

"UH, KU FEI! …Don't hurt him." Haruna said.

"I wonder how he's going to deal with her at night?" Mana said.

I could make so many jokes about that line; but it would be too easy.

"He'll have to live the Fight of the Night." Zazie said. "Umm, 70 points." Konoka said. "Thank you very much." Zazie replied.

That wasn't even a pun.

"That guy is a delinquent! I'll need to give him a serious talking to later! He's going to have to learn the rules one way or another!" Ayaka thought.

She was about to head out the door when Negi stopped her.

"Ayaka could you do me a favor?" Negi asked. Ayaka suddenly turned from fuming mad to hearts and bubbles.

"Oh yes my dear Professor Negi! What do you need?" She asked.

"I would like you to arrange a welcome party for Alastiar." Negi said. Ayaka was so surprised that she nearly fell over.

"WHAAAAAAAT!" Ayaka screamed.

"Don't worry Alastiar! Haruna and I'll help you out with anything you need so if there's anything you do need just ask, ok?" Ku Fei said while dragging Alastiar through the dorm halls.

"Uh ok but do you think we can slow down? I'm having a hard tome keeping up!" Alastiar asked.

A hard tome? Is that a book made of stone or something?

"You won't have any trouble with that, I'm holding onto you, so if you trip and fall, you won't even get any further away from me." Ku Fei replied.

No Ku Fei, don't molest the Stu. You'll get his stu-germs.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Alastiar thought. When they finally reached the room, Ku Fei opened the door and went in. "Well here's your new home! We only have a bunk bed so you can take the couch. Or you could figure something out with Haruna." Alastiar stood outside for a moment.

"Come on Alastiar, you're going to be living here a while, come on in." Ku Fei said as she pulled him in. he tried to resist but she was too strong.

Why does their every interaction sound like rape?

"So what do you think?" Ku Fei asked.

"Umm…it's nice." Alastiar replied.

"You know, you need to talk more, it's boring when someone doesn't talk much." Ku Fei said. Alastiar stood there and looked away for a moment.

"So, you want the couch?" Ku Fei asked.

"Uh…it's ok, I'll just sleep on the floor, that way I shouldn't be in anyone's way." Alastiar suggested.

Yes, because he'd definately be in someone's way if he slept on the couch.

"PFFT! I know you aren't serious about that! Right?" Ku Fei asked.

"No, really, it's not a problem." Alastiar replied.

"Oh come on! Just take the couch? Its REAL comfy." Ku Fei suggested.

"If you insist. I'll just put my stuff there for now." He said as he laid down the guitar bag and laptop case.

"Go ahead, speaking of which, shouldn't you have some more bags for other stuff, like cloths and other things?" Ku Fei asked.

"OH! I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT! Where did I leave my duffle bag?" He wondered.

You probably put it down so you'd have room for your guitar, your laptop, and that sword you have no real reason to be carrying.

"Where do you think you left it last?" Ku Fei asked.

"Well I remember getting off the plane with it and…OH! OH NO!" Alastiar yelled.

"WHAT!" Ku Fei asked.

"I left my bag at the airport, all my cloths." Alastiar said sadly (with a small rain cloud over him).

Visual gags work so much better in a visual medium.

"Well I can't say there's anything that much to worry about. Cloths are replaceable. In fact I'll talk to Konoka, when talking about shopping for cloths, she's the best choice." Ku Fei suggested.

"Ugh great! Now I'm gonna go shopping with them!" Alastiar thought.

"Whew. Well at least I didn't loose anything else, that's a relief." Alastiar said as he put his stuff to the left of the couch.

"At least my guitar, my laptop, and that sword I carry around for no reason are ok!"

"Ku Fei, how's it going, you two getting along ok?" Haruna asked as she entered the room.

"Uh huh! We're getting along just fine. He's gonna be sleeping on the couch." Ku Fei said. Alastiar then looked scared for a second, as if someone whispered something terrible in his ear.

"Alastiar? What's wrong?" Haruna asked.

"Oh! Uh…it's nothing. I just remembered something I still need to take care of." Alastiar replied.

"Want us to help?" Ku Fei asked.

"NO! …I mean, it's fine; I'll take care of it on my own. Excuse me." Alastiar said as he ran out of the room.

Is he going to go do what I think he's going to go do? Hows he going to do that when he left his special sock at the airport?

"…That was weird." Haruna said as she turned to Ku Fei.

Alastiar ran through the halls past everyone with an intense look on his face. He ran right past Ayaka and nearly knocked her over.

"SORRY!" Alastiar yelled.

"HEY GET BACK HERE! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!" Ayaka yelled back. But he continued to run.

"UGH! That jerk! I'm going to teach him how things are, one way or another!" Ayaka said to herself.

"Oh Ayaka, what are you up to?" Haruna asked.

"What? Oh right! Negi wanted me to get these to you." Ayaka said as she handed Haruna and Ku Fei a piece of paper each.

"What's all this for?" Ku Fei asked.

"Negi wants to hold a welcome party for Alastiar. Although personally I think he should be thrown out of the school." Ayaka replied.

"Oh come on, Ayaka, you're being too hard on the guy." Haruna said.

No you aren't. He deserves your hatred.

"Yeah seriously, you've been giving him the evil eye since the second he walked into class." Ku Fei agreed.

"HE'S A BOY AT AN ALL GIRL SCHOOL AND IS TOTALLY GOING AGAINST THE RULES! AND IF THAT'S NOT BAD ENOUGH, YOU TWO ARE SHARING A ROOM WITH HIM! WHY SHOULDN'T I BE HARD ON HIM!" Ayaka yelled.

"AND WHY THE HELL DID HE BRING A DANGEROUS WEAPON TO SCHOOL? HE'S GONNA POKE SOMEONE'S EYE OUT WITH THAT THING!"

Alastiar continued to run through the halls, he ran past many others of the girls, not realizing who they were, and as soon as he reached the stairwell he jumped over the handrail and caught the handrail of the lower landing and continued running through the next door.

Others of the girls? What does that even mean?

"Was that…Alastiar?" Saotome asked.

"Yeah, he was in an awful big hurry." Akira replied.

Setsuna managed to see Alastiar just before he ran out the door. She noticed that his sword was ready to be drawn at any time.

That's what swords are generally made for.

"What are you up to?" Setsuna wondered. She got her sword ready and started following him. He kept running through the halls of the ground floor and past Kaede and the Narutaki twins.

Kick his ass Setsuna!

"That's weird, what's his rush?" Kaede wondered.

Setsuna followed quickly after Alastiar.

"Whoa! Even Setsuna is in a hurry!" Fuuka said.

"You two keep going, this looks bad. I'd better see what's up. NIN NIN!" Kaede said as she started after Setsuna.

This can't be the real Kaede. She hasn't said "de gozaru" once in this fic.

"Aww man! I want to see too!" Fuuka complained. "Well I guess Kaede has her reasons for not bringing us." Fumika said.

"They're treating us like children again!" Fuuka complained.

"Setsuna! What's going on?" Kaede asked.

"It's the new guy! He has his sword ready and looks ready for a fight! I'm making sure he doesn't do anything he'll regret!" Setsuna replied.

"Well I'll join you, lets see what he's up to." Kaede said.

"Kaede, you go ahead and catch up to him, I'm having a hard time keeping up with him. I'll be able to track you to him." Setsuna said.

"NIN NIN!" Kaede said as she went ahead.

Alastiar went into the woods, sprinting as fast as he could, with Kaede close behind and high in the trees and Setsuna following Kaede. Alastiar noticed Kaede out of the corner of his eye for a brief instant, and immediately changed direction.

"Huh? Where is he going?" Kaede wondered.

"Great! First they show up, and now I have followers! I can't let this get out! If more people know, they'll be in danger!" Alastiar thought.

"I have to do what I can to loose them, even of temporarily!" Alastiar thought as he pulled out a small canister. He twisted the top of it and threw it above him.

Three seconds later, the canister released a bright flash of light at which point Alastiar returned to the original direction he was going.

He threw a flashbang at his classmates? What a nice guy.

"GAH! What was that? A flash bang?" Kaede wondered. She jumped down to the ground to meet Setsuna.

"What happened? Did he get away?" Setsuna asked.

"I know exactly where he's going. Maybe we should keep our distance. If we do that, we can actually get closer to him in the long run." Kaede suggested.

"Leading him on eh? Lets do it. I don't want to let him get away if he plans anything against us." Setsuna said.

"Actually I don't think what he's planning is all that sinister. He's running 'away' from the academy." Kaede pointed out. Kaede and Setsuna continued to run after Alastiar, keeping their distance this time. Although he was out of sight for the moment, it is never an easy thing to evade a ninja.

Kaede will hunt you down and beat the stuness out of you.

In the distance there was a lot of noise, the sounds of large objects falling and metal hitting rock along with demonic voices.

Sounds like a metal album.

"What's that?" Setsuna asked. "I don't know, but whatever it is, it doesn't sound friendly." Kaede replied. They finally reached his location and were surprised.

"WHAT HAPPENED!" Setsuna and Kaede asked.

Don't know; don't care.

End of chapter 1


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Alastiar Has joined the class of 3-A at Mahora academy. Being at an all girl school is something that every normal boy would either dream of, or dread, but Alastiar is no normal boy. What was he doing so deep in the woods? Did Kaede and Setsuna discover what secret he has? How will Alastiar take the news of him being a mage? Find out in Negima Neo! The Magi Hunter chapter 2.

The idea of reading the second chapter to find out he ran off into the woods to masturbate to his heavy metal cds doesn't appeal to me.
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Me: Well there you have it! A new adventure for Class 3-A, a new student to Mahora academy, and A BOY of all things, I hope you enjoyed it, if not, then oh well, I tried.

You didn't try hard enough.

Chamo: Well I think you did pretty good…..ish….

Chamo, you filthy liar.

Me: ISH! WHO ASKED YOU!

Chamo: Didn't you just say "I hope you enjoyed it"?

Me: I was talking to the other readers of not you!

Chamo: well I do have to admit, the way those girls were all over Alastiar, I kinda wished I was him then, especially when Sakurako pulled him into Marshmallow hell! *SMACK* HEY! What'd you do that for!

"That's for complimenting this piece of crap!"

Sakurako: FOR BEING AN ERMINE PERV THAT'S WHY! *SMACK*

Chamo: Well at least she got it right.

Me: Wait, how did you get in here! Nevermind, anyway, next chapter will be up soon, don't forget to comment.

You want to hear my comments? Your fic was very... lolworthy. It's a piece of crap; but it at least kept me entertained. Please write more so that I can continue to mock your pathetic creations.