Okay, let's try this again. Even if the one Ken was reading was crap, there's gotta be something good on this site. Right?

Hmm, some of these Naruto fics should be good. Eeny, meeny, miney...mo!

Suzume Orfre - The Lost Soul

Ugh...that name is awful. I guess the first bit's not too bad, but "Orfre", did you just headbutt the keyboard and roll with it? Still, it's not as bad as half the names in Negi and the Shouckouw.

It was a weary day in the village. A slight wind blew and a little girl with waist-long black and ice blue hair ran through the street, giggling as she chased a rabbit. Her hair, covering her left eye, shone in the sunlight and her dress dragged around her ankles and it was covered in mud and grass.

Well, at least this story gives some kind of a description. Although all I got from that is that she's "a little girl with two toned hair that wears oversized clothes". And what village? Konohagakure? One of the other ninja villages? Hinamizawa?

"Suzume! You're getting your dress dirty!" her mother, watering roses, called.

"Don't give her oversized clothes then!" I, using a computer, typed. Or is that another stupid name?

Suzume stopped running, looking down at her filthy dress, "Sorry, mama..."

"Oh, let the child play. We can always wash her dress, " her father mumbled.

"And by we, I mean you."

Suzume smirked then started running again, heading toward the lake as she followed a blue jay. She paid no attention to the man watching her in the shadows. As Suzume ran, she bumped into a boy with spiky blue-black hair, "Oh, sorry!" she smiled.

Because blue jays deserve attention so much more than random creepers in the shadows, right? And I guess this is Sasuke? What had him so distracted?

"It's no problem, " the boy grinned.

Grinned? Huh...I guess it wasn't him.

"He's kinda cute... " she thought to herself then she shook the thought out of her head and smiled, "My name is Suzume Orfre!"

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha."

"And I think your surname sounds terrible."

"A Uchiha! Daddy told me a lot about them!" she thought.

He told me all about their plot hijacking superpowers!...Please hijack this fic.

Sasuke shuffled his feet, "I'd better go. My big brother is going to teach me a shuriken jutsu."

Oh, this is before Itachi killed everyone then.

Suzume's eyes widened slightly, "Ok! I wish my brother, Staritu, would do that... well, bye then!" she smiled warmly at him them kept running toward the lake.

...Staritu? Really? That sounds like a pokemon.

"You wish to be strong? I can make you strong. You want power? I can give you power. You want respect? I can give you respect."

Oh hey, it's a creeper.

Suzume whirled around, her teeth sharpening slightly, "Who's there?" She looked around warily, then her eyes locked onto a man standing a behind a tree.

Her teeth got sharper? Is that one of her bloodline powers? And what's with the x-ray vision?

"Kukukuku... my name is Orochimaru."

Her eyes narrowed and she didn't relax, "What do you want?"

Orochimaru smiled evily, "Whatever you want."

Huh, all Orochimaru wanted was a pretty dress and some animals he could chase, who knew?

Suzume eyed him warily but took a step toward him, "What do I have to do to get stronger?"

Oh, so she's going to get a curse mar-

He held up ankle weights, and a rope, "Come here."

What.

She approached him curiously, letting her guard down, and he tied her hands behind her back and put the weights on her ankles, then slowly and painfully slit her wrist, throwing her into the lake.

DUDE! SHE'S A KID! WHAT THE FUCK!?

She sunk quickly, the weights holding her down. Already, she was running out of air. She didn't have enough time to take in any air.

WHAT THE HELL!? And how did she not have any time to take in air?! Orochimaru tied her up and took his time slitting her wrists!

Her eyes were wide with fear and she saw dark shapes moving toward her. She feebly tried to swim away, but the ropes wouldn't let her move her hands at shapes moved closer, but she could still barely see due to the bloody water surrounding her.

Wouldn't the bloody water make it so she can't see? Or is her x-ray vision kicking in again?

She quickly realized they were bullsharks.

...Why the hell are there sharks in a lake?!

One of the sharks bit intoher leg, ripping a chunk off. She remained silent, not bothering to scream as the sharks continued to bite her.

Because people totally just CHOOSE to scream when horribly painful crap happens. AND THIS IS A CHILD! WHAT THE HELL, AUTHOR!?

Before she faded into death, she thought to herself, "So this is how I was meant to die, " then she slipped into unconciousness.

She's...really calm for a kid that's being torn apart by sharks...

After what seemed like eternity, there was nothing. No pain. No sound. Nothing. The sharks had moved away, their thirst for blood quenched. Suzume opened her eyes, "How am I alive?"

That's what I want to know...

Her body was regenerating. Very quickly.

So quickly that the fact she should've been torn apart and in the stomachs of several sharks didn't come into play.

She didn't understand. How could this happen? Her father never told her about this! Nor her mother! Where was Staritu? Where was her sister, Tala?

Tala? Well...it doesn't work in Japanese, but it's not as bad as Staritu.

Where was she? She couldn't remember. All she remembered was two names. Uchiha Sasuke. Orochimaru.

Being eaten by sharks, apparently it causes amnesia now.

There was a loud splash and she saw another shape moving toward her. It couldn't be a shark. It didn't have fins. Maybe it was Staritu! No, it wasn't big enough. Then what could it be? It's a boy, but who is it? She had never seen him before. The boy got the weights off her ankles and cut the rope away then helped her swim to the surface where Suzume gasped for air.

How did he know she was down there? Wouldn't pulling her back to the surface before messing with the rope and weights be better? When will we see this 'Staritu'?

"What were you doing down there?" the boy's eyes shined with obvious worry, his hair hanging in his eyes due to the water.

And obviously he can't brush it out of them.

"I- I, uh, I was... I was tricked, " why was it so hard for her to talk? No one had ever made her feel like this. Who was he?

That doesn't count as being tricked. You were just stupid. Well, no, you're just a kid. Your parents are the stupid ones.

The boy sighed, shaking his head, "I'm Collin. You have to believe me when I say... you should get back home as soon as you can. You're Suzume Orfre, right?"

Oh, so her family's worried about her. Makes sense.

Suzume nodded, confused.

Collin looked sad and... sorry. Why was he sorry? "Come on." They got up and slowly made their way to Suzume's home. Collin eventually had to pick Suzume up and carry her. When they approached the small village, Suzume couldn't believe her eyes. Everyone was... they were all... how could they be... why are they all...

Dead.

"Hey little girl, I know you just had a traumatic experience and that you probably want some time to recover from being...y'know, dead, but you really need to see this. Everyone you ever knew is dead!"

...Well, that's all the author's written for now. Maybe it'll get better in the next chapter.